# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 75
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2020, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1482 "2020-10-20T15:06:12Z")
đŸŽ¶ [I’m Looking Through You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH6i9JAdJrQ) đŸŽ¶ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2020, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1483 "2020-10-20T15:24:08Z")
_Extremes meet - push the bounds of propriety too far and you become decent._ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2020, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1484 "2020-10-20T15:34:55Z")
After the Surgeon General’s report, the tobacco industry tried to fight back with the Miss Lung Cancer Is Bogus beauty pageant. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2020, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1485 "2020-10-20T18:31:43Z")
_Dear New England Journal of Medicine Forum: I never used to think the stories you printed were real, until one day
_ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2020, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1486 "2020-10-20T22:11:49Z")
The pageant judges breathed a sigh of relief that none of the finalists were heroin mules. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1487 "2020-10-21T04:01:02Z")
As usual, there are too many good captions to choose from! I’m going to have to go with @kaylasdad99 for First Place Winner with > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Dear New England Journal of Medicine Forum: I never used to think the stories you printed were real, until one day
 Many good runners-up, but in particular, I laughed most at these: > [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > “Oh! I thought you said do I ‘want to appear in an x- _rated_ film.’” > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > It’s a small comfort, but at least Betty Lou was voted “Miss Ankylosing Spondylosis” at the Inner Beauty Pageant. > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > After the Surgeon General’s report, the tobacco industry tried to fight back with the Miss Lung Cancer Is Bogus beauty pageant. I got a good laugh out of all the entries. Your turn, @kaylasdad99! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1488 "2020-10-21T04:16:05Z")
Thank you, that’s quite gratifying. I’m on a break at work right now, but I should be home and finding pics in a couple of hours. Stay tuned. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1489 "2020-10-21T06:25:46Z")
Okay, here we go. [![](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/91/9c/8b/919c8b18173d8dfe139d7dd07d9c566f.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/91/9c/8b/919c8b18173d8dfe139d7dd07d9c566f.jpg) Have at it, ladies and gents! ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1490 "2020-10-21T06:53:59Z")
_“Look. Pretzel Woman just for you, sweetie-pie.”_ _“I like bagels, mom.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1491 "2020-10-21T06:59:25Z")
“Mom, I need a note for school, and they’re not going to accept any more, ‘I got wrapped up’ excuses.” ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1492 "2020-10-21T08:13:11Z")
_“See? Nothing to it. And it can save you from any awkward situations.”_ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1493 "2020-10-21T08:53:34Z")
_“Mark said he could do anything for me, mom.”_ _“Yeah, but can he bend like this?”_ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1494 "2020-10-21T10:27:34Z")
Little Jenny contemplates her new Build-A-Mommy kit. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1495 "2020-10-21T10:28:35Z")
Dee Snider’s twisted sister and his niece. ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1496 "2020-10-21T10:38:53Z")
_“It’s pure nard. Can you smell it, sweetie? Jesus used it to perfume his feet too.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1497 "2020-10-21T11:58:46Z")
Tiffany would go on to fail Anatomy class 15 years later. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1498 "2020-10-21T12:03:50Z")
It was the worst case she had seen in her entire career. A low bar for a three year old chiropractor, but still
 ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1499 "2020-10-21T12:55:26Z")
_“But if they folded him like this Jack-in-the-Box wouldn’t be so creepy, would he?”_ ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1500 "2020-10-21T12:57:32Z")
See, honey, when you call a person a butthead
 ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1501 "2020-10-21T13:23:11Z")
_The really hard part is remembering to smile._ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=74) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=76)