# A hypothetical. Includes zombies. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 10, 2012, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022 "2012-08-10T00:57:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/21 "2012-08-10T04:42:09Z")
Let’s see. Left hand: TV remote Right hand: Lint roller Last show: Perception pilot episode. With Eric McCormack as Dr. Daniel Pierce, a paranoid schizophrenic. Summary: Screwed. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/22 "2012-08-10T05:15:29Z")
Well I have a trampoline on my left and an air conditioner on my right. I guess I could jury rig something. I last watched Warehouse 13 which I’ve decided Jinxy is the main character of. Because if we got together it would be close to twincest. So now this isn’t sounding like an apocalypse. It’s sounding like a fine party. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_I\_Am](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sam\_I\_Am](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_I_Am)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/23 "2012-08-10T05:23:38Z")
To my left is a toddler, to my right is my purse. At least it has my Swiss army knife in it. The last thing I watched was Sesame Street. Elmo and Jake Gyllenhaal, this should be interesting… Or if we go with the last thing I chose to watch, then I would have Harry Potter to help. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/24 "2012-08-10T05:28:39Z")
Left hand:　a can of compressed air.　　 Right hand: A spare mouse. My ally: The 48kg Japanese gold-medal winning female wrestler. Could be worse, but it would have been nice to have the marksmanship medalist as my ally, instead of, you know, wrestling. I don’t think that style of combat is quite suitable for a zombie apocalypse… ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/25 "2012-08-10T06:12:29Z")
Last thing I watched was _[The Midnight Beast](http://site.themidnightbeast.com/bio)_ - of which, I’d say the main character is probably Stefan Abingdon. I think I’d be OK; after all, he kicked a shark in the face. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/26 "2012-08-10T07:02:50Z")
Well, I’m armed with a toy moose and a cup of coffee, but at least I’ve got Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead on my side, so I think I’ll be okay (apparently he’s got some experience in this area) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/27 "2012-08-10T07:04:31Z")
My primary weapon is an empty plastic water bottle. My secondary weapon is a fan. The last show I watched was Mary and Max. I’m screwed. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/28 "2012-08-10T07:14:32Z")
My sidekick is Optimus Prime. I think I have better chances than anyone else here. Oh yeah, weapons. In my left hand is a ceramic kitchen knife I paid way too much for. In my right is a golf club. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/29 "2012-08-10T07:39:31Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > My sidekick is Optimus Prime. > > I think I have better chances than anyone else here. > > Oh yeah, weapons. In my left hand is a ceramic kitchen knife I paid way too much for. In my right is a golf club. Just reread the rules. In my left hand is an empty glass, and in my right hand is a copy of the 4th edition Shadowrun rules. I still pity the zombie that tries to step to me and my pal Optimus. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/30 "2012-08-10T08:42:04Z")
To my left is a knife & fork; to my right is a sword. The last video I watched was Professor Martyn Poliakoff, so I’d be better off than most. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/31 "2012-08-10T09:06:59Z")
Left Hand - set of keys with Swiss Army Penknife Right Hand - Swiss army credit card Sidekick - _Usain Bolt_: I can’t run as fast as him, but I **can** run for more than 200m. He is a big man, he’ll keep them occupied for a while 😉 Si ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/32 "2012-08-10T09:16:54Z")
Home from work. L Hand: Kindle R Hand: Apple Sidekick: Phillip J. Fry Shit. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/33 "2012-08-10T10:15:44Z")
Lessee - the only weapon-like thing to my left is a Bic pen. On the right, it’s probably going to have to be my stapler, since my mouse is largely ineffective. And the last thing I was watching before turning off the TV was Married with Children, so I guess, it’s me and Al Bundy… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/34 "2012-08-10T10:19:38Z")
Last thing I watched was the 200m men’s Olympic final. I guess that Usain Bolt is the main character. He runs MUCH faster than I do, so … I think I’m screwed. The old axiom, he doesn’t have to run faster than the zombies, just faster than _me_. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/35 "2012-08-10T10:46:13Z")
Left hand: ring binder Right hand: Post-It notes Companion: Tim from _Spy_. He’s got a gun, at least, but isn’t that competent. Looking at the contents of the ring binder… yep, a lot of contact details for a local university but not much else. I’m dead, unless I can distract zombies with the prospect of distance learning. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/36 "2012-08-10T10:58:57Z")
> [@Double\_Foolscap](#): > > Looking at the contents of the ring binder… yep, a lot of contact details for a local university but not much else. I’m dead, unless I can distract zombies with the prospect of distance learning. But where would a zombie find better brains? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/37 "2012-08-10T11:04:19Z")
Left hand: [Zombocalypse NOW](http://www.amazon.com/Zombocalypse-Now-Matt-Youngmark/dp/0984067809/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344596627&sr=8-1&keywords=zombocalypse+now) (seriously) Right hand: a glass of unsweet iced tea Sidekick: Matt Lauer. I am unlikely to make it more than 10 feet away from my apartment. ---
**Author:** ![Oukile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@Oukile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oukile)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/38 "2012-08-10T13:20:10Z")
Nikita 😃 With a cup of coffee and an Ipod. Could do worse. ---
**Author:** ![newsbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@newsbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newsbunny)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/39 "2012-08-10T13:42:52Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Oh fuck, I have to rely on _Peter Griffin_ for help? Time to put a bullet in my own brain. Except the only weapons I have are a TV remote and a pillow. :smack: You could, conceivably, choose Stewie as your main character. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2012, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022/40 "2012-08-10T13:44:48Z")
To my right is a giant binder; to my left, a Camelbak water bottle. The water bottle will actually be useful so I’ll take it, even if not as a weapon. As for my companion, if it’s the last **show** I watched, it would be none other than _Sherlock_. (I promised to stop talking about him in another thread, but you DID ask.) If it’s the last movie, we were watching _Raiders of the Lost Ark_ last night so it’s Indy. So either way at least I’d have brains and a good fighter by my side. Oh, and sexy too. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-hypothetical-includes-zombies/631022.md?page=3)