# A la carte cable: Pat Robertson's scared that people won't pay to watch him **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 2, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799 "2006-03-02T19:41:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/21 "2006-03-03T08:14:09Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Why is Robertson so upset? > > Just ask for more money during the telethons. > > Hell, ask God to send him some money. He keeps acting like he and the Lord are so Buddy Buddy. I’m sure the Creator of the Universe has it well withen his power to keep a true believer like Robertson afloat with some approrpriate donations. > > Then again, God could probably cause the 700 club to be projected onto every wall in the universe if he wanted to. A friend of mine lamented that God could create the universe in seven days, yet oddly always seemed to have a cash-flow problem. I am **SO** getting kicked off the vestry if anyone heard me say that. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/22 "2006-03-03T15:21:06Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > even better, have the audio from Robertson’s channel, and visuals from the playboy channel. everyone wins! The other way around would just be wrong… ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/23 "2006-03-03T15:25:04Z")
Are there any hard numbers on how many people actually EWATCH this fool? I’ve tuned in…his show is incredibly boring…does he still have the Brit chick 9she’s pretty hot). Other than that, its the same old ranting about the antichrist, immoral youth, and plaese send me more $$. Boring piece of shite! ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/24 "2006-03-03T16:35:26Z")
Pat Robertson is hardly the only cable channel owner worried about this. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2006, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/25 "2006-03-03T19:12:20Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > [If] having to face the marketplace w/o a net will take out the likes of Robertson, I expect it will also take out TCM, Comedy Central, and other “niche” channels. If to get Jon Stewart I must let Pat Robertson live, I’ll take it. I don’t honestly know what a la carte would do to prices, but I’m sure the cable operators would want to make their dime one way or another. But I wouldn’t worry about access to programming. The cable operators have the network and the bandwidth; to leave it unused or underused means they’re missing a chance to make some money. If they can cablecast 70 channels now, they’ll keep filling up that bandwidth one way or another. What might change is the balance among the cable companies, the content providers, and the consumers in terms of who pays whom how much for what. (Got that? :)) A la carte will change the power relationships, in a way that I suspect will benefit the consumers overall, and put content providers in a position of assuming more of the risk. It might even be the first step of a move towards cable companies’ getting out of the content business, and becoming neutral managers of a communications pipeline, letting other companies buy access and charging a toll on usage. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/26 "2006-03-04T01:29:05Z")
I think his hour o’ shite is syndicated on a regular ole channel in the Vancouver market; one does not need fancy tiered cable to see his daily beg. Not so in the US? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/27 "2006-03-04T02:13:21Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > even better, have the audio from Robertson’s channel, and visuals from the playboy channel. everyone wins! But the pants and moans have far more intellectual content! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/28 "2006-03-04T02:40:29Z")
I’d just like to know why he looks constipated when he’s praying. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/29 "2006-03-04T03:10:18Z")
> [@Annie](#): > > I think his hour o’ shite is syndicated on a regular ole channel in the Vancouver market; one does not need fancy tiered cable to see his daily beg. Not so in the US? Actually it’s a mix. He no longer owns outright the actual cable/satellite channel that used to be CBN and then The Family Channel(\*) – it became such a big business it threatened the NPO status of the Ministry, so it was sold to Fox and by them to Disney/ABC; one of the contract terms was that they continue broadcasting his show in perpetuity. CBN now operates as a content provider, a sort of “syndicator network” selling material to various “Christian TV” broadcast and pay outlets who need to fill airtime. I dare say a majority of Pat’s American viewership comes from the combination of all those local/regional “Christian TV” outlets who buy his content, even if the largest-single continues to be ABC Family. Thing is, as I mentioned, the “must carry” rule means that all those local/regional GodTV stations must be included in their market zone’s Basic Cable package. And the fear is that if true a-la-carte comes along, a lot of people will narrow down their local-station subscription to exactly the 6 main networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, UPN/WB, and PBS) plus only the most ravingly popular cable-only channels. The preachers, who thought it would mean they could bring pressure to bear for taking out godless heathen outlets like MTV, Comedy Central, and hell, yes, PBS, just now realized that **they** could get hammered through sheer market forces. Me, I’ve always been of two minds about “narrowcasting” and while I understand Rufus T’s POV, I must say I’m ever oath to count on that the Invisible Hand of the Marketplace will not clench into a fist to get shoved up the nether regions of the consumer. IMHO a good approach would be to not FORCE al-la-carte, but to make it yet another option _besides_ package “tiers” which would stay as the defaults. (\*The Family Channel tended to be big on reruns of Westerns – y’know, traditional values and all that – leading a good Christian coworker of mine to once quip, "\*yeah, sure, ‘cause nuthin’ speaks of Christian values like a good shootin’ or hangin’ \* ") ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/30 "2006-03-04T03:10:40Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’d just like to know why he looks constipated when he’s praying. Prayers don’t pass out to God without lots and lots of scrunching. At least not on TV. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/31 "2006-03-04T03:35:42Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Prayers don’t pass out to God without lots and lots of scrunching. At least not on TV. It just seems strange, since he spews shit every time he opens his mouth. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/32 "2006-03-04T03:48:39Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > It just seems strange, since he spews shit every time he opens his mouth. Ahh, so the prayers come out of his ass! That explains the constipated look and the scrunching. CMC fnord ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/33 "2006-03-04T04:37:20Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’d just like to know why he looks constipated when he’s praying. I don’t know about ol’ Pat, but Robert Tilton here has a pretty good reason to make faces. [Linky](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2453217212869715744&q=farting+preacher) ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/34 "2006-03-04T04:52:20Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > I don’t know about ol’ Pat, but Robert Tilton here has a pretty good reason to make faces. [Linky](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2453217212869715744&q=farting+preacher) Aside from the farting, he sounds like he is high. “Dude, Jesus is sooooo cooool.” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/35 "2006-03-04T05:17:28Z")
I like how he pronounces “lord” as “lahrd”. “The lard is goooood!” ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/36 "2006-03-04T06:05:17Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’d just like to know why he looks constipated when he’s praying. I’m by no means a Biblical scholar, but I remember being taught many moons ago that among the artifacts carried around in the Ark of the Covenant were some of the piles with which the Lord smote the Philistines (or whoever). The Israelites gilded these mementos and added them to their stash. You don’t suppose that ol’ Reverend Robertson _found_ the Ark, and some of the treasures found their way . . . ---
**Author:** ![Jotun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/46a35a/32.png) [@Jotun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jotun)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/37 "2006-03-04T08:19:06Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > I don’t know about ol’ Pat, but Robert Tilton here has a pretty good reason to make faces. [Linky](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2453217212869715744&q=farting+preacher) I think I’d actually go to church if Robert Tilton was the pastor, or reverend. It would be quite entertaining. I’d join the choir. I can play “Go Tell It On The Mountain” with my armpit! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/38 "2006-03-04T13:22:03Z")
I’m in favor of a la carte programming as well, it would make my channel surfing a lot easier as well… then again, the first thing i did when setting up my TV channels after the TV did it’s auto-programming was to go through and delete the crap i’d never watch from the tuner… home shopping crap religious channels C-Span and msnbc (regular NBC can stay, but MSNBC has _no_ place on my tv) ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/39 "2006-03-04T14:11:47Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > I don’t know about ol’ Pat, but Robert Tilton here has a pretty good reason to make faces. [Linky](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2453217212869715744&q=farting+preacher) OMG! You owe me a new keyboard! I haven’t laughed that hard in ages! I needed that! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![the\_PC\_apeman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac8455/32.png) [@the\_PC\_apeman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_PC_apeman)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799/40 "2006-03-04T15:47:24Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > I’m in favor of a la carte programming as well, it would make my channel surfing a lot easier as well… > > then again, the first thing i did when setting up my TV channels after the TV did it’s auto-programming was to go through and delete the crap i’d never watch from the tuner… > > home shopping crap > religious channels > C-Span > and msnbc (regular NBC can stay, but MSNBC has _no_ place on my tv) This was one of my first thoughts too but I doubt a la carte would change much. I’d be very surprised if the chosen channels get renumbered sequentially - we’ll just have static or a test pattern on unchosen channels. Hope for static so the auto-programming will save us the step of manually skipping the undesirables. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-la-carte-cable-pat-robertsons-scared-that-people-wont-pay-to-watch-him/346799.md?page=1)