# A God Am I **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 10, 2014, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000 "2014-10-10T22:53:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/1 "2014-10-10T22:53:12Z")
So, you’re flying your Cessna in the South Pacific when your eye is caught by a breathtaking solar eclipse. So much so that you take your eye off the ball and plunge your plane into the sea. Oops. You wake up on a beach having swallowed several mouthfuls of seawater, collecting a few broken ribs and assorted cuts and bruises. Kicking yourself for not filing a flight plan, you’re down to your sodden skivvies and wondering just how deep the shit you’re in is when you hear movement. A group of the island’s natives approaches you as you stagger to your feet and throw themselves prostate before you, offering you gifts of food and clothing. They are an uncontacted peoples of a hundred or so, their language isn’t complicated, and you put together that they have an ancient mystical prophecy; “When the sun is taken from the sky, a god will descend from the heavens to the earth.” They’ve seen the solar eclipse, your plane go down and you wash up on their beach. Uh-oh. But do you try and disabuse them of their notion or not? If not, what kind of god are you - do you lay down some commandments or soak up their food and worship? Inspired by that episode of TNG [where Picard is mistaken for a god by lumpy forehead aliens of the week](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMyLGxoorBU) and by [‘cargo cults’](https://www.princeton.edu/~achaney/tmve/wiki100k/docs/Cargo_cult.html) in the Pacific. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/2 "2014-10-10T23:20:54Z")
Your description reads like the fate of the Big Bad, Randall Flagg, at the very end of Stephen King’s _The Stand_.\* Flagg gets blown up by an atom bomb in Las Vegas and then rematerializes on a South Pacific island where the natives start to worship him just like in the OP. So I would not want to emulate Flagg… eeeww. \*the latest expanded edition Or if it was like bailing out into the Amazonian forest in _At Play in the Fields of the Lord_, it would be worth it to play the deity if it could help protect the rainforest from destruction. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/3 "2014-10-10T23:39:16Z")
Ha, purely coincidental as I’ve never read it - set it on an island rather than a landmass so you couldn’t just do a runner and have to interact. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2014, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/4 "2014-10-11T00:07:54Z")
I dunno. I’m an inherently honest person, and I’m not sure I could keep up the goddess thing. I think it would be best not to try. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2014, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/5 "2014-10-11T02:24:09Z")
Mistakes? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/6 "2014-10-12T10:35:38Z")
If I can put together the bit about the prophecy that I’m coming as a god, I can probably figure out what it is they expect of me as a god. If they don’t expect anything in particular (and don’t view me as an omnimax-type deity), I’m happy to let them believe that I’m just a god kickin’ it with them for a while. On the other hand, if they have specific requirements of their god, I will endeavor to persuade them that they misinterpreted the prophecy, and that I am simply the god’s advance man, if you will. Particularly if the chances of my return to civilization are remote, I will be making it known that God will be showing up in 50 years. I will also be making it known that when he does arrive, his attitude toward them is going to be based upon how nice they were to me during those 50 years. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/7 "2014-10-12T11:55:37Z")
I’d disbuse them of the notion I was a god(dess). As a Christian myself it simply would be impossible to pose as someone to be worshipped. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/8 "2014-10-12T12:08:51Z")
“My new friends, I am not a god.” “Then we must make a soup bowl out of your skull.” “Did I say, ‘not?’ I meant, ‘absolutely.’ Common mistake in my language.” ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/9 "2014-10-12T12:26:00Z")
Not to fight the hypothetical, but at what point are they going to ask you outright whether you’re claiming to be a God? In the meantime, I’d try to teach them some basics of health, science, maths etc. Fuck the prime directive. I’d figure I was contributing enough to earn some food and an assistant or two, but I would accept no more than that. And of course I’d be working on ways to contact / find my way back to civilization (hence the need for someone else to be hunter-gathering for me / help me make stuff). ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/10 "2014-10-12T12:43:07Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > throw themselves \*\*prostate \*\*before you, offering you gifts of food and clothing. Worst. Gifts. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/11 "2014-10-12T12:43:44Z")
I’d correct them, even if it leads to death. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/12 "2014-10-12T12:58:57Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Mistakes? I knew it was an error to speak in generalities. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > If I can put together the bit about the prophecy that I’m coming as a god, I can probably figure out what it is they expect of me as a god. If they don’t expect anything in particular (and don’t view me as an omnimax-type deity), I’m happy to let them believe that I’m just a god kickin’ it with them for a while. You don’t have to go out and fight bears or anything and they don’t expect you to solve all their problems, their prophecy only says ‘a god’, it doesn’t make any promises about how useful said divinity may be. Prophecies are conveniently vague that way. > [@Mijin](#): > > Not to fight the hypothetical, but at what point are they going to ask you outright whether you’re claiming to be a God? You don’t ask the almighty for his ID! > [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Worst. Gifts. Ever. Hey, don’t judge their cultural mores just because they are different to ours! Also, in the poll title ‘kneed’ is because if you want food they might kneed bread before you and er…Ok, damn autocorrect, meant kneel and prost_r_ate. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/13 "2014-10-12T13:44:45Z")
I wouldn’t correct them. If I fulfilled all the elements of their prophecy to their satisfaction, who’s to say I’m _not_ the god they’re waiting for? I’d be as benevolent and fair as I could manage. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/14 "2014-10-12T15:52:22Z")
I can’t believe no one has quoted this yet: Gozer: Are you a God? Dr Ray Stantz: No. Gozer: Then… DIE! Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say “YES”! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/15 "2014-10-12T16:39:04Z")
Play God, tell them my powers are gone due to the eclipse and will only return if I can return to the mainland before the next eclipse. Make a lot of promises about the gifts they will receive when I return to the mainland, such as a simple device that will slice, dice, and chop coconut meat for them. ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/16 "2014-10-12T17:47:29Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Play God, tell them my powers are gone due to the eclipse and will only return if I can return to the mainland before the next eclipse. Make a lot of promises about the gifts they will receive when I return to the mainland, such as a simple device that will slice, dice, and chop coconut meat for them. What does God need with a sailboat? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2014, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/17 "2014-10-14T11:08:22Z")
> [@74westy](#): > > What does God need with a sailboat? \*You know what’s goin’ on down there in that Bermuda Triangle? Elvis needs boats!\* -Mojo Nixon ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2014, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/18 "2014-10-14T11:58:15Z")
I’d correct them, but not if it were suicide to do so. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2014, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/19 "2014-10-14T12:29:47Z")
They say I’m a god, who am I to correct them. Bring me my food and drink. And that young lady right over there. Yes, a good start. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2014, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/20 "2014-10-14T12:50:18Z")
I can’t think of a single thing that I would have to offer them that they would value, since I am wearing nothing but my underwear. It is certain that they know more about living in this island environment than I do. Basically, the question (in my case) is whether or not I want to exploit their superstition to be a parasitic drain on their tribe. No, I don’t. At most, I might ask them to help me construct a raft so that I can be on my way and out of their lives. If I get the impression that if they don’t think I am a god they will kill me, I will maintain that fiction to get the raft. Long term, leeching off a primitive tribe doesn’t offer anything that I want. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000.md?page=2)