# A hearty "Eat shit and die, fascist motherfucker!" to Attorney General John Ashcroft **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 7, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364 "2001-12-07T03:24:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/1 "2001-12-07T03:24:17Z")
Fuck you, asshole. Fuck you, your friends, your supporters, the worthless piece of shit who nominated you for you your job, your inbred ancestors, the contributors to your political campaigns, every person on your mailing list, and every person who shakes your hand instead of spitting in your uncomprehending face. In case you can’t tell, I am extraordinarily displeased with [the U.S. Attorney general](http://www.cnn.com/2001/US/12/06/inv.ashcroft.hearing/index.html): > [@](#): > > Attorney General John Ashcroft lashed out Thursday at critics of the administration’s response to terrorism, saying questions about whether its actions undermine the Constitution only serve to help terrorists. > > “To those who pit Americans against immigrants, citizens against non-citizens, to those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty, my message is this: Your tactics only aid terrorists for they erode our national unity and diminish our resolve,” Ashcroft told the Senate Judiciary Committee. “They give ammunition to America’s enemies and pause to America’s friends. They encourage people of good will to remain silent in the face of evil.” Well guess what, shithead? I think you have been openly wiping your ass with the Constitution for the last three months. I think your ideas on military tribunals, the breaching of attorney-client confidentiality, secret detention of anybody you feel like, and questioning people based on nothing more than their national origin are all straight out of some dark corner of the 15th century. I think that you wouldn’t recognize human liberty if it walked up to you in church on Sunday morning and started pounding your reactionary ass while screaming “I am human liberty, you detestable son of a bitch!” But “Oh!” you say, “I only piss on the Bill of Rights because it is necessary to protect our citizens from terrorists who would kill us all if we gave them even the slightest legal rights.” To which I say stop lying through your dentures, fuckwad. You don’t honestly believe for a moment that the Constitution has to bend over backwards for terrorism. No, you only believe that the inconvenient portions of the Constitution should give way. Because God forbid that anybody even attempt to infringe in even the most trivial of ways on your personal interpretation of the Second Amendment. Fuck no, [the FBI](http://news.findlaw.com/news/s/20011206/attackgunsdc.html) isn’t allowed to look at the records of gun purchases for any of the suspects you’ve secretly detained, because that would invade their right to privacy. Ya know, maybe I could respect you as at least being intellectually consistent when you say our everyday rights and privileges have to give way when it comes to fighting terrorism. But God_damn_, you are a hypocritical piece of shit useless motherfucker who only gives a rat’s ass about the portions of the constitution you personally agree with. Does Osama bin Laden have the right to walk into Kmart and purchase every fucking weapon in the store without the FBI even inquiring into whether he might be armed? Where’s your “Constitution doesn’t apply to terrorists” argument now, bunghole? Fuck you, motherfucker. Do not even imply, for one single moment, that I am remotely on the side of the terrorists. Disagreeing with you does not encourage anybody to stay silent in the face of evil, it doesn’t give ammunition to the enemy, and it fucking well doesn’t aid terrorists. You are a disgusting human being, and I wish you nothing but unhappiness for the rest of your miserable existence for claiming I support terrorism when I oppose your trashing of civil liberties. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/2 "2001-12-07T03:31:07Z")
What I loved was “They could use our freedoms to their advantages.” So that means we lose our freedoms as well, jackass? Huh? Yeah, I loved the part about the gun purchasing. It’s so OBVIOUS it’s not about terrorism-it’s a total wet dream come true for Ashcroft. He’s using this to further his own agenda and milking it for all it’s worth. Didn’t he say his personal beliefs would not influence his duty to carry out the law? WHat happened to that, you sorry piece of shit! I watched it this morning in total disbelief. (And of course awe at the sorry state of poor Senator Thurmond, much as I dislike the guy, he looks like he’s on his last leg). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/3 "2001-12-07T03:43:00Z")
I agree with you, minty green. It’s too damn bad Shrub, the man who would be king, didn’t nominate a corpse to the attorney general’s office. At least, the Constitution would be safer then. I think it’s time for those who love freedom to start stockpiling guns, ammo and explosives. ---
**Author:** ![lenin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@lenin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lenin)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/4 "2001-12-07T03:43:25Z")
Can anyone say “McCarthy?” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/5 "2001-12-07T03:44:44Z")
Asscrap is revealing himself to be even worse than we thought. And to think some people complained about Janet Reno. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/6 "2001-12-07T03:52:41Z")
:shrug: I had very good reasons for complaining about Reno. Just for different reasons. Ashcroft is an asshole, granted. But maybe I’m old and jaded. I don’t see any valid comparison between Ashcroft and Tailgunner Joe. Maybe in a few years. And he’s not really a fascist, either. ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/7 "2001-12-07T03:55:11Z")
**lenin** asks, "Can anyone say “McCarthy?” I can. **Guinastasia, minty green, The Peyote Coyote** , and \*\*lenin \*\* sound like Joseph McCarthy, demonizing Ashcroft for actions that are appropriate to protect the American people and which you know are fully legal and Constitutional. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/8 "2001-12-07T03:55:18Z")
By all the Kings of Tara, andros, he will do until some necromancer resurrects McCarthy’s moldering body. I didn’t think much of Reno or Ed Meese, but they seem like paragons of virtue compared to Attorney General Asswipe. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/9 "2001-12-07T04:01:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by december \* > \*\ ***lenin** asks, "Can anyone say “McCarthy?” > > I can. > > **Guinastasia, minty green, The Peyote Coyote** , and \*\*lenin \*\* sound like Joseph McCarthy, demonizing Ashcroft for actions that are appropriate to protect the American people and which you know are fully legal and Constitutional. \*\* Excuse me? **december** , get bent. Excuse ME if I object to my freedoms being eroded to in the name of “stopping terrorism.” What about he who gives up most of his liberty for a bit of security deserves neither? Fuck you, **december**. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/10 "2001-12-07T04:02:36Z")
Fuck you too, **december**. I didn’t say one goddamned thing about John Ashcroft, SDMB or IRL, until the motherfucker accused me of giving aid and comfort to the enemy. That is the single most contemptible, disgusting statement I have heard in American politics in a long, long time. I have no problem if somebody disagrees with me. I have big problems if somebody equates me to Mullah Fucking Omar because I disagree with them. So fuck John Ashcroft, and if you don’t understand why I’m pissed off at this useless piece of shit excuse for an attorney general, fuck you too. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/11 "2001-12-07T04:04:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by december \* > and which you know are fully legal and Constitutional. Eat shit and die for pretending to know my state of mind, motherfucker. ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/12 "2001-12-07T04:05:58Z")
**Guin** , **Minty** , calm the fuck down. We all know that **december** is a dumb fuck anyway. I’m fairly sure most people just tune him (her?) out. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/13 "2001-12-07T04:09:05Z")
**december** wrote > [@](#): > > …demonizing Ashcroft for actions that are appropriate to protect the American people and which you know are fully legal and Constitutional. Don’t you mean "…and which _might be_ legal and Constitutional. Gotta get your keyboard checked out. It spells funny. ---
**Author:** ![IzzyR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/14 "2001-12-07T04:09:32Z")
**minty** it would seem that you are twisting Ashcroft’s words out of context. He did not say that those who criticize his tactics are motivated by a desire to help the terrorists. Only that this is a practical outcome of their actions. In any event, if these actions are indeed unconstitutional, why would they not be simply struck down by the courts? As I understand it (& I may be wrong) it’s more of a slippery slope that people are worried about, than the actions themselves. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/15 "2001-12-07T04:13:32Z")
It’s so nice to see fine Americans like december and John Ashcroft who laud the Constitution as long as no one actually uses the First Amendment to criticize the government. Frankly, judging from the Bush Administration’s response to terrorism, bin Laden and his bully boys have already won the war on terrorism because the government is going whole hog to throw the Constitution out the window – eavesdropping on client-attorney conversations, secret trials, a top shyster who thinks he and his compadres are immune to criticism; mailing out invitations to interviews on the flimiest of excuses. Hell, why bother to go through the appearance of a fair trial; just be honest and shoot anyone you don’t like. And judging by december, who is a total waste of oxygen, too many of the American people are eating it up. Increasingly, when I watch all this hysteria and willingness to throw away our freedoms, at a time when none of our territory has been invaded and we face contemptible opponents that are not nearly so powerful as our enemies of 1941, I am reminded of Gibbons’ line that no time in history was as happy as the Rome of the Antoine Emperors. I think peoples of the future will look back on the USA of 1945-2001 and sigh to think that a people once had such wonderful freedom and threw it away because of fear. And december, on a final note, since I am not going to pay $$ to be a member of this board and could care less if the moderators kick me off: Fuck off, drop dead and burn in hell. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/16 "2001-12-07T04:16:08Z")
Go, Minty! A solid **9.8** on the rant, it had a good beat and oh boy did I dance to it… 😃 Molly Ivins put it well in today’s column. [http://chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/oped/chi-0112060151dec06.story](http://chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/oped/chi-0112060151dec06.story) > [@](#): > > We are all suspects, if Ashcroft has his way > > Molly Ivins, Creators Syndicate. Molly Ivins is a syndicated columnist based in Austin, Texas > Published December 6, 2001 > > \ > > [**note: extreme sarcasm mode–gal cain’t hardly write any other way, God bless her**] > > I cannot commend too strongly those hardy, tough-minded citizens ready to sacrifice all our civil rights in the fight against terrorism. It’s clear to them anyone speaking up for civil liberties is on the side of the terrorists, and that’s the kind of thinking that has earned syllogism the reputation it enjoys today. > > \ > > And what could be better than the insouciance with which the attorney general himself approaches the Constitution? During his six years in the Senate, he tried to proposed no fewer than seven constitutional amendments. Since we’ve only managed to amend it 17 times in the last 200 years (that’s leaving out the Bill of Rights), it’s an impressive record. Of course, one of John Ashcroft’s proposed amendments was to make it easier to amend. Another was the always helpful flag-burning amendment, which had it been in effect, would have done so much to prevent the terrorist attacks. > > Yep, if we had a constitution largely rewritten by John Ashcroft, as opposed the one we’re stuck with by such picayune minds as Madison, Washington, Franklin, Hamilton, etc., we’d be a lot safer today. > > Wouldn’t we? How? you ask. Well, for example, uh . . . And there’s . . . uh. Well at least we could have had a better visa system. So that has nothing to do with the Constitution: picky, picky. > > In this fight for our cherished freedoms, those cherished freedoms should definitely be the first thing to go. Sieg heil, y’all. Molly, _je t’adore_, gal. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/17 "2001-12-07T04:17:12Z")
I generally don’t bitch about slippery slopes, **Izzy**. I oppose the policies for what they are now, not what they might become later. And I really don’t care that Ashcroft might be drawing a distinction in his comments between being a terrorist supporter by opposing his policies and supporting terrorists by opposing his policies. Whether the sense is active or passive, his sentiments are still vile and disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/18 "2001-12-07T04:17:15Z")
Izzy: I don’t think minty is off base at all. I did a quick check of Ashcroft’s comments on Salon and the SOB admitted he doesn’t even know if all the persons detained – and I would remind you the majority are accused of immigration violations only – have attorneys, and yet he throws a screaming shit fit over the relatively mild criticism he has received to date. ---
**Author:** ![IzzyR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@IzzyR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IzzyR)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/19 "2001-12-07T04:24:23Z")
But is it or is it not true that if Ashcroft was actually violating the Constitution the courts would overturn his actions? (This does not address whether his actions are the proper thing to do - just whether they are unconstitutional). Also (minty) I was not distinguishing between active and passive helping terrorists. Rather between desiring to help them, and opposing them but giving unwitting help to their cause. TPC, I would not call the criticizm that he has received to date “relatively mild” (though maybe it was, relative to this rant 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364/20 "2001-12-07T04:35:04Z")
The courts wouldn’t overturn his actions until sometime in the year 2007 or thereabouts. That’s the problem. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hearty-eat-shit-and-die-fascist-motherfucker-to-attorney-general-john-ashcroft/97364.md?page=2)