# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 71
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1402 "2020-10-15T08:36:30Z")
_There once was a schoolmarm named Catty_ _Who hated the kids that were bratty._ _The students were scared_ _Whenever she flared,_ _And took cover if their mistress got ratty._ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1403 "2020-10-15T09:32:03Z")
Mice and kittens should never share an educational environment. ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1404 "2020-10-15T09:34:39Z")
> [@PlaceboTarget](#): > > In Cattyland, everybody has not choice but to kick the cat. _In Cattyland, everybody has no choice but to kick the cat._ (I had to fix that.) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1405 "2020-10-15T13:19:43Z")
> [@PlaceboTarget](#): > > In Cattyland, everybody has not choice but to kick the cat. Just say it in the voice of Yakov Smirnoff. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1406 "2020-10-15T21:44:37Z")
I was flip-flopping, and decided to give SECOND place to > [@needscoffee](#): > > Despite her drastic measures, the class refused to reveal where they’d hidden Miss Catty’s catnip. And the winner… > [@Spoons](#): > > _The spanking of cats is a difficult matter,_ > _Such a cat isn’t one of your schoolcat trolls,_ > _You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter,_ > _When I tell you that cat has three different goals._ > > _First of all, there’s the goal that the cat needs daily,_ > _Such as food, and water, and a clean litter box,_ > _These are the things the cat accepts gayly,_ > _But he’ll be punished for skipping the teacher’s dull talks…_ Spoons, you’re up! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1407 "2020-10-15T22:13:32Z")
Thanks, **Dr. Winston O’Boogie**! That one was fun. Okay, let’s see what you folks can make of this: [![](https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/06/26/18/42/photoshop-1481000_960_720.jpg) ](https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/06/26/18/42/photoshop-1481000_960_720.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1408 "2020-10-15T22:29:16Z")
"Psst…How much for the little cat? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1409 "2020-10-15T22:45:42Z")
“Concerned that _Mockingjay - Part 2_ wasn’t going to end well for her, Prim Everdeen tried to open negotiations to be featured in a reboot of the _JAWS_ franchise.” ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1410 "2020-10-15T23:53:40Z")
Say, kid, you didn’t happen to see any tuna fish swimmin’ around here, didja? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1411 "2020-10-16T00:51:38Z")
“I rescued her from Miss Catty at the General Catty School for Disobedient Cats. How’s your school been treating you?” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1412 "2020-10-16T01:06:41Z")
“OK, cat. Hand over the girl or the boat gets it.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1413 "2020-10-16T01:07:42Z")
Spielberg Presents: _Jaws and Paws, Duel In The Ocean_. ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1414 "2020-10-16T04:28:08Z")
_“Thank you for your calloused heart, Darla. If you hadn’t flushed me down the toilet, I wouldn’t have turned into the shark I am today.”_ ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1415 "2020-10-16T05:39:51Z")
“Tomorrow night we’ll be back with the happy ending to _Moby Dick_.” ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1416 "2020-10-16T05:43:24Z")
_“And tell Will Smith if he does any fish voices again, I’ll hunt him and his crew down and I’ll gobble them up like a bunch of anchovies. Can you remember all that or do I have to write it down for you?”_ ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1417 "2020-10-16T05:50:54Z")
“This isn’t Pismo Beach! I must have made a wrong turn in Albuquerque.” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1418 "2020-10-16T05:55:59Z")
“…and sometimes I feel really down because humans think I have a tiny brain, but they don’t know the real me.” ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1419 "2020-10-16T06:00:01Z")
_“No, listen. I don’t know who told you we are the wolves of the sea, but we don’t howl at the moon. Period.”_ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1420 "2020-10-16T06:28:59Z")
_“But you vowed you could help me turn into a mermaid under the full moon if I bequeath Tiger to you.”_ _“Yeah, but when you said ‘tiger’ I expected something else.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1421 "2020-10-16T11:49:43Z")
“Your dad’s a lawyer? I won’t eat you then. Professional courtesy.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=70) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=72)