# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 1) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 19, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731 "2020-07-19T04:15:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 83
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1642 "2020-10-28T20:59:56Z")
Thanks! I hope you’re feeling better soon! ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1643 "2020-10-28T21:00:44Z")
[![](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/blazin-groom__880.jpg) ](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/blazin-groom__880.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1644 "2020-10-28T21:02:38Z")
The groom is _SO HAWT!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1645 "2020-10-28T21:08:56Z")
🎶 A hunk, a hunk of burning love 🎶 ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1646 "2020-10-28T21:09:41Z")
After all the men, she wound up marrying her old flame. ---
**Author:** ![Quondam\_Mechanic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quondam_mechanic/32/3404_2.png) [@Quondam\_Mechanic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quondam_Mechanic)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1647 "2020-10-28T21:12:11Z")
_Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!_ ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1648 "2020-10-28T21:16:53Z")
Ghost Rider’s great grandfather married ice block heiress Anna Frump, originating the expression “When Hell freezes over.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1649 "2020-10-28T21:20:18Z")
Ghost Rider finally traded his chopper in for a sweet, sweet ride. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1650 "2020-10-28T21:24:31Z")
Johnny Storm’s great-grandfather. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1651 "2020-10-28T21:25:37Z")
She had an abrasive personality, he was a hothead. They were well matched. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1652 "2020-10-28T21:32:40Z")
No message. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1653 "2020-10-28T21:34:17Z")
She’ll carry him across the threshold, because he’s lighter. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1654 "2020-10-28T21:36:48Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > She’ll carry him across the threshold, because he’s lighter. - After a disappointing honeymoon, she forever after called him “Zippo”. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1655 "2020-10-29T01:24:02Z")
Bill auditioned for a role in _Scanners_, but David Cronenberg was obviously looking for somebody else. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1656 "2020-10-29T01:39:15Z")
Three husbands lost to spontaneous human combustion. What are the odds? ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1657 "2020-10-29T01:57:36Z")
Ethel’s family didn’t quite understand what Ethel meant when she said she would like them to meet her new boyfriend, Burnie. ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1658 "2020-10-29T03:56:54Z")
_It was the most consuming affair Rufus had ever had._ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1659 "2020-10-29T04:12:31Z")
_In spite of everything, nobody noticed the groom’s thinning hair._ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1660 "2020-10-29T04:19:08Z")
_Marrying three times is as bad as a fire._ ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731/1661 "2020-10-29T04:36:49Z")
_“When she first raised the issue of marriage I said to myself, ‘where’s the fire?’”_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=82) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-1/915731.md?page=84)