# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 488
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2024, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9747 "2024-05-26T18:09:56Z")
You are. You own the caption. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2024, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9748 "2024-05-26T18:13:37Z")
[![](https://i.imgur.com/OygOx9M.jpeg) ](https://i.imgur.com/OygOx9M.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2024, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9749 "2024-05-26T18:31:47Z")
“Don’t worry Mom, I caught the squirrel! So if it tests negative for rabies you won’t need any shots!” ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2024, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9750 "2024-05-26T23:41:02Z")
“That goddam critter ain’t gonna drop acorns on MY tin roof no more!” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2024, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9751 "2024-05-26T23:49:41Z")
J. D. Vance’s Memaw heard about that feller Richard Gere and got herself some notions. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9752 "2024-05-27T00:10:16Z")
Young J. D.: “We kin still eat it, caint we?” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9753 "2024-05-27T00:37:20Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > You are. You own the caption. My whups. Yes, needscoffee is up. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9754 "2024-05-27T00:44:53Z")
Another day in the life of Beckdawreck. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9755 "2024-05-27T00:45:31Z")
“Mama ain’t goin’ nowhere til she has her smoke.” True story: I spent one summer humping part time with UPS as a helper, riding with a driver. The guy was 50 but looked 70, smoked like chimney. On my second week we were out on route when he started complaining of chest pains; he called it in, and the supervisor told me to drive him to a nearby hospital. We were a block away and he told me to pull over, and he lights a cigarette because “the c\*\*ksuckers won’t let me have one in there.” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9756 "2024-05-27T18:32:00Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > Another day in the life of Beckdawreck. I snorted. You’re up, Prof! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9757 "2024-05-27T19:01:37Z")
Thankee. Howzabout… [![](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.33077affd10dc5a467f8fb0e71f82ae6?rik=BT2e%2bZQP%2bFwFDA&riu=http%3a%2f%2ffunwithbonus.com%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2findy500startGrid.jpg&ehk=fc7yTiwjUJcx91ARuWUXzPwpCkyJglZeDqgp1tPEgPA%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) ](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.33077affd10dc5a467f8fb0e71f82ae6?rik=BT2e%2bZQP%2bFwFDA&riu=http%3a%2f%2ffunwithbonus.com%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2findy500startGrid.jpg&ehk=fc7yTiwjUJcx91ARuWUXzPwpCkyJglZeDqgp1tPEgPA%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9758 "2024-05-27T19:16:32Z")
Where’s Waldo? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9759 "2024-05-27T19:59:45Z")
No brown M&Ms? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9760 "2024-05-27T20:04:18Z")
“Now before we leave, does anyone have to go potty?” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9761 "2024-05-27T20:10:02Z")
I don’t know about you, but I liked the Shriners better when they wore fezzes and rode those funny little scooters. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9762 "2024-05-27T20:14:50Z")
_Indy 500: Special Edition_ by George Lucas. It just needed more storm…er, drivers. ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2024, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9763 "2024-05-27T21:33:36Z")
The world’s most expensive demolition derby. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9764 "2024-05-28T00:36:32Z")
“Car 54! Where are you?” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9765 "2024-05-28T04:12:30Z")
Who will win the 2024 Rainbow Parallel Parking Competition? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2024, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/9766 "2024-05-28T12:19:57Z")
> [@Bicycle\_Bill](#): > > The world’s most expensive demolition derby. Given the number of cars that didn’t make it to the end this year, this has to be the winner! Good one, **Bill!** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=487) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=489)