# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 76
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1502 "2020-10-21T13:28:22Z")
The entry requirement to become a Member of The Dismember Club is to dismember a Member of The Dismember Club. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1503 "2020-10-21T13:28:42Z")
The first rule of The Dismember Club is… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1504 "2020-10-21T13:29:42Z")
Upon meeting the child she gave up for adoption as an infant, Mehgan falls apart. ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1505 "2020-10-21T13:40:26Z")
_“When I first came to America I had nothing but an old suitcase. And I was in it.”_ ---
**Author:** ![FastDan1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fastdan1/32/427_2.png) [@FastDan1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FastDan1)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1506 "2020-10-21T13:53:41Z")
🎼 Your foot bone connected to your jaw bone… ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1507 "2020-10-21T14:33:11Z")
_“Now take a look at the x-ray photos in the picture above and try to guess which of the three girls is me when I was young.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1508 "2020-10-21T17:06:08Z")
“Yes, it’s a little uncomfortable, but I know some men who will pay me several thousand dollars for just one evening’s work.” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1509 "2020-10-21T17:11:31Z")
Why, yes, I am head over heels in love with your daddy! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1510 "2020-10-21T18:50:11Z")
My Stepmother Is An Alien ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1511 "2020-10-21T23:30:26Z")
“Honey, could you hand me my shoes? I can’t quiiite reach them…” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1512 "2020-10-21T23:32:55Z")
Help Mommy up, will you, Darla? Bobo the Elephant’s on his way back over to sit on his stool. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1513 "2020-10-21T23:36:12Z")
“See, this is why we wear leotards. You think I could do this in jeans and a T-shirt?” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1514 "2020-10-21T23:47:21Z")
“This is the best we could do after Marco the Magnificent accidentally sawed me in half.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2020, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1515 "2020-10-22T00:07:29Z")
_When the rubes show up, don’t tell them about the mirrors, okay?_ ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2020, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1516 "2020-10-22T04:23:48Z")
Had I been competing, I would have been inclined to say something about an IKEA item called a Høggenmåmmer or something, so **running-coach** was a strong contender with Jenny and the Build-a-Mommy kit concept. But I have to give it to: > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > My Stepmother Is An Alien Take it away, Prof.! ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2020, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1517 "2020-10-22T05:16:55Z")
Yeah, I knew none of mine would beat those! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2020, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1518 "2020-10-22T18:19:08Z")
I’m surprised. I found a lot of the others funnier 'n mine. This is the new one: [![](https://cdn.acidcow.com/pics/20110120/funny_hat_03.jpg) ](https://cdn.acidcow.com/pics/20110120/funny_hat_03.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2020, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1519 "2020-10-22T18:21:46Z")
_“And if I add these nuts up here I’ll look just like Billy the Murricane.”_ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2020, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1520 "2020-10-22T18:34:17Z")
_“They’re cones, I’m nuts, and you’re my little pumpkin. Together we’re spicy, divided we suck.” [wink wink]_ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2020, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1521 "2020-10-22T18:39:45Z")
This? It’s for a 6-ft deep foxhole at a cemetery I occasionally hide in to surprise mourners. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=75) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=77)