# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 453
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2024, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9047 "2024-01-17T07:05:42Z")
Cheers Kent! Sticking with the cold theme…Please could someone do the necessary with this one? [![](https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/funny-cat-scottish-fold-wrapped-600nw-1544710097.jpg) ](https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/funny-cat-scottish-fold-wrapped-600nw-1544710097.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2024, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9048 "2024-01-17T07:06:14Z")
Ah it actually worked for once! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2024, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9049 "2024-01-17T07:18:11Z")
“Okay, I’ll put up with this for now, for the photo. But later, when you’re asleep—it’s time to become the Shredderator!” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2024, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9050 "2024-01-17T11:43:24Z")
“Paul Masson will sell no wine before its time.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2024, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9051 "2024-01-17T15:04:30Z")
“What kind of sick bastard turns yarn into a _bad_ thing?” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2024, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9052 "2024-01-17T15:10:57Z")
From catnapping to… catwrapping? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2024, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9053 "2024-01-17T16:49:04Z")
What power art thou, who from below Hast made me rise unwillingly and slow From beds of everlasting snow? See’st thou not how stiff and wondrous old Far unfit to bear the bitter cold, I can scarcely move or draw my breath? Let me, let me freeze again to death. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2024, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9054 "2024-01-18T10:06:20Z")
I am showing my lack of culturalness (is that a word?? Culture?), as I have no idea where this comes from, but I like it. You win ST! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2024, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9055 "2024-01-18T15:23:24Z")
I wouldn’t have recognized it just by the lyrics myself, but it’s Henry Purcell’s _Cold song_ from 1691. It was always sung by a deep bass male, until punk singer Klaus Nomi, a countertenor, wanted to perform it as his goodbye as he was succumbing to AIDS. [Video here](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wrcvGUj8bnY&pp=ygUZY29sZCBzb25nIGtsYXVzIG5vbWkgbGl2ZQ%3D%3D) Anyway, thanks for picking my response. Today’s submission comes with a caution: you might be tempted to use Gainesborough’s Blue Boy, but keep in mind that so will the others, so you’ll need to make it the best in the category [![](https://images.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/styles/dynamic_medium/public/import-objects/142801_v0_large.jpg) ](https://images.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/styles/dynamic_medium/public/import-objects/142801_v0_large.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2024, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9056 "2024-01-18T15:32:10Z")
The 1682 season of _Shark Tank_ featured the less than illustrious debut of Garanimals. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2024, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9057 "2024-01-18T15:59:00Z")
This one looks familiar. It’s possible it was from a different thread, though. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2024, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9058 "2024-01-18T16:12:33Z")
The earliest #MeToo accusation, as eight-year-old Rupert is questioned by magistrates about claims he had peeked in at his twelve-year-old sister Beatrice while bathing. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2024, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9059 "2024-01-18T16:19:08Z")
“You were charged with sounding the alarm; yet when the sheep were in the meadow and the cows in the corn, you failed to blow your horn”. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2024, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9060 "2024-01-18T18:48:11Z")
“Georgie Porgie, you are hereby sentenced to 12 years hard labor emptying chamber pots for Parlement.” “Oh, thank you, sir. That sounds much better than going back to school!” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2024, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9061 "2024-01-19T15:57:26Z")
These all worked well with the material, but the best-suited to the material was: > [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > The 1682 season of _Shark Tank_ featured the less than illustrious debut of Garanimals. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2024, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9062 "2024-01-19T16:28:48Z")
Thanks! I seem to have fallen down a rabbit hole of skeevy 1960s Men’s magazines… [![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oxZf6lSWM0U/TcVeqSNk8vI/AAAAAAAAJVQ/9xQtqcakpEg/s1600/Copeland.jpg) ](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oxZf6lSWM0U/TcVeqSNk8vI/AAAAAAAAJVQ/9xQtqcakpEg/s1600/Copeland.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2024, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9063 "2024-01-19T16:51:47Z")
Jeff Chandler was the best customer at the sarong boutique ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2024, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9064 "2024-01-19T17:15:01Z")
“Here, a white man can have his fill of half-naked native women and be waited on by subservient monkey-men. Ah, what a paradise Indochina will always be!” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2024, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9065 "2024-01-19T17:16:06Z")
“Say hello to the nice ladies, Mortimer.” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2024, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9066 "2024-01-19T18:12:20Z")
These topless ventriloquists are truly amazing. I never saw their lips move once. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=452) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=454)