# A God Am I **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 10, 2014, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000 "2014-10-10T22:53:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/21 "2014-10-14T19:06:20Z")
I’d do what I always do – Cowards have many Refuges. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2014, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/22 "2014-10-14T19:16:57Z")
Prophet is really the way to go. That way no one expects you to go volcano surfing or be bitten by venomous island snakes but they still need to take care of you. Gods may (depending on their faith) be above earthly needs but prophets can still want a nice palm leaf shack with hookers and blackjack. ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/23 "2014-10-15T11:32:28Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I’d disbuse them of the notion I was a god(dess). As a Christian myself it simply would be impossible to pose as someone to be worshipped. According to The psalmist and John 10 all are gods or at least the Jewish men.Jesus backs this up in John 10 as his claim to having God for a father. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/24 "2014-10-15T11:37:15Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I’d disbuse them of the notion I was a god(dess). As a Christian myself it simply would be impossible to pose as someone to be worshipped. Hernán Cortés, who certainly would have self-identified as Christian, thinks you’re no fun. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/25 "2014-10-15T12:03:18Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Worst. Gifts. Ever. Not only that. [QUOTE=OP] Poll Options \*\*Kneed \*\*before Zod! If someone mistakes you for a god, do you correct them? [/QUOTE] I don’t wanna be kneed at all, regardless of whether Zod is in the audience. Unless I’m allowed to wear a really sturdy protective garment, and even then it would depend on who was doing the kneeing, and how hard they were likely to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/26 "2014-10-15T12:44:57Z")
This thread has some of the best typos ever. The ethical thing to do would be to tell them that you’re not a god, and hope that they will help you anyways. I am not an ethical person. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/27 "2014-10-15T13:29:42Z")
Hey, who’s to say I’m not a prophet. Human folklore and stories are full of guys who find out that they’re the savior late in the game. Maybe their prophecy was true and higher powers made my plane crash. Should I really assume that I alone know better than the whole island culture? Little bit of First World presumptuous, isn’t it? These are the sort of theological mysteries you can ponder while in the holy hammock, drinking rum out of a pineapple. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/28 "2014-10-15T13:45:27Z")
How hot and disease-free are the women? This is an important question 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/29 "2014-10-15T14:24:31Z")
> [@slaphead](#): > > Not only that. > I don’t wanna be kneed at all, regardless of whether Zod is in the audience. > > Unless I’m allowed to wear a really sturdy protective garment, and even then it would depend on who was doing the kneeing, and how hard they were likely to do it. Psst, post #12. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/30 "2014-10-15T16:29:41Z")
> [@Dorjan](#): > > How hot and disease-free are the women? This is an important question 😃 Yeah, that sums it up pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![oft\_wears\_hats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@oft\_wears\_hats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oft_wears_hats)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/31 "2014-10-15T16:52:25Z")
I like to think that I’d tell them the truth, but I know it would be much, much harder for me to do so if I believed that they were going to kill me if I did. As others have mentioned, acting as a prophet is probably a safer option than playing god. But from religious and ethical standpoints, it’s probably just as bad. I basically wouldn’t want to misrepresent myself as a divine figure, because I’m not. I also wouldn’t want to take advantage of the islanders. I’d probably go with some wishy-washy “I am a child of God, and He has sent me here.” Perhaps I could convince them that harming me could upset God, and to help me escape or to simply integrate as a member of their society of normal standing. Then again, who knows if I could really pull that off if I saw them sharpening their false-god-killing-knives. Another pertinent question: am I assured that if I _did_ pose as their god, that they weren’t planning on “removing” me from my earthly body? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/32 "2014-10-15T19:09:51Z")
> [@oft\_wears\_hats](#): > > Another pertinent question: am I assured that if I _did_ pose as their god, that they weren’t planning on “removing” me from my earthly body? There are no guarantees, they’re human after all, although what’s the point of elevating someone to godhood if you’re not going to listen to them? ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/33 "2014-10-15T23:22:46Z")
It would probably go like this for me: "Well, alrighty then! As your deity, you need to know that I am infallible, omnipotent, and omniscient. That means I am never wrong (not even incorrect), I can know and be aware of everything, and I’m able to do absolutely everything. What? Two and three are…oh, damn!" –G! > [@](#): > > OP: Kneed before Zod! > Slaphead:I don’t wanna be kneed at all, regardless of whether Zod is in the audience. No, not in the audience. It means Zod is next-in-line after you.:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/34 "2014-10-16T17:30:18Z")
You know about [this real-life example](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Philip_Movement), right? I mean, what else are you going to do to show the wife who’s really head of the household when she’s sovereign of seven countries and Defender of the Faith? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/35 "2014-10-16T17:53:54Z")
I am the great god Elvis’s exalted messenger. I am to be treated above all men. I will give you Elvis’s messages over time. But only if you do as I say. From that point on I will evangelize them into my very own made up religion ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2014, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000/36 "2014-10-17T15:27:49Z")
Mojo Nixon quotes on a Friday no less! You have made me happy! I think I’d go with the prophet thing and start working toward getting off island as soon as possible. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-god-am-i/701000.md?page=1)