# A grieving person of another religion asks you to pray with them. Do you do it? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2010, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023 "2010-03-02T18:38:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/81 "2010-03-03T15:02:55Z")
I believe in a strange religion: but I will pray with whomever sincerely asks for my support. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/82 "2010-03-03T15:20:05Z")
As an atheist, I don’t ‘pray’ and I wouldn’t pretend to, no matter who asked. From my point of view, it sounds like a meaningless request, much as if someone were to ask me to choose the ‘correct’ homeopathic remedy or the roundest circle. If other people want to talk to themselves and fantasise that they are doing something more than that, then they are entitled to their comforting delusion. But I don’t see why they would expect me to go along with it. I believe in expressing warmth, sympathy, tact, respect, thoughtfulness and kindness. I believe in having and offering an optimistic and a hopeful attitude, and I believe in supporting people who are having a rough time. I know that I’ve helped many, many people through bad or difficult times, because they’ve told me so afterwards. But no, I wouldn’t pretend that ‘praying’ is anything other than what it really is, and I wouldn’t join in with the farce. I think I can be more honest and more helpful than that. If someone were to ask me to pray with them, I guess my view would be, sure, I _could_ pretend to, but instead why don’t I actually do something useful, helpful or meaningful? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/83 "2010-03-03T15:24:37Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > I’m not Buddhist, and this question is about me praying with them. It was the “you need to stick to your religious doctrine” that confused me, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/84 "2010-03-03T15:27:22Z")
Yes, I would. I mean, within reason I would want to help out a grieving person, right? If what helps them is having me pray with them, it’s no different to me than taking care of their cat or something. It’s about them right now, not about me. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/85 "2010-03-03T15:28:04Z")
I’m an atheist, and grieving people can get all the hugs and soft words they need from me, but prayer? Not a fuck. I’d be offended at the temerity of the assumption that I’d want to. I can at least trust my friends and family to already know this. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/86 "2010-03-03T15:40:10Z")
> [@ianzin](#): > > If someone were to ask me to pray with them, I guess my view would be, sure, I _could_ pretend to, but instead why don’t I actually do something useful, helpful or meaningful? I just don’t see how this can be communicated to them without it seeming like an attack. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/87 "2010-03-03T20:58:42Z")
I’m Episcopalian and have prayed with Jewish people at several bar mitzvahs and weddings. I don’t mind in the least. ---
**Author:** ![Anaglyph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Anaglyph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaglyph)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/88 "2010-03-03T21:05:54Z")
I’ll direct my prayers to Whom it may concern, and if nobody listens out there, it still may give comfort to the person I am praying with. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/89 "2010-03-03T21:54:02Z")
Agreeing with **Marienee**. Pass the blue mud. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/90 "2010-03-03T21:56:25Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I just don’t see how this can be communicated to them without it seeming like an attack. Well, that’s because it’s an attack, sillkins! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/91 "2010-03-03T21:58:53Z")
Ah, that explains it… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/92 "2010-03-03T22:01:57Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Ah, that explains it… Yeah, you were thinking about it too hard. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/93 "2010-03-03T22:21:25Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I just don’t see how this can be communicated to them without it seeming like an attack. “I think your beliefs are stupid and a waste of time.” _hug_ ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/94 "2010-03-03T22:21:32Z")
Speaking as a Catholic… it depends. I could join in prayer with almost any Protestant. I could join in an Eastern Orthodox prayer without a problem. And, while there are major differences between Christianity and Judaism, and bettween Chrstianity and Islam, I could probably join in prayer with a Jew or Muslim, depending on how the prayer was constructed. I could not and would not join in a prayer offered by a Wiccan/pagan, a Hindu, or a Buddhist. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/95 "2010-03-04T00:40:02Z")
Atheist, and I voted I would pray with anyone. By “pray”, I mean sit quietly, hold their hands, close my eyes while they pray. I could not and would not offer any words of prayer myself. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/96 "2010-03-04T00:52:08Z")
I would pray with them, just out of respect to them. It’s not going to kill me. I think the world would be a much better place if people realized there is a time and a place for everything. No matter what you do or do not believe you don’t need to go around all the time trying to make a point. If I go to eat and the host prays I would bow my head and go along with it. It has nothing to do with prayer but showing respect to the host. Same with a grieving person. If they thought my praying would help I would do so, because of them. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/97 "2010-03-04T01:04:54Z")
I would do whatever it took to comfort the person, whether that is just being quiet, or faking a prayer. It isn’t aboutme at all. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/98 "2010-03-04T01:19:23Z")
I would pray the prayer of my own religion. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/99 "2010-03-04T01:35:15Z")
There really should have been a better choice than: “I believe in Religion X, and I refuse to pray with anyone of another faith.” which currently has 0. It should have been “I believe in religion X and I refuse to pray with anyone of faith Y” to be more accurate it seems. Ah well, I can’t say I didn’t expect it though. Human nature, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023/100 "2010-03-04T01:44:21Z")
Interesting- the one option nobody picked was “I belong to Religion X and I refuse to pray with someone of Religion Y”. Make of that what you will. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-grieving-person-of-another-religion-asks-you-to-pray-with-them-do-you-do-it/531023.md?page=6)