# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 50
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/982 "2020-09-22T04:14:56Z")
This one got the biggest chuckle: > [@needscoffee](#): > > “Honestly, it just seemed easier than dragging the whole family to the cemetery every holiday.” It’s all yours, **needscoffee**! ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/983 "2020-09-22T04:25:35Z")
Yay! How about this: [![](https://www.awesomeinventions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/strange-history-football.jpg) ](https://www.awesomeinventions.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/strange-history-football.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/984 "2020-09-22T04:31:27Z")
Gerald Ford, as a walk-on for the 1932 Michigan Wolverines ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/985 "2020-09-22T04:59:41Z")
“Man! That Krazy Glue really does work. He’s stuck to the wall!” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/986 "2020-09-22T05:02:33Z")
“I believe he’s demonstrating some Chinese physical exercise called ‘kung fu’.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/987 "2020-09-22T05:05:54Z")
“Well, using Eddie to knock the house over isn’t working. Better call the Big Bad Wolf.” ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/988 "2020-09-22T05:09:27Z")
_Back in the day municipal inspections were way more thorough._ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/989 "2020-09-22T05:11:08Z")
_There must be a better way to build a door._ ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/990 "2020-09-22T05:11:26Z")
“Nine-point-six from the American judge … nine-point-seven from the British judge … eight-point-eight from the Russian judge…” ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/991 "2020-09-22T05:20:02Z")
_The world was a helpless place before Chuck Norris came around._ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/992 "2020-09-22T05:25:21Z")
_Red Bull commercials had a great impact from the very start._ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/993 "2020-09-22T06:02:48Z")
_“Use your head” is not always the best advice._ ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/994 "2020-09-22T06:10:14Z")
“We attached a Timex watch to the top of this football player’s helmet, and told him to run headfirst at that wall… Ouch! How could our Timex ever survive that? … But it did! Timex–it takes a licking and keeps on ticking.” "Okay, cut. Print that. Bob, you can get up now. Bob, you okay? Bob? Bob?" ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/995 "2020-09-22T12:28:57Z")
Early barnstormers were unclear on the concept. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/996 "2020-09-22T13:44:17Z")
_I tried to tell Dr. Emilio Lizardo it wasn’t ready, but he just wouldn’t listen!_ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/997 "2020-09-22T14:07:55Z")
_Unaware of the existence of the powerful magnet on the other side of the wall, onlookers were mesmerized by Houdini’s ability to defy gravity…_ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/998 "2020-09-22T14:49:03Z")
Before the days of commercial laxatives, constipation victims had to resort to house battering to relieve their symptoms. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/999 "2020-09-22T15:34:06Z")
Back when _Jackass_ only had a viewership of three. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1000 "2020-09-22T17:00:59Z")
“He’s cheating! That house is nailed to his head.” (_To Elmer J. Fudd: If an idea is good enough to use, it’s good enough to steal._) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1001 "2020-09-22T17:04:15Z")
Eugene’s impersonation of a wrecking ball failed to bring down the house. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=49) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=51)