No. But the OP made me pick and order, so that’s what I came up with. And I took it as implied that the straight couple were decent folk. I’m not saying that I would say “Come on Mom. Do the right thing. Give up the baby.” I’m more saying something along the lines that it would have been better for me to be Bill Gates’s kid than my parents. That says nothing about my parent’s ability to raise kids.
To be honest, I’m thinking the entire human race was built from rapists. It usually involved clubs and caves.
But I, too, am wary of people that think that products of rape would hate themselves if they found out. It really says something about the speaker, not the kid. It tells me that the person is willing to look down on another person because of who the latter’s parents are.
I mean, what would you think of me if I said “Black people just shouldn’t have babies. I mean, could you imagine growing up and finding out that you were black?! You’d hate yourself!” Uh, either that or you’d be cool with it because you’re…well, you. There are, after all, no shortage of people that had crappy parents and aren’t full of self-hate because of it.
No, there’s nothing wrong with this specific baby. But rape isn’t something I’d want to select for, on a larger scale. If someone only breeds because they rape someone, rape is a selective advantage for them. Does it matter on a small scale if it only rarely happens? Not at all. However, if it happens enough, it is an advantage.
Personally, passing on your genes through someone without their consent is even more horrifying to me than “just” a rape (which is horrifying enough), because I couldn’t bear thinking that the rapist had not only had sex with me against my will but used me as an incubator as well. It has nothing to do with the baby, but it’s why I’d abort the fetus.
It all depends on the situation. What best in one case (in a committed long-term relationship, with two steady jobs) would not be best in another (unattached and unemployed). Without knowing more, I didn’t vote.
I didn’t vote or read the rest of the thread. How can this question possibly be answered without knowing anything about the woman’s circumstances or her own wishes? And except for the gender of her possible partner, how is it relevant that she’s a lesbian? So the only answer is: It’s not my place, or anyone else’s, to tell her what to do.
Er, do you have any evidence for this? I’m sure rape has happened quite a bit during the history of it, but why do you think that it was ALL about rape? Rape happens in the animal world, too, but it doesn’t dominate.
I was one of those who was wary of saying that…but this analogy definitely is squicking me out. There’s nothing wrong with being black and there definitely is something wrong with being a rapist. Finding out your father who you never met was a black man isn’t–or shouldn’t be-- a horrifying thing. Finding out your father raped your mother…that is horrifying, even if I don’t think it reflects on the child at all.
I voted “have the child w/lesbian partner” but that assumes she wants to have the child regardless of the father and life isn’t going to be one traumatic reminder thereafter. Otherwise, abortion is the next alternative, but whatever she *wants *to do is OK.
She should of course do what she feels is the best for her.
If I were in her shoes I think I would either take an abortion or give the child up for adoption. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to love the child enough knowing who it’s father was.
My preference would be to let the child be born. Then either keep it or give it up, whichever she feels the need to do. If she’s okay with raising the baby, then more power to her. If not, then there must be someone out there who would love it and be happy to have it in their family. I don’t think it would be in the best interest of the child to grow up in the family of its biological father.
Of course, unless she was a good friend and actually asked me, I wouldn’t say anything about any of it to her, except maybe, “What a cute baby,” if she decided to keep it.
You need to aim higher! An ideal society with no rapists at all!
Like others I couldn’t choose – she should do what she wishes, with input from her partner. Personally I can’t imagine being able to go through with that pregnancy. I know women who *wanted * children and still felt a lack of control when they were pregnant and gave birth (and, of course, now that they’ve got kids). And I’ve known women who have had trouble looking at a child who reminds them of an abusive ex-spouse.
And it will come out, eventually. Maybe not until the kid is grown up, but the child will find out where they came from, and I imagine it will be pretty traumatizing.
But if a woman feels that having a child will allow something good to come out of evil, then so be it. Everyone’s different. Maybe that’s what she needs to heal. And she has the right to change her mind.
Not every ER provides emergency contraception to rape victims. Often these hospitals are affliated with a certion religious organization that shall remain nameless.
Even if it’s a stanger rape the rapist will find out about the pregnancy if he’s caught.
Since I started all this…I think a society with no rapists whatsodamnever is utopian. One in which all women are capable of overpowering all potential rapists, and capable of telepathically knowing when they should and should not do so violently, is fantabulous.
Gotta go w/ the **MsWhatsit **Answer. It’s a damn good one.
Better than “none of my business” which is a cop out, but “It’s up to woman/relationship to decide what’s best for them” pretty much hits it in one.
other: do what ever the hell she wants, not what I would do.
I may be pro life, but I will never tell another woman what to do with her own body. It is entirely up to her how she wants to handle it. I can see wanting to abort it, I can see wanting to have it and give it up, and I can see keeping it and raising it and there is no difference between single and with a lesbian partner. I do not know any proper partner who would refuse to raise a child with their partner no matter how it was concieved.
To be precise, I call myself a 95% pro-lifer. Rape is in that 5% category where I’m pro-choice.
Add to that, that I generally believe the ideal situation for a child is to be raised by a stable, nurturing mother & father, if at all possible.
BUT the woman got raped and chose to have the child, which is pretty damn heroic, and so her raising the child with her lesbian partner should not be questioned by anyone else.
And again, a boot up the butts of any anti-abortion folk who tell her otherwise!
Oh yeah- and can we throw in that I believe the rapist should be castrated or executed?
All in all, I agree with the trend of the thread. In a complex and tragic situation like this, the one person best able to decide is the mother.
But I question at least the wording of Kyla’s comment. Should such a decision be made based on the mother’s “own desires?” This is a very heavy moral crossroad in a life. Ought a person only concern him (her) self with what they themselves want as opposed to what they perceive as morally right?