# A Girl Can Invite A Boy Over For Dinner, But She Can't Ask Him To Take Her Out **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 15, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599 "2011-06-15T20:11:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/1 "2011-06-15T20:11:43Z")
I was watching _Father Knows Best_ and Betty is trying to get her hooks into a young man. Then Father is tired and doesn’t want to have company for dinner. But Betty explains that this will be their first date and says: _A girl can invite a boy over for dinner, but she can’t ask him to take her out_ Fine advice for the 1950s but does it hold true today? So can a girl in high school ask a boy out? Of course they can but is it sociably acceptable to do so now-a-days? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/2 "2011-06-15T20:16:20Z")
More so than it was then but it’s still rare. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/3 "2011-06-15T20:26:03Z")
When you are told all your life that men will gladly have sex and that women can get a man at the drop of a hat, and then you ask someone on a date, and they say no, it’s pretty devastating. It’s not until much later that you learn that neither of those things are true. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/4 "2011-06-15T20:47:24Z")
Guys don’t “take me out” anywhere. We “go out” together. So yes, it’s fine for a woman to do the asking, assuming she and the male approach the situation as equals (both intend to pay for their own dinner/drinks). But it would probably be rude to ask a guy out and expect him to pick up your tab. I wouldn’t know, since I always pay my own way. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/5 "2011-06-15T20:49:45Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > When you are told all your life that men will gladly have sex and that women can get a man at the drop of a hat, and then you ask someone on a date, and they say no, it’s pretty devastating. > > It’s not until much later that you learn that neither of those things are true. Uhmm, I’m pretty sure that one of your statements is true. Most men will gladly have sex. The part that you left out is that they won’t gladly have sex with just anybody. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/6 "2011-06-15T20:50:03Z")
I don’t think anyone can ask someone else to take them out. You can offer to take someone out or to make them a meal, but it seems gauche to ask someone to buy you dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/7 "2011-06-15T20:59:37Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I don’t think anyone can ask someone else to take them out. You can offer to take someone out or to make them a meal, but it seems gauche to ask someone to buy you dinner. There’s a third possibility here: you can ask someone out on the understanding that each will pay their own way. That’s more likely to happen with friends than with possible “dates”, and it’s also more likely if the girl does the asking than if the boy does the asking, but “going dutch” is perfectly acceptable social behaviour. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/8 "2011-06-15T21:00:48Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I don’t think anyone can ask someone else to take them out. You can offer to take someone out or to make them a meal, but it seems gauche to ask someone to buy you dinner. Right. The message isn’t that a girl can’t ask a boy out, it’s that a girl can’t ask a boy to TAKE her out. OK: “Bobby, can I take you out to dinner on Saturday?” Not OK then, not OK now: “Bobby, howsabout you buy me dinner on Saturday?” ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/9 "2011-06-15T21:49:04Z")
Usually, if I want to go out with a guy and he isn’t being forward and asking, I’ll say, “Hey, want to grab dinner XYZWHENEVER?” Then, I always bring enough money to cover both meals (because, I mean, I did invite him), but usually the guy will insist on paying anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-girl-can-invite-a-boy-over-for-dinner-but-she-cant-ask-him-to-take-her-out/585599/10 "2011-06-16T11:39:35Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > There’s a third possibility here: you can ask someone out on the understanding that each will pay their own way. That’s more likely to happen with friends than with possible “dates”, and it’s also more likely if the girl does the asking than if the boy does the asking, but “going dutch” is perfectly acceptable social behaviour. Yeah, works too. I agree that that’s more something friends would do than dates.