# A guys worst nightmare **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 21, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286 "2011-04-21T21:12:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/21 "2011-04-22T14:39:56Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > bahahaha, teflon undies! Ovulate all you want on them – your eggs aren’t going to stick! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/22 "2011-04-22T15:17:05Z")
> [@Oldeb](#): > > Two seperate women. Does that make it a trend? Two more and it’ll be a menu item. “Manchester Oysters, €5 @ kilo” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/23 "2011-04-23T19:59:37Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I’m not going after that bitch with anything less than a compression phaser rifle. I was thinking you wanted to lose the image, but knock yourself out. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/24 "2011-04-23T20:07:44Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I was thinking you wanted to lose the image, but knock yourself out. Scotty said, “The best diplomat is a fully charged phaser bank.” ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/25 "2011-04-23T22:35:29Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I’m confused - did she bite 'em off, or rip 'em off with her bare hands? > > Inquiring minds, etc. If they are anything like a cows, once you get through the skin, you can detach the testicles with a firm tug, and there is very little blood. ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/26 "2011-04-24T01:22:35Z")
Perp is a 43 year old “mother of four” with a “boyfriend.” I’d never expect dysfunctionality there! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/27 "2011-04-24T01:27:30Z")
How on earth does one tear testicles OFF? Sure the skin is delicate, but it’s sturdy and not amenable to um, ripping by hand. And how does a guy stand still long enough for someone to do this to him? (I didn’t read the articles because I am out of brain bleach). Seriously, if someone is trying to bite your scrotum OFF, wouldn’t you punch that person in the head? Ditto the er, hand-job. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/28 "2011-04-24T01:32:59Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > How on earth does one tear testicles OFF? Sure the skin is delicate, but it’s sturdy and not amenable to um, ripping by hand. > > And how does a guy stand still long enough for someone to do this to him? (I didn’t read the articles because I am out of brain bleach). > Seriously, if someone is trying to bite your scrotum OFF, wouldn’t you punch that person in the head? Ditto the er, hand-job. How long do you think a yank takes? Or a bite. If she’s going down on him, how could he possibly do anything to stop it? ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/29 "2011-04-24T01:45:57Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > If they are anything like a cows, once you get through the skin, you can detach the testicles with a firm tug, and there is very little blood. Ok, Bones… /squick ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/30 "2011-04-24T02:16:19Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > Ok, Bones… > > /squick Mike Rowe’s TED speech: > **[Learning from dirty jobs](https://www.ted.com/talks/mike_rowe_learning_from_dirty_jobs)** > > Mike Rowe, the host of "Dirty Jobs," tells some compelling (and horrifying) real-life job stories. Listen for his insights and observations about the nature of hard work, and how it's been unjustifiably degraded in society today. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/31 "2011-04-24T02:28:57Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > How on earth does one tear testicles OFF? Sure the skin is delicate, but it’s sturdy and not amenable to um, ripping by hand.. Yeah, wondering about the mechanics also. That she managed to remove both of them suggests that she had both in her mouth at the same time— not impossible, given small enough _cojones_ and a large enough mouth—but in that case, it seems likely that she’d chomp down on them in the course of separating them, rendering them useless— on second thought, I don’t want to think about this anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/32 "2011-04-24T05:21:56Z")
The headlines are misleading. Those women were the guys’ girlfriends, not their mothers (which would have been EVEN MORE disturbing!). ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/33 "2011-04-24T14:09:04Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > If they are anything like a cows Cows don’t have… ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/34 "2011-04-24T14:53:28Z")
Bitch should go on a diet. Hope none of her four lambs are male. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2011, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/35 "2011-04-26T22:48:43Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > If they are anything like a cows, once you get through the skin, you can detach the testicles with a firm tug, and there is very little blood. Well, my hat’s off to you and your adventurous spirit. How’d you get your head in there, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/36 "2011-04-27T14:08:12Z")
> [@Oldeb](#): > > Two seperate women. Does that make it a trend? Only if it’s the same guy. Who, if that’s true, REALLY needs to consider the caliber of woman he dates. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/37 "2011-04-27T19:53:14Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > In 2005, a woman who admitted to ripping her ex-boyfriend’s testicle off with her bare hands after he refused to sleep with her was jailed for two and a half years. I call BS. A man turning down sex? Someone wasn’t thinking when they wrote that story … ---
**Author:** ![Oldeb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ea666f/32.png) [@Oldeb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oldeb)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286/38 "2011-04-27T21:27:12Z")
He was probably just following the “don’t stick your dick in crazy” rule. I’m sure she had plenty of other warning signs. At least I hope so. Because if barehanded testicle ripping is one of the _first_ signs of mental illness I’m never leaving the house. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-guys-worst-nightmare/579286.md?page=1)