# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 435
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8687 "2023-11-09T21:58:57Z")
“I won’t date any man who can’t type at least 50 orgasms per minute.” ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2023, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8688 "2023-11-11T02:12:37Z")
I’ll admit that “Press any key to continue” was the first thing that went through my own mind when I saw this image, but that fruit’s hanging way too low. So, after further review, I pass the baton to @Elmer\_J,Fudd. It also gives me the opportunity to post this parting image regarding brassieres – [![](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/frustration.png) ](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/frustration.png) _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2023, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8689 "2023-11-11T02:52:36Z")
Thanks! [![](https://oddstuffmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/family-fun-387x367.jpg) ](https://oddstuffmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/family-fun-387x367.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2023, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8690 "2023-11-11T03:12:21Z")
“Aw, Mom, do we have to have Family Fun? Can’t we just go home and do, like, homework or chores or something?” ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2023, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8691 "2023-11-11T08:35:37Z")
Bill’s idea for a theme park was a bit lacking in excitement. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2023, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8692 "2023-11-11T14:35:26Z")
“Martha, they’ll be fine. It has a vent. Now help me get this door up.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2023, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8693 "2023-11-11T15:30:16Z")
Family Fun. Another AmishWorld Amusement. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2023, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8694 "2023-11-11T15:34:37Z")
After consulting with our lawyers, we installed this attraction as exposing us to the least liability. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2023, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8695 "2023-11-11T17:39:03Z")
“Mommy, it smells like the ball pit at Chucky Cheese’s!” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2023, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8696 "2023-11-12T03:52:04Z")
The only Family Fun arcade with its own glory hole. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2023, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8697 "2023-11-12T05:24:47Z")
We paid for the sign to read FAMILY FUNCTIONAL DISORDERS but they ran out of paint. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2023, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8698 "2023-11-12T14:02:17Z")
The winner… > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > “Martha, they’ll be fine. It has a vent. Now help me get this door up.” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2023, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8699 "2023-11-12T21:11:13Z")
The sequel [![](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/78/c7/10/78c710f1355fe427035525fde934a2ae.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/78/c7/10/78c710f1355fe427035525fde934a2ae.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2023, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8700 "2023-11-12T21:25:55Z")
Catch me if you can. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2023, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8701 "2023-11-12T21:27:06Z")
I’m not gonna do The Dance of the Flowers! I’m not! ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2023, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8702 "2023-11-12T21:52:31Z")
In the same vein as the Professor, but taken from real life – “I’m not gonna dance with Bicycle Bill, and there’s no way you can make me!” _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2023, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8703 "2023-11-12T21:58:58Z")
How did he find my secret lair? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2023, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8704 "2023-11-12T23:03:09Z")
Her parents remember little Harley Quinn as “a real pistol.” ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2023, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8705 "2023-11-17T03:28:12Z")
**Knowed\_Out** , ya gots to pick a winna. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2023, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8706 "2023-11-17T04:28:10Z")
@Knowed_Out [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=434) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=436)