# A gnat is buzzing around my head.  Excuse me while I swat it.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [August 6, 2000, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357 "2000-08-06T23:41:22Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\
**Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/1 "2000-08-06T23:41:22Z")

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**Altair\_8800** said:

> [@](#):
>
> It means two things.
> 
> 1. If you have such a problem with technology, you ought to just shun it altogether and move in with the Amish.
> 
> 2. You should investigate a creative writing course.

**Altair** , you seem to have no respect for my abilities. Perhaps this is because of my self-deprecating manner. Maybe it’s because I shy away from a fight, figuring everyone’s opinion has some merit. Or, maybe, it’s because you are a jerk.

Let me tell you a story.

A couple of months ago a stranger named dropzone rode into Dopeville looking scruffy and tired from long years on the road. He was looking for a quiet little town where his reputation had not preceded him, a place where he could settle down and make a home for himself and his family.

Dropzone prospered in Dopeville. He bought a little spread on the outskirts of town and spent his evenings flirting with the ladies and chatting with the men. Life seemed to be good for him. He had put down his gun and tried to live a peaceful life, one like regular folks lived, but he knew that it couldn’t always be that way. There would always be some two-bit punk, not knowing any better and trying to make a reputation of his own, who would call him out.

It happened one Sunday. A kid—he was just a kid, a cocky child, all full of himself and fancying himself a gunslinger—said something stupid. Dropzone realized, reluctantly, that he had to take care of the kid before he hurt the feelings of somebody sensitive. He sighed sadly as he lifted the well-oiled holster off its peg over the fireplace and strapped it around his ample middle. He drew the Colt .44, sensing its balance point, and set it softly back in the holster, turned slightly from its normal position to allow it to be drawn faster.

Dropzone’s eyes narrowed to slits as he stepped into the street and said, “We draw on three.”

One . . . two . . . three

Before you next question my skills, I would like you to do something. Learn to use a Computer-Aided Design software package. CAD software strikes fear into the hearts of smart IS people because its complexity has no counterpart in the other software they support. Not networks, not programming languages, and, especially, not word processors or spreadsheets. Most IS people know better than to mess with the engineers. They ignore us for fear that management will force them to support us.

Become an expert in it to the point where you are supporting a group of users: programming, setting up their workstations, and developing procedures. All the while produce as well and as much of the day-to-day work as the best of the users, while being an expert in the company’s product so you can be technical support for the sales department and the customers.

Have you done that? Now do it in another four industries and with another four CAD packages, each as different in its methods and execution as any two programming languages you can name. Then do it without a computer; by hand and in ink.

And have you done that? Good. Now you can insult me for not wasting my time or brain cells on alphabetizing my favorites.

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**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/2 "2000-08-07T01:27:04Z")

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Very well put!!! Mr Altair 8800 is only a sophomore in high school, according to his web page, but already he is smarter than everybody else.

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**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/3 "2000-08-07T08:54:23Z")

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Yeah, well put. Everyone knows you have to be a _college_ sophomore like me 'fore you’re smarter than everyone else.

Actually, you have to be _me_ 'fore you’re smarter than everyone else 😃

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**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/4 "2000-08-07T09:06:30Z")

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Could someone post a link to this little gunfight at the CAD corral, please? I get the gist, but a link would be nice.

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**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/5 "2000-08-07T10:27:51Z")

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dropzone is right. CAD= Scary, scary program…

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**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/6 "2000-08-07T13:20:44Z")

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One of the most hilarious threads I’ve read in a long time!

[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=33212](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=33212)

**Techchick,** don’t you just love getting free tech advice from a high school kid? 😃

Hey, **Altair,** when you’re done over there, couldja come over here and tell me what you think of these drapes…? And as long as I’ve got you here, do ya think the Better Half was right to go with the Dodge Caravan, or should it have been a Plymouth Voyager?

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**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/7 "2000-08-07T13:27:07Z")

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P.S. Golly, **Dropzone,** why are you bothering with this? Waste of bullets, pilgrim. And isn’t there a proverb about “shooting a rabbit with an elephant gun”? You wasted that whole lovely cowboy riff, on THIS? They must take gnats real serious, where you’re from. Where I’m from, we just go inside when the bugs get bad.

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**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/8 "2000-08-07T13:45:42Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> CAD software strikes fear into the hearts of smart IS people because its complexity has no counterpart in the other software they support. Not networks, not programming languages, and, especially, not word processors or spreadsheets. Most IS people know better than to mess with the engineers. They ignore us for fear that management will force them to support us.

Imagine my face when a former boss told me (as the Network Administrator) to LEARN Autocad so I could support the engineering staff on it (they didn’t want to pay the company). I worked day and night with an engineer trying to get the hang of it, just to provide support and assistance to them. Needless to say, I gave up and was no better a month later then I was at the beginning. Yikes!

Zette

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**Author:** ![Altair\_8800](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4491bb/32.png) [@Altair\_8800](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Altair_8800)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/9 "2000-08-07T16:52:24Z")

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If you did a bit more research, you would learn that I AM A SOPHOMORE IN COLLEGE. At North Carolina State University, no less.

Dropzone, you can kiss my ass.

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**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/10 "2000-08-07T17:05:52Z")

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And with no research at all, I have found that you are an ankle-biting prick, with people skills comparable to those of a dead gnu.

Here’s a quarter, call someone who, much like the rest of us, doesn’t care.

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**Author:** ![Altair\_8800](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4491bb/32.png) [@Altair\_8800](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Altair_8800)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/11 "2000-08-07T17:06:55Z")

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And don’t you think for a minute that you have any sort of responsibility toward me. If you don’t like what I say, the why the hell don’t you just IGNORE it?

You seem to think you’re better than me just because of a little CAD experience. I’m sorry to hear that.

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**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/12 "2000-08-07T17:10:50Z")

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Why don’t we ignore it? Well, this is a public message board, and you’ve shown yourself to be an ass. And presonally, the only reason I think I’m better than you, is that I’ve never posted a comment like this

> [@](#):
>
> MICROSOFT FOREVER!!!

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**Author:** ![Altair\_8800](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4491bb/32.png) [@Altair\_8800](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Altair_8800)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/13 "2000-08-07T17:13:58Z")

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And I was under the impression that you were all nice people.

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**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/14 "2000-08-07T17:15:00Z")

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Boy did you get that one wrong. Yet another strike against you, bad judge of character.

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**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/15 "2000-08-07T17:17:58Z")

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No, pal, I **KNOW** I’m better than you because I have more technical skills in my left little finger, better writing ability in my right little finger, and better people skills in the tip of my nose than you will **ever** have at your current rate. I was willing to cut you some slack when I thought you were sophomore in high school. A little obnoxious superiority is to be expected. But a sophomore in college? You better get a clue about how to treat your betters before you enter the working world or you will be in for a rude awakening.

> [@](#):
>
> Dropzone, you can kiss my ass.

> [@](#):
>
> Up yours, so-called tech chick.

And learn how to insult people, willya?

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**Author:** ![Altair\_8800](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4491bb/32.png) [@Altair\_8800](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Altair_8800)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/16 "2000-08-07T17:18:25Z")

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Can I ask, then, what is wrong with you people?

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**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/17 "2000-08-07T17:20:53Z")

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We are kind, polite people who respect each other and expect the same from you.

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**Author:** ![Myrr21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Myrr21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrr21)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/18 "2000-08-07T17:23:23Z")

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With a name like Altair\_8800, you’re going to tell people how to use their computer? Pardon me while I dissolve into laughter :rolleyes:

Twit.

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**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/19 "2000-08-07T17:29:25Z")

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You should check out his Web site. For someone who considers himself a computer guru, Altair\_8800(what a name-might as well call himself Tandy\_1100)has a poor eye for Web design.

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**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\
**Post date:** [August 7, 2000, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357/20 "2000-08-07T17:32:50Z")

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Now, let’s not get on him for having an appreciation for classic computers. I share that interest.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-gnat-is-buzzing-around-my-head-excuse-me-while-i-swat-it/28357.md?page=2)
