# A Genuine Caption Contest (Part 2) **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 4, 2024, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717 "2024-07-04T12:49:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 259
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5161 "2026-06-27T22:50:45Z")
Now, this one’s the T-bone, this one’s the tri-tip, this one’s the brisket, and over here’s the wing. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5162 "2026-06-28T03:02:37Z")
“After you finish practicing on him, hurry up and paint the bar over the pretty lady’s bare boobs, so she can turn around.” ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5163 "2026-06-28T03:31:47Z")
> **[The Female of the Species - Kipling](https://www.potw.org/archive/potw96.html)** > When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Hurons and Choctaws, > They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws. > 'Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale. > For the female of the species is more deadly than the male. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5164 "2026-06-28T04:25:18Z")
[not in play] Ooh, Kipling has joined the contest! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5165 "2026-06-28T10:00:44Z")
_Okay, the cage is the Piñata, and once we finish decorating you as a fuckton of candy, you’ll get inside and we’ll bring the kids out to start hitting it._ ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2026, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5166 "2026-06-28T10:34:04Z")
The tribe has yet to learn how to play tic-tac-toe properly. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2026, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5167 "2026-06-30T01:24:15Z")
The winner… > [@DrDeth](#): > > How Graham Platner got his tatoo. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2026, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5168 "2026-06-30T02:44:45Z")
[![](https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/vintage-bizarre-historical-photos-12.webp) ](https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/vintage-bizarre-historical-photos-12.webp) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2026, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5169 "2026-06-30T02:58:06Z")
“I’ve heard of ‘shooting from the hip,’ Pedro, but what do you call this?” ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2026, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5170 "2026-06-30T04:02:58Z")
This technique only works as long as a stallion doesn’t take a sudden interest in the mare. If a stallion does take interest, shoot the stallion before he gets there. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2026, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5171 "2026-06-30T12:10:35Z")
The budget for this James Bond knockoff was so meager, they replaced his signature vehicle with Ass-ton Martin. ---
**Author:** ![Ferris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ferris/32/11573_2.png) [@Ferris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferris)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2026, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5172 "2026-06-30T20:27:35Z")
“Horse won’t start? Use our patented ‘Bolt Action’ pistol!” ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2026, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5173 "2026-06-30T22:42:22Z")
Horse: Be careful where that hammer falls, pardner. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2026, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5174 "2026-07-01T00:53:35Z")
It would have been the perfect hiding place for an ambush, if he hadn’t left his hat for everyone to see. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2026, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5175 "2026-07-01T02:06:42Z")
> [@Oly](#): > > Horse: Be careful where that hammer falls, pardner. Winner winner- your turn! > [@Ferris](#): > > “Horse won’t start? Use our patented ‘Bolt Action’ pistol!” This was a close second. ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2026, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5176 "2026-07-01T12:01:47Z")
Goooooooaaaaaaalllll!!! [![](https://media.tenor.com/Hmp-qASwisQAAAAC/funny-fail.gif) ](https://media.tenor.com/Hmp-qASwisQAAAAC/funny-fail.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2026, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5177 "2026-07-01T17:10:28Z")
EXCLUSIVE! The untold story of how #21 won $100,000 by betting on his own team to lose ---
**Author:** ![iamatractorboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iamatractorboy/32/21261_2.png) [@iamatractorboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamatractorboy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2026, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5178 "2026-07-01T17:35:22Z")
(Not my attempt) I remember watching this match. That is Michy Batshuayi, playing for Belgium. Ironically, he couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo but he could hit his own face. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2026, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5179 "2026-07-01T18:37:51Z")
That’s using your head- whoops, no. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2026, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717/5180 "2026-07-01T20:17:36Z")
Every sport has their own “Wrong Way” Riegels. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717.md?page=258) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-genuine-caption-contest-part-2/1003717.md?page=260)