# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 458
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9147 "2024-02-07T17:39:57Z")
If you let me go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9148 "2024-02-07T17:43:22Z")
“Man, it’s a real shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that.” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2024, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9149 "2024-02-07T17:57:33Z")
Tell them you shot from the grassy knoll. TELL THEM! ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9150 "2024-02-08T02:53:18Z")
Let’s go. Maybell’s got herself in a family way, and there’s gonna be a wedding. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9151 "2024-02-08T03:04:57Z")
Enrico Caruso, pioneering the cape routine later perfected by James Brown ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9152 "2024-02-08T05:13:49Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Tell them you shot from the grassy knoll. TELL THEM! OK, I’ll talk! You’re up, @K\_O! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9153 "2024-02-08T07:10:57Z")
Speaking of shooters… [![](https://i.imgflip.com/118k85.jpg) ](https://i.imgflip.com/118k85.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9154 "2024-02-08T07:13:59Z")
The actor playing Juliet’s father decided to try a little improv in the latest film version of _Romeo and Juliet_. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9155 "2024-02-08T08:45:27Z")
How I Met Your Mother _(shotgun-wedding cagtegory)_ _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9156 "2024-02-08T16:10:18Z")
Torn between two lovers, Feeling like a fool… ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9157 "2024-02-08T19:06:05Z")
I’ll pick off that gerbil as soon as he pops out. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9158 "2024-02-08T21:12:02Z")
I guess you _are_ well-hung after all. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2024, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9159 "2024-02-08T21:14:39Z")
The Warren Commission missed a few details. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2024, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9160 "2024-02-09T00:38:57Z")
Don’t shoot! He’s a Republican! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2024, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9161 "2024-02-09T11:56:26Z")
> [@knoodler](#): > > I’ll pick off that gerbil as soon as he pops out. I never expected this one, so it wins. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2024, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9162 "2024-02-09T23:19:20Z")
[![](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:628/1*dAPY1acQlhfZCJw5NJaXfw.jpeg) ](https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:628/1*dAPY1acQlhfZCJw5NJaXfw.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2024, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9163 "2024-02-09T23:38:29Z")
“Son, you can’t live in our basement anymore. We need a dungeon for our Friday night sex orgies.” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2024, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9164 "2024-02-10T00:05:16Z")
The drum set, the X-Box - nothing’s worked. Maybe if we buy him an AR-15 that will bring him out of his shell. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2024, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9165 "2024-02-10T01:53:44Z")
The beta test of Drums Hero showed problems with the user interface. ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2024, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9166 "2024-02-10T07:45:29Z")
KFC? Wrong kind of drumsticks, Dad. But thanks anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=457) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=459)