# A gift for people mourning over umkay **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355 "2012-06-26T15:37:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/1 "2012-06-26T15:37:47Z")
I myself don’t really care about her/him/it/them one way or the other, partly because I never got involved in either of the threads but mostly because I’m a selfish git. Nonetheless, I thought some of y’all might appreciate a link to a page about an [actual comely blonde wheelchair-bound lass](http://brianawalker.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/2 "2012-06-26T15:46:45Z")
“This girl is a fake. A fucking goldbricker. This girl fucking walks! I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life!” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/3 "2012-06-26T15:51:04Z")
> [@Bootis](#): > > “This girl is a fake. A fucking goldbricker. This girl fucking walks! I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life!” Whom are you quoting? ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/4 "2012-06-26T15:52:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Whom are you quoting? The Big Lebowski, I believe (paraphrased). ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/5 "2012-06-26T16:00:16Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > The Big Lebowski, I believe (paraphrased). Correct. For some reason that scene’s been popping into my head a lot lately 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/6 "2012-06-26T16:01:46Z")
> [@Bootis](#): > > Correct. For some reason that scene’s been popping into my head a lot lately 🙂 I don’t watch Jeff Goldblum movies unless I’m given some assurance that he will be murdered by the end of it, or unless there’s at least one hot naked redhead in it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/7 "2012-06-26T16:03:07Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t watch Jeff Goldblum movies unless I’m given some assurance that he will be murdered by the end of it, or unless there’s at least one hot naked redhead in it. That’s very interesting. Have you seen The Big Lebowski? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/8 "2012-06-26T16:07:53Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > that’s very interesting. > > Have you seen the big lebowski? WHAT DID I JUST SAY? stupid board ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/9 "2012-06-26T16:08:34Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t watch Jeff Goldblum movies unless I’m given some assurance that he will be murdered by the end of it, or unless there’s at least one hot naked redhead in it. Well…there is no Jeff Goldblum in The Big Lebowski, but coincidentally enough, there is a naked red-head. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/10 "2012-06-26T16:08:42Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t watch Jeff Goldblum movies unless I’m given some assurance that he will be murdered by the end of it, or unless there’s at least one hot naked redhead in it. Agreed. Um, sans the naked redhead. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/11 "2012-06-26T16:09:34Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > That’s very interesting. > > Have you seen The Big Lebowski? I’d say probably not, unless there’s a dead Goldblum or nekkid redhead in it. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/12 "2012-06-26T16:10:18Z")
Thanks, Skald. I pretty much stayed out of the whole **umkay** thing from the beginning, though I did make a brief post in the death-notice thread on the assumption that it was genuine, but I’m sure we all agree that people who go around attracting attention with a tissue of lies on the Internet are tedious in the extreme, although possibly not as tedious as this sentence, which it seems I ought to bring to a close, if I can, which is easier said than done now that it’s got a head of steam up, but I’m sure I’ll find a way, even if I just have to yell “That’s enough!”, which usually works, though not this time, and frankly, just repeating myself would be silly, while admitting that I’ve done sillier, just not lately. Phew. Did it. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/13 "2012-06-26T16:11:23Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Well…there is no Jeff Goldblum in The Big Lebowski, but coincidentally enough, there is a naked red-head. You’re right; I meant Jeff Bridges. Who’s the naked redhead, and is it a she, and if so is she hot? Because if it’s not Julianne Moore I’m not interested. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/14 "2012-06-26T16:13:34Z")
An oriental rug would make a nice present–as long as it ties the room together and nobody pisses on it. ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/15 "2012-06-26T16:14:34Z")
> [@Wargamer](#): > > I’d say probably not, unless there’s a dead Goldblum or nekkid redhead in it. Well, like **bouv** mentioned, there is both no Jeff Goldblum ( a missing JG could easily be a presume dead JG) _and_ a naked readhead ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/16 "2012-06-26T16:15:00Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > Well…there is no Jeff Goldblum in The Big Lebowski, but coincidentally enough, there is a naked red-head. Yeah, he was in Jurrasic Lebowski for Pete’s sake. Don’t you people know anything about movies? ---
**Author:** ![Bootis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Bootis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootis)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/17 "2012-06-26T16:17:16Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Yeah, he was in Jurrasic Lebowski for Pete’s sake. > > Don’t you people know anything about movies? He was actually pretty good in the Big Fly ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/18 "2012-06-26T16:21:38Z")
I forgot my mantra. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/19 "2012-06-26T16:25:56Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I don’t watch Jeff Goldblum movies unless I’m given some assurance that he will be murdered by the end of it, or unless there’s at least one hot naked redhead in it. You must have been quite irate at the end of Jurassic Park. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355/20 "2012-06-26T16:26:23Z")
How does that girl fit her wheelchair into the tanning booth? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gift-for-people-mourning-over-umkay/626355.md?page=2)