I am sure you have seen “Grease”? Remember words that Frenchy(the beauty school drop out) used “A girl can only trust her daddy.”
Seriously thought this is what she told me about this subject, “if a guy is not willing to wait to marry me than he is not worth my time either.”
Ben,
To answer your question without getting to lengthy why not just read Matthew to them. And explain it to them. Now of course they are going to ask you if you believe. I think you should be honest and say no(I take it you are an atheist if I am wrong forgive me). But then you tell them that it is your choice and that you accept the consequences of that action if you are wrong. But since nobody has ever been able to get the “straight dope” on what happens when you die you in fact could be wrong. So it is a choice that everyone needs to make on their own. And if they choose to believe, you will love them just the same. How’s that?
Dr J,
First I always the way you post and the info you provide. Now to answer you question I have already told the oldest one about birth control before she asked. Can doctors really prescribe birth control pills without the parents knowing?
Bill–yes, BCP’s can be prescribed without parental consent. Laws vary by state, but in general teenagers do not need consent for birth control or for treatment of drug abuse or STD’s, and all such information is bound by patient-doctor confidentiality.
I would encourage teenagers to discuss these things with their parents, but I would understand if they weren’t comfortable doing so. (I wouldn’t have been, and still wouldn’t be, despite a wonderful relationship with my parents.)
A thinly disguised threat of an eternity spent in a lake of fire. Great. That’ll help a child make an objective decision.
When you start reading Neitzsche and Marx to your kids, then you can expect Ben to read Matthew to his.
And Esprix: I never thought I’d be glad to inspire a thread in the Pit. . .
WB, I just want to comment on a few factual issues brought up by your recent posts.
Atheism does not necessarily imply disbelief in an afterlife. It means the individual does not believe in any god. That’s all. Some religions do not require a belief in a God, but do teach that there’s an afterlife. Some atheists are total skeptics and materialists, while others believe in all sorts of supernatural stuff (though in my experience this is rare).
Abiogenesis is the theory that life came from non-life. While many may adhere to this theory and evolution, it is NOT a feature of evolutionary theory. The theory of evolution begins with the hypothesis that life exists, and merely describe the evolution of that pre-existing life.
Evolution does not imply a disbelief in gods, or in the Christian God specifically. It is only inconsistent with a belief that Genesis is 100% literally true. Many Christians do not hold this belief.
The Big Bang theory describes how the universe as we know it came to be. It is not part of the theory of evolution, or connected to abiogenesis.
You can believe in Jehovah and evolution. You can believe the theory of evolution to be true, and reject the theory of abiogenesis. You can believe both those theories to be true, and reject the Big Bang theory. Heck you could believe the Big Bang is described in Genesis in allegorical terms, and reject abiogenesis and evolution. You can mix and match. They are separate theories.
Catholics are Christians. Maybe by your definition, they are not “good” Christians, or not “saved,” but they do believe that Jesus Christ was the son of God, and was a substitutive sacrifice for human sin, and rose from the dead on the third day and took his place in heaven.
I will read Matthew aloud to my children, explaining in detail where I can, and consulting experts where I cannot.
In exchange for which, you will read one of the following aloud to your children:
the Bhagavad Gita,
the Dhammapada,
the Zendavesta,
any 100 pages from the Qu’ran,
the Analects of Confucius,
the Satanic Bible,
the Tao Te Ch’ing,
the Tao of Pooh,
or any 100 pages from the Book of Mormon,
explaining in detail where you can and consulting experts where you cannot. With the same open mind you would ask of me, or Ben.
You see, this is a challenge I’ll not have to fulfil. After your challenge to Ben about teaching Christianity to his kids, he asked you if you would teach your children from the Qu’ran. You said yes, you would. I do not think you meant to say that.
Therefore, the moment you teach your kids thing one about any other faith or lack thereof, I will immediately teach my children about your religion.
Fair enough?
“For hatred does not cease by hatred at any time: hatred ceases by love–this is an old rule.”
I see, we’re parenting by the movies now. I’m sorry, I must not have gotten the memo.
So, your daughter is telling you “if the guy is not willing to wait to marry me, than he is not worth my time, either”.
A. That doesn’t completely answer my query to you - her beloved daddy acted like those other beasts with girls before mommy???
B. At what point does this ‘willing to wait’ kick in? cousinly pecks on the cheek? tongue? groping over clothes? groping under clothes? mutual masturbation? oral sex? ?? And since you’ve not wanted her to have information other than “wait until marriage”, how is she to know where that little line gets drawn? “oh, baby, it’s not really sex if you put it in your mouth”. Or do you intend to have that conversation with her as well?
What incredible arrogance! You actually think that it’s my responsibility to proselytize for a religion that I personally believe to be obviously and demonstrably wrong?
Look, WB, you have an obvious double standard. My proof? Simple:
What did you teach them about the Koran?
I strongly suspect that you don’t have the foggiest idea what the Koran actually says.
The thing that kills me about wait until marriage is because some people end up getting married then too soon, and they still aren’t ready for sex. I mean, what’s worse-a fourteen year old girl getting married and having sex with her fifteen year old hubby, or an unmarried, mature, ready for sex couple having sex in their twenties?
I mean, now, let’s NOT knock people for wanting to wait until they are married. What’s wrong with that-if that is how they feel, then fine. NO ONE should have sex before they want to. No one.
However, it’s not about the whole why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free…or whatever.
Look, sex and love are not mutually exclusive, Bill. Nor do they always go together. It’s a complicated issue, and no one can decide for another person when that person should have sex.
(although, I think you mentioned your daughter is fourteen-in my mind, that IS way too young to be having sex…hell, I was still playing with Barbies when I was fourteen…)
And a girl can only trust her daddy? Um, what about girls whose fathers treat them like dirt, or who abuse them, or who just aren’t very caring fathers?
I’m lucky-I have a great father, and I’m extremely grateful. Not everyone is.
WB, I think that the most important skill I learned in high school can be summed up in the expression “Measure twice, cut once.” Before I handed back a test, I would look over it in order to make sure I hadn’t made any simple errors. Before I handed in a paper, I proofread it in order to make sure I had communicated effectively and hadn’t made any grammatical errors or typos. It seems to me that for all your talk of responsibility, you haven’t grasped the idea that if something is important to you, you need to make an effort to measure twice, cut once. To wit:
You can’t be bothered to be careful about your posts. You clearly aren’t even skimming over your own posts once before you hit “submit”; I counted five careless errors in the post I quoted, and that’s entirely typical of your writing. Since many people here have a rather low opinion of your intelligence already, don’t you think it would be wise to look over a post rather than blindly sending it out so that other people will see your mistakes before you do? Don’t you think that you should, if only as a courtesy to others, check to make sure that you haven’t mangled what you were trying to say by leaving out a verb here and there? But it’s understandable that you wouldn’t check your posts, because…
You can’t be bothered to be careful about your wife. To me, the responsible way to handle birth control is to sit down with one’s wife and read up on all the information you can get your hands on about the different methods, what their pluses and minuses are, and how effective they are. You, on the other hand, seem to have chosen the birth control method that made your penis feel nicest, and then determined its efficacy not by reading Dr. Ruth, but by trial and error. I mean, it’s like a bad joke. Is there anything worse chosen by trial and error than contraception? Maybe a suicide method? Or perhaps a mohel? But it’s understandable that you wouldn’t bother to make sure that your wife is safe from unwanted pregnancies, because…
You can’t be bothered to learn about your religion. For all that you believe that you are a soldier in a cosmic war between ultimate Good and ultimate Evil with the stakes being an eternity of torment or bliss for billions of souls, you never put forth the effort to figure out what the battle plan is. Some fundies, when asked to support their positions, can quote chapter and verse. Others can point to a particular chapter of the Bible and tell you the gist of what they feel it says. Some can only tell you that their opinions are supported by the Bible. You, on the other hand, voice a strong opposition to anal sex, and when asked why, you say well, er, I guess it’s in the Bible, or not, or maybe it’s ok, or something. Similarly, you think that evolution is a tool of the devil- but you’ve never studied it. In the most important war of all time, you can’t be bothered to say “Halt! Friend or foe?” Instead, you just pop off a few rounds at random, with your eyes closed. And as a result, even if you are right about evolution, you make Christianity look dumb because you can’t defend your position beyond spouting a lot of ridiculous gabble about monkeys frozen in ice.
WB, if you really believe what you say, then I think that the best change you can make in yourself is to take to heart the idea that if it’s important to you, it’s important enough to be careful about. If it’s important, then it’s important enough for you to make an effort. If you really care about your wife, then you should run and get a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves before you have sex again, read up on birth control, and choose a method that works before your luck runs out. If you really care about serving General Jesus to the best of your ability, then you should ask the people here to suggest a good book on evolution for you, if only so that you can better prove evolution wrong.
Very thoughtfully and intelligently written. Your points are all important and sensible. Unfortunately, WB will never comprehend them. His type has serious aversions to common sense, toughtfulness and intelligence.
