# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 4, 2024, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717 "2024-07-04T12:49:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 158
**Author:** ![knoodler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ccd318/32.png) [@knoodler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knoodler)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3141 "2025-06-28T22:18:18Z")
“Turn me into a beehive? I’ll kill the b\*tch!” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3142 "2025-06-29T02:59:56Z")
“…if I only had a heart. But yours will do.” “You people with hearts have something to guide you, and need never do wrong; but I have no heart, and so I must be very careful.” (Directly from Baum’s text, and it still works) Finally, a phrase that’s long been a reliable stand-by when dealing with troublesome people: “Now you’ve made the metal plate in my skull vibrate, _and that’s when bad things happen!_” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3143 "2025-06-29T03:05:24Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > “Now you’ve made the metal plate in my scull vibrate, _and that’s when bad things happen!_” [not an entry] You were on the rowing team, right? [nae] ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3144 "2025-06-29T03:08:19Z")
Thanks for the catch. Damn blepharitis will have me walking in front of a tram or shot for being in the wrong bed someday soon ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3145 "2025-06-29T04:49:15Z")
_I simply can’t sleep if I know there’s a mosquito around._ ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3146 "2025-06-29T05:35:41Z")
If that damn dog pees against my leg one more time… ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3147 "2025-06-29T05:44:22Z")
“I fought off flying monkeys, tree monsters and winkies, and even killed a wicked witch and all I got was a stupid novelty clock!” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3148 "2025-06-29T05:50:04Z")
“Lion smoked over a bed of straw, here I come!” ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3149 "2025-06-29T07:45:58Z")
It’s not _where_ you go. It’s who you meet along the wa…. oh, crap. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3150 "2025-06-29T11:21:50Z")
The real reason Buddy Ebsen was passed for the role of Tin Man ---
**Author:** ![Bicycle\_Bill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bicycle_bill/32/6208_2.png) [@Bicycle\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bicycle_Bill)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3151 "2025-06-29T12:16:26Z")
The Wizard _ **did** _ give the Tin Man a heart. Unfortunately, it was Lizzie Borden’s heart. _ **-“BB”-** _ ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3152 "2025-06-29T20:25:47Z")
Early Cyberman concept. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3153 "2025-06-29T20:52:12Z")
Weed control in Mirkwood needed a special set of skills. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2025, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3154 "2025-06-29T23:48:10Z")
This was tough. I liked all of them. I thought about giving it to @Dr.Winston_OBoogie - but that would have meant two winning entries in a row about flinging poop. I couldn’t do that to this august body. I decided @Slithy_Tove deserves credit both for his scholarship and outright plagiarism of L. Frank Baum himself. Take it away, Mr. Tove. > [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > “You people with hearts have something to guide you, and need never do wrong; but I have no heart, and so I must be very careful.” (Directly from Baum’s text, and it still works) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3155 "2025-06-30T00:09:36Z")
Thank you Kent. As for this propaganda poster, I wholeheartedly welcome flung poo: [![](https://www.meisterdrucke.us/kunstwerke/1260px/Frank%20Dadd%20-%20The%20Veterans%20Farewell%201914%20%20-%20%28MeisterDrucke-145167%29.jpg) ](https://www.meisterdrucke.us/kunstwerke/1260px/Frank%20Dadd%20-%20The%20Veterans%20Farewell%201914%20%20-%20%28MeisterDrucke-145167%29.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3156 "2025-06-30T00:11:50Z")
“I only wish you were young enough to go for me!” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3157 "2025-06-30T00:14:37Z")
“I only wish you were young enough to be aborted.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3158 "2025-06-30T00:16:00Z")
Tom was pretty sure Santa would steal his job and fuck his wife by the time his boat arrived in France. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3159 "2025-06-30T00:18:16Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > flung poo [obviously not an entry] The shittiest of all the martial arts. Monkeys are the only known practioners remaining. [onae] ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2025, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/3160 "2025-06-30T01:24:26Z")
“Wait a minute! You aren’t from the Salvation Army!!!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717.md?page=157) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717.md?page=159)