# A lesbian is raped and gets pregnant. What is the "best" thing to do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 28, 2010, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763 "2010-01-28T14:59:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/101 "2010-01-30T02:01:06Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > Not every ER provides emergency contraception to rape victims. Often these hospitals are affliated with a certion religious organization that shall remain nameless. True, but there is nothing preventing that woman from calling her personal ob/gyn and requesting the pill, or requesting the police or ambulance to transport her to a hospital whose name isn’t waving a religious flag. ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/102 "2010-01-30T02:03:55Z")
“None of my business” should definitely be an option. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/103 "2010-01-30T02:21:46Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Didn’t the ER give her a morning after pill? How do we know she went to the ER? ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/104 "2010-01-30T02:24:57Z")
> [@zelie\_zelerton](#): > > You know, there’s an awfully high number of people who voted abortion but who haven’t commented explaining that decision. So would anyone care to explain? Is it because of the mother’s sexuality, the perception that the baby will grow up evil/a rapist, the perception that the rapist somehow wins if the child lives and his genes are passed on? Or is it more of a personal thing where you are considering how you would act in that situation? I didn’t actually vote because I didn’t think any of the options sufficed for the situation–but I, personally, would choose abortion, for reasons I explained in my last post. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/105 "2010-01-30T02:38:41Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > How do we know she went to the ER? We don’t. Seeking medical attention after being assaulted, especially if you are a female who has been sexually assaulted and are of child-bearing age, would be the sensible thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/106 "2010-01-30T02:59:07Z")
I didn’t answer the poll itself because there wasn’t an option saying the best thing for a pregnant lesbian to do is decide on the basis of her own life, plans, skills, stability, support, and so forth, whether to bring a person into the world, and whether to raise the person, and whom (if anybody) to do it with. If it helps anyone to whom it isn’t obvious, you could pretend that lesbians are real, normal human beings, and think about what a real, normal, human being should do. Also, the poll doesn’t ask about the same situation the thread title does. In the case of a lesbian who is pregnant because they are raped, the answer would be the same, plus there would be a large component of emergency and longer term help in dealing with a big assault in all the ways that would be appropriate. Again, anybody who isn’t following might try substituting the phrase “real, normal, human being” to see if that clarifies things. For some reason this poll has set me off, and I haven’t even read any of the posts. If this is offending anybody, I apologize. Well, except people that think lesbians should do what polls say. Anybody else, I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/107 "2010-01-30T03:10:36Z")
Hmmm. Well, it still doesn’t sit quite right with me, this poll. I think it’s the idea, especially not even proposed but just sort of left implicit, that a scenario of strangers conferring about what our supposed rape victim ought to do is even possibly appropriate. Even the built-in idea of passing judgement about whether an entire demographic should have or raise children seems vile. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/108 "2010-01-30T12:27:36Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > This particular situation was more complicated than I made it out to be, because the man was from a fundie Christian family who argued that “If a lesbian can be a good mother, a rapist can be a good father.” They threatened a court battle for “father’s rights,” but the mother called their bluff (it happened in California) and the issue died. I don’t think the jails are filled with lesbians … Wait a second…that came out funny. I think the fundie family is way off center here. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/109 "2010-01-30T15:09:28Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I know of other women who have chosen not to press charges against their rapists. We’re talknig 21st century women here. I am not an assault survivor, but those I’ve spoken with who chose to press charges have frequently told me about the horrible things they’ve been put through by the criminal justice system. I can understand why an assault survivor would choose not to press charges, if for them that is the choice that best meets their needs for mental, physical, and emotional well-being. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/110 "2010-01-30T17:08:49Z")
I’m not inclined to ever think that abortion is the best choice, although in such a case it would be understandable. Beyond that, I’m a firm believer that whatever the mother wants to do is what should be done. If she’d like to keep the baby, good for her. If she wants to give it up for adoption, good for her. And whoever she thinks is appropriate to give it to is who it should be given to…I believe in birth parents having complete autonomy in that decision, if they want it. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/111 "2010-01-31T00:11:36Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > I am not an assault survivor, but those I’ve spoken with who chose to press charges have frequently told me about the horrible things they’ve been put through by the criminal justice system. I can understand why an assault survivor would choose not to press charges, if for them that is the choice that best meets their needs for mental, physical, and emotional well-being. I wonder what they’d do if an assailant tried to _murder_ them, but they both got away. Or just committed a little aggravated [mayhem](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayhem_%28crime%29). ---
**Author:** ![StoutHearted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@StoutHearted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StoutHearted)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/112 "2010-01-31T01:55:38Z")
Abortion isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. It would entirely be up to the person going through the ordeal. I’m pro-choice, but would never tell a person what is best for their life. I’m pro-choice because I believe each woman should should for herself what’s the best thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763/113 "2010-01-31T03:42:34Z")
I voted “Have the child and give it to a straight couple.” Seems the best thing to do… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-lesbian-is-raped-and-gets-pregnant-what-is-the-best-thing-to-do/526763.md?page=5)