# A House Divided **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 9, 2016, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709 "2016-04-09T21:12:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/1 "2016-04-09T21:12:36Z")
Ladies, Gentlemen and Other-Gendered Denizens of the SDMB; It is with Great Sorrow that I announce the start of Mourning in The Guesthouse for our Beloved Leader Emperor of The Lands Behind Appliances Duke of Behind The Toilet Prince of The Living Room and Regent of Under Living Room Furniture The King Under The Bed Defender of The Realms Behind The Desk and Guardian of Behind The TV Destroyer of Flies Eater of Worms Meower of Spiders Lion Royale and Relentless Guardian of the Yard and its Environs Beloved Kittyboy, Furry Child, Fuzzy Butt and Generalismo Pain-in-the-ass The High King Lord Nuzzles Has been missing for seven days now and is presumed dead. His Lady in Waiting, the Grand Matron, Mrs. Guest is taking it especially hard. Please bow your heads with us in a moment of prayer/thoughtful meditation/respectful silence as we mourn his loss. [cue imperial dirge] :(…☹ [/cue imperial dirge] Thank you Now for the other news. :)Im Gonna Be A Grandpa!!!🙂 In about 8-9 months wooooohoooooooo ahem Just thought I’d mention that. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/2 "2016-04-09T21:27:48Z")
I’m sorry for your kitty. ☹ Congrats on the upcoming baby! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/3 "2016-04-09T22:08:54Z")
Not a bad trade, all things considered. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/4 "2016-04-09T22:41:46Z")
Congratulations on the soon-to- be grandchild. I’m holding out hope for the safe return of Lord Nuzzles. It’s only been seven days. He might have just nipped off for a bit of a holiday. I once had a dog missing for three weeks. I finally located him at my local Humane Society. We were reunited to much rejoicing by both of us. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2016, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/5 "2016-04-10T00:42:15Z")
The Mrs. too, holds onto faint hope for his return. We alerted the local Humane Society after three days so his chip is now tagged as lost in the “system” for chipped pets. Also the traditional flyers around the neighborhood plus notices on craigslist and facebook. I myself wonder if he didn’t fall prey to a raptor (we live quite near the [National Birds of Prey Conservation](https://fishandgame.idaho.gov/ifwis/ibt/site.aspx?id=65) area) I wonder what the size ratio would have to be for a cat to become a secondary or tertiary meal choice for a falcon or hawk or owl. More likely though scenario though is he got caught up in one of the moving vans in the neighborhood when he disappeared (one family moved, the other was an older couple who both died within hours of each other) ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/6 "2016-04-11T17:53:06Z")
One title I like for cats (but will never own one) is Chairman Meow. Congrats one the future grandchild. I am going though the “I want a baby…” "“Girl, listen you are 46, just because you still have eggs in the icebox doesn’t mean you want to use them!” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/7 "2016-04-11T21:16:54Z")
That’s a pretty good cat name. Sorry for your loss. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > Not a bad trade, all things considered. He might be allergic to babies. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/8 "2016-04-11T21:25:50Z")
Perhaps Lord Nuzzles was a very good cat in this life and is to be rewarded with reincarnation as a small human being. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/9 "2016-04-11T21:27:40Z")
Cat owners are going to come and rip you apart, lady. Cat to baby is a _demotion_. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/10 "2016-04-11T21:43:24Z")
> [@stillownedbysetters](#): > > Perhaps Lord Nuzzles was a very good cat in this life and is to be rewarded with reincarnation as a small human being. 🙂 Lightning crashes… ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2016, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/11 "2016-04-11T21:49:32Z")
> [@guestchaz](#): > > More likely though scenario though is he got caught up in one of the moving vans in the neighborhood when he disappeared (one family moved, the other was an older couple who both died within hours of each other) Are the houses vacant? He might be trapped inside. You might see if there is some way you can check. Our cat was missing for over a week once. Then suddenly appeared. The exact amount of time she was gone was the time our neighbors were out of town on vacation…she was trapped in their garage. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/12 "2016-04-12T00:12:48Z")
well, one of the houses must have been already sold, the family that moved out was followed almost immediately by someone else moving in. The older couple that died, there have been workmen in and out of the house doing repairs? renovations? something anyway. I had a cat go through this once, got locked in a moving truck for three days. (actually its rather astonishing how quickly they cleared the old couples house, I think they just moved to an assisted living facility or something and my rumor-feed glitched:o) Anyway, Mrs. Guest and I have decided that in a few more weeks (gotta have a proper mourning period for royalty yanno) we are going to go to the shelter and adopt again. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/13 "2016-04-12T03:25:33Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > One title I like for cats (but will never own one) is Chairman Meow. I had a cat that I named Mousy; full name, Mousy Tongue. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/14 "2016-04-12T18:18:31Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I had a cat that I named Mousy; full name, Mousy Tongue. I will have to tell Chairman Meow’s “Changer of Litter and Bringer of Food” that name, incase she ever feels called upon to serve another Feline. Seriously, the first time I ever went to her place, she warned me “That is Chairman Meow. He doesn’t like people. Except me. Sometimes.” ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/15 "2016-04-12T18:41:56Z")
I have a cat who likes people. She assumes that everyone who comes over, workmen, UPS guys, my son’s friends, my friends, co-workers who come by to drop something off, relatives who come to visit, are there for the EXPRESS purpose of petting her. She latches onto everyone. As soon as they sit down, she in on their laps, rubbing their faces, and forcing her muzzle under their hands. If they don’t sit don’t, she walk around their legs, and taps them with her paws, and meows at them. She is relentless. Other cats think she is a sell-out. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/16 "2016-04-12T18:47:21Z")
> [@guestchaz](#): > > Now for the other news. > :)Im Gonna Be A Grandpa!!!🙂 > In about 8-9 months > wooooohoooooooo Did they conceive the baby last night? ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/17 "2016-04-12T19:43:26Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Cat owners are going to come and rip you apart, lady. Cat to baby is a _demotion_. Was that speciesist of me? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/18 "2016-04-12T19:44:35Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > Lightning crashes… High five. That was exactly the tune that was running through my head when I made this post. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2016, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/19 "2016-04-12T21:21:51Z")
> [@stillownedbysetters](#): > > High five. That was exactly the tune that was running through my head when I made this post. Nice to know my reality intersects sometimes with others’. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2016, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709/20 "2016-04-13T01:40:15Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Did they conceive the baby last night? No, but very recently. thus 8 to 9 instead of an exact count down, mmmm I guess it could have been stated as 7 to 9 months ETA: Guestling the Expectant Father seems to know the actual date of conception, but I don’t and don’t really want to. Just going off the somewhat vague discussion of how they planned this child [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-house-divided/751709.md?page=2)