# "A green tongue?" This is a thing? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 3, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693 "2011-07-03T06:06:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/1 "2011-07-03T06:06:36Z")
I remember reading a [funny legal blog entry](http://www.grahamlawyerblog.com/2010/03/17/criminal-defense-lawyers-challenge-green-tongue-phenomenon-in-drug-dui-cases/) last year that revealed that California State Police “Drug Recognition Experts” officially held that a green tongue was an indicator of marijuana use and were acting accordingly. Turns out, they’re apparently committed to that assertion, and the press\* is [passing it on deadpan](http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-pot-drivers-20110703,0,3288424.story) > [@](#): > > California Highway Patrol officers thought [Jimmy Candido Flores] might be impaired and conducted a sobriety examination. Flores’ tongue had a green coat typical of heavy marijuana users and a later test showed he had pot, as well as other drugs, in his blood. I have a hard time believing this isn’t the result of a prank up there with [the ‘desk pop’](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo9tLrOHXH4) in terms of requiring a _very_ special kind of goat to carry off. “Oh, of course, Ralph. The green tongue thing’s real - it’s that hydroponic, that’s barely even a plant anymore! You should probably lead with that, it’s gritty stuff.” What the..? \*Okay, one doofus. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/2 "2011-07-03T06:25:12Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > I remember reading a [funny legal blog entry](http://www.grahamlawyerblog.com/2010/03/17/criminal-defense-lawyers-challenge-green-tongue-phenomenon-in-drug-dui-cases/) last year that revealed that California State Police “Drug Recognition Experts” officially held that a green tongue was an indicator of marijuana use and were acting accordingly. > > Turns out, they’re apparently committed to that assertion, and the press\* is [passing it on deadpan](http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-pot-drivers-20110703,0,3288424.story)I have a hard time believing this isn’t the result of a prank up there with [the ‘desk pop’](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo9tLrOHXH4) in terms of requiring a _very_ special kind of goat to carry off. > > “Oh, of course, Ralph. The green tongue thing’s real - it’s that hydroponic, that’s barely even a plant anymore! You should probably lead with that, it’s gritty stuff.” > > What the..? > > \*Okay, one doofus. :eek: They never told us that in D.A.R.E! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/3 "2011-07-03T23:26:24Z")
Huh. And here all along I thought it meant someone was eating a lime popscicle. Shows what I know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/4 "2011-07-03T23:37:55Z")
12 part sobriety check - walk a straight line and stand on one foot … what the fuck would they do with me and my crutches or wheelchair … ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/5 "2011-07-03T23:42:44Z")
Taze you, bro. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/6 "2011-07-03T23:54:35Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > 12 part sobriety check - walk a straight line and stand on one foot … what the fuck would they do with me and my crutches or wheelchair … Well, having just went through an unneccessarily hostile pullover and subsequent sobriety check, I might be able to enlighten a bit…They (police) had me first recite the alphabet slowly, without “singing it”. Then, when it became known that I was a paraplegic and used a wheelchair, the cops had me count backwards from 100 to 80. After that, I had to close my eyes and touch the tip of my nose with my index finger (with both hands). All this, just because they caught me in (what I consider unfair) a speed trap going about 10-12mph over the limit. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![minionkat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@minionkat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minionkat)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/7 "2011-07-04T00:26:39Z")
I remember my Dad coming into the kitchen in a panic one day. He asked me to look at his tongue - it was green. Very, very green. He was sure he had some kind of illness and asked me, a twelve year old child, what I thought it was. Um, Dad, you chew at least a pack of Clorets gum a day - those are green, no? He was very relieved and not a little embarrassed. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/8 "2011-07-04T20:39:15Z")
[QUOTE=LA times article] If police suspect a driver is stoned, they now administer a lengthy 12-point examination. The driver must walk a straight line and stand on one leg, estimate the passage of 30 seconds and have pupils, blood pressure and pulse checked. [/QUOTE] Because no one’s heart rate and blood pressure would ever go up when it’s being taken during a traffic stop :rolleyes: Nope, not nerve wracking at all. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/9 "2011-07-04T21:21:18Z")
I knew someone who had a green tongue that could make _anything_ grow. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-green-tongue-this-is-a-thing/587693/10 "2011-07-04T21:49:53Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I knew someone who had a green tongue that could make _anything_ grow. I suppose it’s not totally inappropriate that you’ve put Cole Porter into my head, there.