# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 4, 2024, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717 "2024-07-04T12:49:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 136
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2025, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2701 "2025-05-05T03:40:29Z")
“First, the earth cooled. Then the dinosaurs came.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2025, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2702 "2025-05-05T04:07:47Z")
“Kids, have you ever seen a grown man…N/m” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2025, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2703 "2025-05-05T04:10:30Z")
“For the last time, when you hit a home run, you do _not_ do the Elaine Benes dance around the bases.” ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2025, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2704 "2025-05-05T17:24:02Z")
“This time, Billy, when you get a hit, run to FIRST, not THIRD.” ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2025, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2705 "2025-05-05T22:59:11Z")
Look, the grey beard’s a dead giveaway. I don’t think you’ll pass for being under twelve, so you can’t join us, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2025, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2706 "2025-05-06T02:08:06Z")
Giving it to > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > “We have a special ground rule today. A fly ball that hits the kid sailing across from the swings is an automatic double.” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2025, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2707 "2025-05-06T03:10:30Z")
Continuing the sports theme [![](https://cairoscene.com/Content/Admin/Uploads/Articles/ArticlesMainPhoto/3171/0a3a7cc3-23e8-4300-98ff-e40a45a59db7.jpg) ](https://cairoscene.com/Content/Admin/Uploads/Articles/ArticlesMainPhoto/3171/0a3a7cc3-23e8-4300-98ff-e40a45a59db7.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2025, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2708 "2025-05-06T03:19:15Z")
A demonstration of riding bearback. ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2025, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2709 "2025-05-06T05:22:15Z")
The Unbearable Lightness of Horse Racing ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2025, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2710 "2025-05-06T05:23:02Z")
In Soviet Russia, bear rides you! ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2025, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2711 "2025-05-06T05:25:16Z")
I don’t have to outride the bear, I just have to outride you. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2025, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2712 "2025-05-06T07:49:05Z")
Beorn had to borrow Shadowfax before he could join the ‘Forest Racers’. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2025, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2713 "2025-05-06T17:31:44Z")
I don’t think this is what they meant when they said that all Calvary riders must bear arms. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2714 "2025-05-07T00:54:18Z")
Why horses instinctively fear having anything on their backs. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2715 "2025-05-07T01:57:50Z")
And the winner is @knoodler , because this caption sounded classier than the others. > [@knoodler](#): > > The Unbearable Lightness of Horse Racing You’re at the gate **knoodler** ---
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2716 "2025-05-07T06:12:47Z")
Thanks **Kent\_Clark**! Sticking with the horse racing theme… [![](https://buffetoblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/a-sumo-jockey.jpg) ](https://buffetoblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/a-sumo-jockey.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2717 "2025-05-07T06:21:51Z")
Stop size discrimination! Bigger riders are equally capable of jockeying as smaller riders! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2718 "2025-05-07T06:49:01Z")
“Stewards, disqualify Number 14! The jockey has neither a helmet nor a flak jacket!” (Side note that may help make sense out of this one: The parimutuel licensing agencies in North America require all riders on the track to wear both at all times, if the track is to have a betting license. This seems to be a European track, but I’m sure they have the same rule.) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2719 "2025-05-07T14:30:04Z")
The handicap requirements on #14 started to get ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2025, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/2720 "2025-05-07T15:05:53Z")
Number 14 tested negative for amphetamines but still exposed the other horses to crack. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717.md?page=135) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717.md?page=137)