# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 445
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2023, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8887 "2023-12-15T15:39:33Z")
Now I want to see that! > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Elder Kringle, from the smash Broadway hit musical _The Book of Mormon Saves Christmas._ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2023, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8888 "2023-12-15T21:50:26Z")
Okay, what’s her problem? [![](https://www.liveabout.com/thmb/ldZi4WIH1TjqSJwTw5Zp3SPyNcc=/750x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(webp)/awkward-christmas-photo-twins-58b8b92b3df78c353c080d62.jpg) ](https://www.liveabout.com/thmb/ldZi4WIH1TjqSJwTw5Zp3SPyNcc=/750x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(webp)/awkward-christmas-photo-twins-58b8b92b3df78c353c080d62.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2023, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8889 "2023-12-15T21:59:14Z")
Debbie kept saying she wanted bang-bang for Christmas. This raised eyebrows until Santa figured out she meant a toy gun and was using the wrong finger. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2023, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8890 "2023-12-15T22:05:59Z")
Helen and Clytemnestra. They’re going to start some shit, they’re going to finish some shit. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2023, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8891 "2023-12-16T01:06:20Z")
But they’re cousins, Identical cousins all the way. One pair of matching bookends, Different as night and day. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2023, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8892 "2023-12-16T01:32:29Z")
And that’s all it takes to be banned from Sears Portrait Studio for life. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2023, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8893 "2023-12-16T11:53:16Z")
“We know which one of you is on the Naughty list.” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2023, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8894 "2023-12-16T16:42:45Z")
“I told you last year I wanted a _different_ goddam dress this year!” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2023, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8895 "2023-12-16T17:44:25Z")
Yeah, I got your visions of sugar plums right here! ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2023, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8896 "2023-12-16T18:55:30Z")
I guess we know which one’s the evil twin. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2023, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8897 "2023-12-16T23:47:17Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > And that’s all it takes to be banned from Sears Portrait Studio for life. Take it away, Mr. Fudd! ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2023, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8898 "2023-12-17T00:18:27Z")
Thanks! [![](https://paintable.cc/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/GoP4mOeE.jpeg) ](https://paintable.cc/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/GoP4mOeE.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2023, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8899 "2023-12-17T01:02:24Z")
Santa should have listened more to the whispering about an “Oath of Fëanor”. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2023, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8900 "2023-12-17T04:34:43Z")
When Santa hired her, he thought she said her name was Marie Elveaux. But he soon learned that corporal punishment would no longer be tolerated in the workshop. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2023, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8901 "2023-12-17T05:21:47Z")
I’m not liking this new Tarantino version of _Elf._ ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2023, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8902 "2023-12-17T05:24:34Z")
Okay, maybe Hermey shouldn’t be a dentist after all. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8903 "2023-12-17T19:36:12Z")
Did you actually think I was sniffing _snow_? ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2023, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8904 "2023-12-18T02:34:20Z")
This one goes to @Knowed_Out > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > .Did you actually think I was sniffing _snow_? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2023, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8905 "2023-12-18T12:32:59Z")
'Tis the season. [![](https://media.beaut.ie/uploads/2013/12/1682111-poster-1280-1-awkward-family-photos-christmas-style.jpg) ](https://media.beaut.ie/uploads/2013/12/1682111-poster-1280-1-awkward-family-photos-christmas-style.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2023, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8906 "2023-12-18T12:59:06Z")
At Christmas, please remember that it’s not the number of presents that you receive that is important, it’s how many you can steal off your siblings after you beat them up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=444) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=446)