So, here’s my story, which I am sharing in the hopes that other Dopers will share their happy self discovery stories about love.
I’ve just turned 21. At the end of 2003 I began my first real relationship with a member of the opposite sex, let’s call her Heather, and it lasted 19 months, until just recently. Now 4 or 5 months into this relationship, we both naively decided that we knew we would get married in a few years. We both quickly abandoned that particular brand of naivete, but a far more insidious one began building itself up in Heather’s mind. For my part, I went along with it to the extent that I thought marriage was still a possibility.
Now, enter Melissa (another fake name). Melissa and I went to high school together, although she’s a year behind me, and we had maintained a very comfortable friendship with one another since, although it did begin a slow crescendo this past fall. So as the spring of 2005 proceeded, I had my steadily ramping up friendship with Melissa and my ostensibly very strong relationship with Heather. Now comes June, and Melissa invited me to go to Scotland with her for a week. Originally her brother was supposed to go, he got a new job, blah blah blah whatever. So I went to Scotland with Melissa. During the trip, I fell in love with her.
I should clarify this word “love,” since that’s the whole self-discovery part of this story. I realized that I was never really truly in love with Heather. The fall of 2003 was my first semester at college, and I wasn’t emotionally ready for the independence that brought. I only got together with Heather after a period of unrequited affection for another girl. What happened was, rather than being emotionally attracted to either of those girls, I was simply dependent on them for my well being. Some love probably did grow out of that dependence with Heather, but I can’t say how much, and at any rate dependence should grow out of love, and not the other way around.
In other words, what I thought was love really wasn’t. So Melissa, after taking some time to think it over, agreed to start dating me, and we’ve been happily enjoying the fruits of our new closeness (not that kind of closeness, you pervs)for a few weeks now.
Now it’s your turn. Share your happy self discovery stories about love!