# A giant sarcastic robot or weaponized sex doll...what a great idea **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 10, 2017, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834 "2017-01-10T20:34:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/1 "2017-01-10T20:34:18Z")
If movies have taught me anything, in the future, robot\* design will converge on two different models: “Male” robots possessing a dry or sarcastic wit: The T-800 Terminator TARS from Interstellar (referenced in the title) K-2SO from Star Wars: Rogue One Marvin from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Pretty sure R2-D2 had a bit of an attitude or, alternatively, “Female” robots that outwardly look like supermodels and possessed of superhuman combat abilities, even integral weapon systems: Major Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell Pris from Blade Runner Fembots from Austin Powers The TX from Terminator 3 Cylon models 3,6 and 8 from Battlestar Galactica Armistice from Westword Is it me, or does designing robots that are either kind of a jerk or very pretty killing machines seem like a bad idea? - Also include cyborgs, replicants, and other forms of artificial humans ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/2 "2017-01-10T20:39:25Z")
After Asimov published his Three Laws of Robotics, most of that nonsense should have ended. He even managed stories that involved conflicts of The Three Laws that didn’t actually violate them. ---
**Author:** ![Trancephalic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trancephalic/32/380_2.png) [@Trancephalic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trancephalic)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/3 "2017-01-10T20:56:51Z")
Well, there’s Dot Matrix who falls squarely in the first category. Also, that robot from the Robin Williams’ Flubber. Also, Eve from Wall-E. And conversely there’s Gigolo Joe from A.I. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/4 "2017-01-10T21:03:23Z")
For popular mass media, the robot has to follow a new law of robotics: a robot must be entertaining to the audience, whether or not that conflicts with the other laws of robotics. That said, I could actually see a market for a sarcastic robot. Suppose you could take Siri, and put in a “Gilbert Gottfried” mode. Okay, diluted a little, but still snarky. It could be fun! “Where is the nearest Chase Bank ATM?” “When are you gonna learn to budget?” “Location please.” “All right, Sixth and Juniper. And there’s a liquor store next door, so you’ll save time!” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/5 "2017-01-10T21:19:12Z")
It seems perfectly logical to me that female cyborgs and uploads would be essentially universally beautiful; that’s exactly what most women _want_ to be, given the chance to custom order a body they are rather unlikely to choose to be ugly. And other morphologically female robots are likely to look pretty for the same reasons fictional ones are. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2017, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/6 "2017-01-10T23:42:05Z")
Or? This is AMERICA! We deserve both! A gigantic weaponized, sex-bot AND a sarcastic servant. “You call THAT a penis? Talk about a _short-circuit_! Here, bend-over, allow my DrillMaster 9000™ to show you the TRUE meaning of screwing. And stop your blubbering, it will only hurt once!” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/7 "2017-01-11T03:30:02Z")
Technically speaking Major Kusanagi is a cyborg,\* not a robot—she still had a human brain. Or at least, according to various sources, _part_ of her original brain. Pris, too, might be misplaced on the list, as the Replicants are seemingly biological, not truly mechanical. Possibly closer to the “robots” of R.U.R. who were assembled, but out of artificially grown organic tissue. And if you’re including cyborgs, how would you count Seven of Nine? Sexy cyborg lady, arguably integral combat abilities, _and_ somewhat a dry wit. \*Well, so is the T-800, but his organic components were just a camouflage “shell.” ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/8 "2017-01-11T04:23:01Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > If movies have taught me anything, in the future, robot\* design will converge on two different models: > > “Male” robots possessing a dry or sarcastic wit: > The T-800 Terminator > TARS from Interstellar (referenced in the title) > K-2SO from Star Wars: Rogue One > Marvin from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy > Pretty sure R2-D2 had a bit of an attitude > > or, alternatively, > > “Female” robots that outwardly look like supermodels and possessed of superhuman combat abilities, even integral weapon systems: > Major Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell > Pris from Blade Runner > Fembots from Austin Powers > The TX from Terminator 3 > Cylon models 3,6 and 8 from Battlestar Galactica > Armistice from Westword > Is it me, or does designing robots that are either kind of a jerk or very pretty killing machines seem like a bad idea? > > - Also include cyborgs, replicants, and other forms of artificial humans Your going to have to add Aida and Maybot from Agents of shield now. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/9 "2017-01-11T04:58:41Z")
> [@Trancephalic](#): > > Well, there’s Dot Matrix who falls squarely in the first category. As does Galatea but only after having Andrew hang around for some time. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/10 "2017-01-11T20:21:33Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > For popular mass media, the robot has to follow a new law of robotics: a robot must be entertaining to the audience, whether or not that conflicts with the other laws of robotics. > > That said, I could actually see a market for a sarcastic robot. Suppose you could take Siri, and put in a “Gilbert Gottfried” mode. Okay, diluted a little, but still snarky. It could be fun! > > “Where is the nearest Chase Bank ATM?” > “When are you gonna learn to budget?” > “Location please.” > “All right, Sixth and Juniper. And there’s a liquor store next door, so you’ll save time!” I don’t know it’s true but I heard that they hired John Cleese to narrate the directions of some GPS a few years back. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/11 "2017-01-11T20:52:14Z")
Robot design as mentioned in the OP is somewhat analogous to the general requirements for science fiction life in space. The men where huge bulky pressure suits, the women wear the most abbreviated harem girl outfits. Note cases like Barbarella where women who must wear a pressure suit remove it as soon as possible and then wear nothing. The sexes are affected in very different ways by space and the future. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/12 "2017-01-11T20:56:13Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > I don’t know it’s true but I heard that they hired John Cleese to narrate the directions of some GPS a few years back. [OMG I want one!](https://www.tomtom.com/en_gb/sat-nav/maps-services/shop/navigation-voices/john-cleese/) ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2017, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/13 "2017-01-11T22:54:32Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > That said, I could actually see a market for a sarcastic robot. Suppose you could take Siri, and put in a “Gilbert Gottfried” mode. Okay, diluted a little, but still snarky. It could be fun! When my cousin asked Siri, “What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?”, the response was, “The last person who asked me that was hurled into a chasm!” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/14 "2017-01-13T21:15:22Z")
> [@Declan](#): > > Your going to have to add Aida and Maybot from Agents of shield now. What? No Hal 9000? Exceptionally polite totally logical killing machine. And it kills by simple things like … locking doors. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/15 "2017-01-13T21:42:58Z")
You forgot the third major type: “Child” robots, with simple shapes, large heads and eyes (if present), simple language and emotions. Often clumsy even if occasionally competent in some area: R2-D2 C3P0 Wall-E The (previous series’) Doctor’s K-9, etc. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/16 "2017-01-13T22:01:48Z")
> [@Trancephalic](#): > > And conversely there’s Gigolo Joe from A.I. I LOVED that guy… Wait, pretend you didn’t hear that. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/17 "2017-01-13T22:16:49Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > When my cousin asked Siri, “What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?”, the response was, “The last person who asked me that was hurled into a chasm!” Google recently integrated their ‘OK Google’ voice assistant into Google Maps, and if while navigating you ask if you’re there yet repeatedly it eventually threatens not to stop for ice cream if you ask again. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/18 "2017-01-13T22:56:38Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > After Asimov published his Three Laws of Robotics, most of that nonsense should have ended. > . Why? The Three Laws were Asimov’s shtick. I don’t see why other writers have to copy them. Let them find their own story hooks. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2017, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/19 "2017-01-13T23:07:44Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Why? The Three Laws were Asimov’s shtick. I don’t see why other writers have to copy them. Let them find their own story hooks. In the BBC series _Humans_, the “Asimov circuits” are a vital part of the “synths”. But apparently they can be defeated with a download. By the way, it seems to me that Emily Berrington’s Niska is a sarcastic weaponized sex doll (though normal sized.) ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2017, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834/20 "2017-01-14T02:01:06Z")
Google Earth used to have this thing where, if you ask how to get from the US to the UK, at one point it would tell you to swim across the Atlantic Ocean. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-giant-sarcastic-robot-or-weaponized-sex-doll-what-a-great-idea/776834.md?page=2)