# A Good Lesbian is Hard to Find **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 12, 2001, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714 "2001-04-12T14:34:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/21 "2001-04-16T23:11:05Z")
**Tib** , could the problem be that all the Fem Lesbians are out looking for Fem Lesbians? ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/22 "2001-04-16T23:17:08Z")
Well, yes - see, I _look_ femme but my mind is sort of guyish. As for verifying that I look femme…I guess I have to leave that to others. OhmyGod, unless you all think I am not femme?! Then I’ve had this totally weird idea about myself! What’s the word, my dopefest buds? Tibs. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/23 "2001-04-17T00:16:04Z")
Ah, my favorite type of lesbian. There needs to be more bi and straight women who think like men, though. Where, oh where are they all? ::hums “Where have all the Horny Straight Women Gone”:: ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/24 "2001-04-17T00:20:20Z")
> [@](#): > > What’s the word, my dopefest buds? AFAIC, Loudon Wainwright III said it best. Where **Tibs** is concerned: > [@](#): > > I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero. > I wouldn’t have to deal with men and all their come and go, > And all their yucky yucky facial hair and all their machis’mo! > I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero! > I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn’t straight. > I’d sleep with women only. Man, it would be great. > I’d throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn’t want to mate. > I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn’t straight! > I wish I were a lesbian, I’d like to be a dyke. > I’d sleep with k.d. lang. Mel Gibson, take a hike! > I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike. > I wish I was a lesbian, I’d like to be a dyke! > I wish I was a lesbian, that’s why this song is sung. > It shouldn’t really matter how somebody is hung. > Other things are more important- like how you use your tongue! > I wish I was a lesbian, that’s why this song is sung! > I DARE Casey Kasem to play this! > I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero. > I wouldn’t have to deal with men and all their come and go, > And all their yucky facial hair and all their machis’mo > (I hate that machis’mo!) > I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero! ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/25 "2001-04-17T00:31:24Z")
**Mercutio said** : “There needs to be more bi and straight women who think like men, though. Where, oh where are they all?” They tend to stay in the background with their mouths shut and their ears open, waiting for the right moment to strike and bring their prey down, yea, like the lion dost rend asunder the gazelle. Not that I’d know anything about THAT… _walks away, hands in pockets, whistling quietly…_ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/26 "2001-04-17T02:00:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by porcupine \* > \*\* … and who happens to live somewhere near me… \*\* So **NOW** she throws in the geographic requirements! Sheesh! [sub] and Chicago AIN’T that bad a place to be… hmmm…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/27 "2001-04-17T03:43:10Z")
Tibs, dear, I wonder if perhaps your problem might be one of environment? I mean, cosmopolitan as this fair burg is, you’re only dealing with a small sample. And as well over half the sample around here is composed of bottom-feeding, mouth-breathing, runny-lipped cousinfuckers (and those are the _straights_), I think your luck is bound take a few hits. Maybe you should consider expanding your prowling range? I mean, maybe the college scenes in Champaign or Bloomington might yield more positive results? An hour’s a little bit of a pain, sure, but if someone’d walk a mile for a Camel, I’d sure as shit drive an hour for a great rack. And hell, St. Louis is only a little more than an hour away, plus it doesn’t suck the way Springfield does. Anyway, good luck. As a long time veteran of the shitty singles scene around here, I can sympathize. ---
**Author:** ![DynoSaur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DynoSaur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DynoSaur)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/28 "2001-04-17T09:16:14Z")
You mean to say there’s somthing wrong with Springfield, Flyp? How could I possibly have missed that? Oh, wait…that’s right, I hadn’t. All the Springfield singles should go out cruising for chicks some night. And I’m sure we could find something to do after that 15-minute event was finished, too… Again, not that Springfield sucks…except that it does. ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrho12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b2d939/32.png) [@Pyrrho12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrho12)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/29 "2001-04-17T13:10:44Z")
I know quite a number of attractive, intelligent lesbian women that I could introduce you to. Unfortunately I live in South Korea. Fortunately there’s a position avaliable at my school, if you were desperate enough to move out here. Unfortunately all of the lesbians I know are (AFAIK) involved in stable relationships, so it would be pretty pointless anyhow. For some reason, I know more Canadian lesbians living in Korea than I do Canadian lesbians living in Canada. If that makes any sense. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/30 "2001-04-17T13:38:14Z")
Well, Tiburon, I don’t know how you act in person, but judging by the pictures on the SD People’s Pages, I’d say your femme enough to make straight guys walk into walls & trees and stuff like that. Can’t vouch for lesbians, though. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/31 "2001-04-17T15:48:07Z")
Wow, that was very nice, **Ethilrist**. Thank you. **Pyrrho12** , funny that you mention South Korea…that’s where my mother is from. Soooooo, what kind of position is this? ha ha ha. Anyone have any theories on why it’s so hard to find a femme lesbian? 😛 Tibs. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/32 "2001-04-17T22:54:45Z")
I just noticed Tib’s picture on the People Pages and all I can say is, VA VA VOOM! Almost makes me want to geta sex change to become a Lesbian. 😃 How could you not find someone else like you? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/33 "2001-04-17T23:10:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > **Well, Tiburon, I don’t know how you act in person, but judging by the pictures on the SD People’s Pages, I’d say your femme enough to make straight guys walk into walls & trees and stuff like that.** **Ethilrist** , I have the distinct and enviable pleasure to have met **Tiburon** in person, and I must say I walked into many a wall. The two MAY not be connected, as there were a few drinks involved, but nevertheless, your impressions are right on the mark. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714/34 "2001-04-18T01:11:25Z")
Hey, **Bill** , that’s my lesbian pseudo-wife yer trying to woo there! If anyone is not going to be hooking up with her, it’s _me_, okay? Get it straight! And yes,\*\* Ethilrist\*\*,\*\* Tibs\*\* is a stone fox. The fact that she’s a lawyer, witty and extremely sexually forward is a huge plus. However, the fact that she’s, oh, I don’t know…a lesbian kinda puts a damper on things. She is fun to not-really-flirt with, though. She takes the male thick-headedness very well 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-good-lesbian-is-hard-to-find/61714.md?page=1)