# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 448
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2023, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8947 "2023-12-26T01:28:50Z")
Santa Claws is coming to town. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2023, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8948 "2023-12-26T05:59:39Z")
I detected that an intruder farted in this chair and I took appropriate action. You’re welcome. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2023, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8949 "2023-12-26T16:57:06Z")
> [@Bicycle\_Bill](#): > > The dog did it. You’re up, @Bicycle_Bill! ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2023, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8950 "2023-12-26T18:49:42Z")
[![](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/91akDt9SbVL._AC_SX679_.jpg) ](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/91akDt9SbVL._AC_SX679_.jpg) _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2023, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8951 "2023-12-26T18:53:53Z")
So you can truthfully tell the traffic cop who stopped you that you only had one beer. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2023, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8952 "2023-12-26T19:00:30Z")
Oh, and we’ll each have a packet of crisps and a catheter, please. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2023, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8953 "2023-12-26T19:27:06Z")
So, they sell pints here. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2023, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8954 "2023-12-26T19:38:40Z")
Bill uses this to see into the future, while Ed calls it a remedy for headaches. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2023, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8955 "2023-12-27T00:05:02Z")
Just wait’ll they bring out the 6-foot subs. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2023, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8956 "2023-12-27T09:55:14Z")
Pairs well with buffalo wings (from actual buffalo). ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2023, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8957 "2023-12-27T13:24:32Z")
The drawback to these servings is that the beer goes stale about halfway. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2023, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8958 "2023-12-28T02:46:49Z")
Tastes great! More filling! ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2023, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8959 "2023-12-28T04:34:09Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Just wait’ll they bring out the six-foot subs. And you’re up to bat, @needscoffee _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2024, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8960 "2024-01-01T16:22:19Z")
Hello, @needscoffee. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2024, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8961 "2024-01-01T17:25:33Z")
Dang, I missed it again! Let me find a pic… ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2024, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8962 "2024-01-01T17:28:18Z")
[![](https://i.imgur.com/rLwlQkE.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/rLwlQkE.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2024, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8963 "2024-01-01T17:36:20Z")
The new 2024 Hallmark greeting card can be sent with your own personalized virus. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2024, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8964 "2024-01-01T17:36:50Z")
“This tiny Grinch-sized heart needs love. STAT!” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2024, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8965 "2024-01-01T17:52:22Z")
Romance being in such a dismal state in the 2020s, with valentines sent “return to sender” with fecal smears, Hallmark made a play for Cologuard’s market. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2024, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/8966 "2024-01-01T18:05:31Z")
Researchers at Hallmark work night and day to remove even the faintest traces of sincerity from their products. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=447) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=449)