# A lesbian is raped and gets pregnant. What is the "best" thing to do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 28, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763 "2010-01-28T14:59:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/81 "2010-01-29T08:20:53Z")
I’m prolife, so I hope she’d have the baby if she can cope with it, but if she then keeps it or gives it to another family, those are both reasonable choices. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/82 "2010-01-29T08:35:59Z")
What if her newborn baby is Hitler? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/83 "2010-01-29T08:48:18Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Oh yeah- and can we throw in that I believe the rapist should be castrated or executed? This might actually be one of the few cases where I might stay an execution. If the victim chooses to have the pregnancy, it might be considered cheating her out of a due source of child support by sending the rapist to the gallows. On the other hand, it might not actually be worth much to send her the proceeds from someone sewing Nikes together, turning a treadmill, or breaking rocks into gravel for the next sixty years. Stripping and selling off a cadaver might turn a better profit. At least enough to pay for tuition. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/84 "2010-01-29T10:22:36Z")
> [@Vihaga](#): > > No, there’s nothing wrong with this specific baby. But rape isn’t something I’d want to select for, on a larger scale. If someone only breeds because they rape someone, rape is a selective advantage for them. Does it matter on a small scale if it only rarely happens? Not at all. However, if it happens enough, it is an advantage. > > Personally, passing on your genes through someone without their consent is even more horrifying to me than “just” a rape (which is horrifying enough), because I couldn’t bear thinking that the rapist had not only had sex with me against my will but used me as an incubator as well. It has nothing to do with the baby, but it’s why I’d abort the fetus. This is my thinking as well. I don’t think that the offspring of a rapist will necessarily rape, but I do think that the (male) offspring of a rapist is more likely to rape than the offspring of a non-rapist. I don’t think that a proclivity to rape is something that we should select for. Bad behavior, criminal behavior, should be punished, and not rewarded in any way. Rapists should not experience any positive outcomes from their crimes. I’m really unable to vote in this poll, because I simply don’t have enough facts. However, I’d urge the woman to abort if she felt that she wouldn’t regret it afterwards. I understand that some women would be more traumatized by an abortion than by a rape, and that’s why I don’t declare that all rapists’ offspring be aborted. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/85 "2010-01-29T10:41:59Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I’m just kind of wary of attitudes like that. I mean, obviously this guy is a scumbag, but when you phrase it like that, what is the child of rape going to think if he or she ever finds out? If I heard something like that, I’d probably just think it meant I was worthless because of who my father was. > > Though it does make me wonder–how many people are children of rapists. Not how many people are the product of rape, but how many people’s fathers have at some point committed rape? My grandfather is a certified son of a bitch and sex addict with no incest taboo, but that doesn’t mean I want my brothers or my cousins or myself dead. The sonabitch is not the only… individual who contributed genes to us, and he certainly isn’t the sum total of us. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/86 "2010-01-29T13:38:10Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > This is my thinking as well. > > I don’t think that the offspring of a rapist will necessarily rape, but I do think that the (male) offspring of a rapist is more likely to rape than the offspring of a non-rapist. I don’t think that a proclivity to rape is something that we should select for. Bad behavior, criminal behavior, should be punished, and not rewarded in any way. Rapists should not experience any positive outcomes from their crimes. But do we even know this to be true? Is proclivity to rape something in the genes? I figure it’s probably a combination of factors–both environmental and genetic. Don’t get me wrong–I don’t think that a woman has an obligation to do anything either way. She should abort if that’s what she wants, not because the child is likely to be a rapist. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/87 "2010-01-29T16:10:42Z")
An abortion has life long ramifications, emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically, for the mother. Surrendering a child to adoption has life long ramifications for the emotional and mental well being of the mother. Raising a child has life long ramifications, emotionally, mentally, physically, financially for the mother and her spouse. Raising the child of a rape can have ramifications, emotionally, mentally for the mother, spouse and child. Only the individual facing those ‘life long ramifications’ gets to decide what is right for them. To stand in judgment of that choice, in any way shape or form, is pure hubris. ---
**Author:** ![yuliya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/f6c823/32.png) [@yuliya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yuliya)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/88 "2010-01-29T16:29:38Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > Ditto. > > To be precise, I call myself a 95% pro-lifer. Rape is in that 5% category where I’m pro-choice. This is something that, as a pro-choice person, I have never understood. Pro-lifers believe the fetus is a baby, so how is it less of a baby if it was the product of rape? If you think a fetus is an innocent human life, how does the fact that it’s a product of rape make it okay to abort it? ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/89 "2010-01-29T19:38:33Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > What if her newborn baby is Hitler? Or Tim Tebow? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/90 "2010-01-29T19:54:14Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > If anti-abortion people could “mind their own business,” there would be no abortion debate. It’s legal and it’s going to stay legal. If you don’t like it, picket Washington but stop the terroristic tactics of harrasing women, picketing clincs, and killing people. I agree that your last thought, stopping killing people, is appropriate. But as for the idea that picketing clinics is inappropriate - sorry, there I disagree. The courts have held that this is a valid and legal activity. As long as the picketteers are obeying the law, good for them. And the same goes for whatever conduct you imagine “harrassing” women to entail. If it’s in fact illegal harrassment, then yes, of course, it should stop. if it’s the osrt of legal conduct permitted of picketteers, then I don’t agree they should stop. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/91 "2010-01-29T19:55:30Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > This is my thinking as well. > > I don’t think that the offspring of a rapist will necessarily rape, but I do think that the (male) offspring of a rapist is more likely to rape than the offspring of a non-rapist. Do you have any data to support this view? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/92 "2010-01-29T19:58:06Z")
As to the question posed in the OP: her sexuality is not relevant. I would not urge her to abort, but I can certainly understand her inclination to do so, and would not criticize her for doing so. Beyond that, if she (and her partner) are comfortable raising a child that might remind her of a terrible experience, then there’s no reason she shouldn’t, as a single mom or as part of her relationship. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/93 "2010-01-29T20:00:35Z")
From first to last, I’d pick **d** , **b** , **c** , **e** and finally, **a**. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/94 "2010-01-29T20:04:20Z")
> [@yuliya](#): > > This is something that, as a pro-choice person, I have never understood. Pro-lifers believe the fetus is a baby, so how is it less of a baby if it was the product of rape? If you think a fetus is an innocent human life, how does the fact that it’s a product of rape make it okay to abort it? Not all of us believe it **is** morally neutral. I don’t. It’s often the only solution to a horrible problem that a woman can deal with, but it doesn’t make the baby aborted any less human than another one. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/95 "2010-01-29T20:16:11Z")
> [@yuliya](#): > > This is something that, as a pro-choice person, I have never understood. Pro-lifers believe the fetus is a baby, so how is it less of a baby if it was the product of rape? If you think a fetus is an innocent human life, how does the fact that it’s a product of rape make it okay to abort it? Who thinks it’s OK? The baby is a human being, but it depends on another human being’s sacrifice of time, health, and energy in order to live. If you walk by a pond and see someone drowning, you’re under no obligation to help them. But if you start to try to help them, you’re under an obligation to not just stop and walk away. If a rape victim chooses to abort the baby that resulted from her rape, it’s unfortunate for the child, an innocent victim, but it’s an understandable albeit tragic reaction from the mother. Nowhere in that analysis do you find “It’s OK.” ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/96 "2010-01-29T23:00:45Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Er, do you have any evidence for this? I’m sure rape has happened quite a bit during the history of it, but why do you think that it was ALL about rape? Rape happens in the animal world, too, but it doesn’t dominate. If I have to dig up a cite, then you’re taking my response too seriously. But since you asked, off the top of my head, Genghis Khan and his men raped a lot of women. And now 20%\* of the human race carries their genes. I imagine this happened at least once before that. \*…or whatever > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I was one of those who was wary of saying that…but this analogy definitely is squicking me out. There’s nothing wrong with being black and there definitely is something wrong with being a rapist. Finding out your father who you never met was a black man isn’t–or shouldn’t be-- a horrifying thing. Finding out your father raped your mother…that is horrifying, even if I don’t think it reflects on the child at all. Then you’ve misunderstood the analogy. It’s not that rape:black, it’s son of rapist:son of black. If I said “Abort the baby because he’d be born black.” you’d be able to see my error. If I said “Abort the baby because he’d be the son of a rapist.” it’s the same error. Put simply, I don’t agree that finding out that you’re the product of rape would cause you to go “Oh, I wish I’d never been born!” > [@yuliya](#): > > This is something that, as a pro-choice person, I have never understood. Pro-lifers believe the fetus is a baby, so how is it less of a baby if it was the product of rape? If you think a fetus is an innocent human life, how does the fact that it’s a product of rape make it okay to abort it? Because we don’t all believe that life is sacred _enough_ to save it. That’s how we can simultaneously hate abortion but support the death penalty and war. Sometimes it’s OK to take life. You shouldn’t assume that when a person says they’re pro-life that they mean abortion is always wrong. In this woman’s case, I think she should have the baby. But if she lacked the…erm, “courage”…to do it, I’d understand completely. I wouldn’t be able to do it myself, nor could I watch a family member keep that baby. But that’s because I’m fallible, not because I think it’s right. ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/97 "2010-01-29T23:42:42Z")
Personally, I’d abort, because the idea of carrying and giving birth to a constant reminder of my rape is completely abhorrent to me. But **MsWhatsit** got it right. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/98 "2010-01-30T01:00:56Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > I want to make sure we’re not equating all anti-abortion folks with the morons giving the unsolicited advice in the OP. At least a couple of us in this thread have identified as anti-abortion and indicated that we respect the mother’s choice to raise the child with her partner. Thank you for pointing this out. I am against abortion but I have no problem with gay people parenting kids. There are a lot of crazy heterosexuals out there who probably shouldn’t be raising kids and a lot of good-hearted gay folks who would make great parents. I am also skeptical of the idea that a child will be forever branded with the evildoing their parents committed. Lots of women have kids with abusive men, and yet we don’t generally assume that a woman who leaves an abusive relationship will want to be rid of the kids because they will remind her of the bad relationship with the father. I tend to think violent behavior is more of an environmentally learned response than genetically innate. ---
**Author:** ![zelie\_zelerton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/59ef9b/32.png) [@zelie\_zelerton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zelie_zelerton)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/99 "2010-01-30T01:38:20Z")
You know, there’s an awfully high number of people who voted abortion but who haven’t commented explaining that decision. So would anyone care to explain? Is it because of the mother’s sexuality, the perception that the baby will grow up evil/a rapist, the perception that the rapist somehow wins if the child lives and his genes are passed on? Or is it more of a personal thing where you are considering how you would act in that situation? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/100 "2010-01-30T01:46:25Z")
Upon **Annie** ’s clarification, I’d suggest abortion then. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763.md?page=6)