# A Letter To My Child-Abusing Neighbor **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2004, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834 "2004-12-03T02:20:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/41 "2004-12-08T12:38:14Z")
> [@DtC](#): > > You should also know that CPS workers are not just out to steal people’s children. They are trained to look for ways to preserve families first Absolutely true! Personal anecdote: a vindictive neighbor called CPS on us (because my daughter had accused her son of stealing some of her YuGiOh cards; I know it was that neighbor because of a particular complaint). The CPS worker came on one of the days that the house was at its _worst_ (and I’ve taken steps since then to see that it never gets that bad again), and said some cleaning up was needed; however she was most concerned about the bedroom my oldest daughters shared. She said with all the clothes on the floor, it was a fire hazard. I said I knew my daughters were messy, but part of the problem was that our house has no closets and they didn’t have adequate dresser space, and we didn’t have money for more dressers. Part of the complaint was that the kids didn’t have adequate bedding, and there were springs poking through the mattress. Well, that was true on the day the one neighbors’ child was visiting, and a spring tore her shorts, but we had since bought an egg crate mattress to help until we could afford a new mattress. The CPS worker told me there were funds available for dressers, and a few days later she took me shopping, and each girl got a new dresser! About a month later, she called and asked if they still needed a mattress. The Holiday Inn had just replaced _all_ of their mattresses, and CPS had gladly taken all the ones that were still good. We had to go to a worker’s house, and pick out a mattress that was still in excellent shape. For a couple of days after we got the dressers, I went around saying, loudly, “Boy, I don’t know who reported us to CPS, but I’m sure glad they did, because now we have two new dressers!” 😃 CPS does not _want_ to take the children, they want to do what is in the children’s best interest. I’m certain there are some workers who _always_ think taking the children is the best thing, and others who think that’s _never_ the best thing, but most of them look at it as a necessary last resort, I believe, and try everything else first. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/42 "2004-12-08T13:16:20Z")
I worked for our local Children & Youth office for three months as a temp last year, and my impression was that they bend over backwards to keep the families together, sometimes to the point where I (transcribing dictation for caseworkers) wondered in some cases why the hell the kids were still with the parents. It definitely takes a strong stomach and an idealistic worldview to work for CPS/CYA for very long. Some of those case records were horror stories. ---
**Author:** ![AsecretK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ab992/32.png) [@AsecretK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AsecretK)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/43 "2004-12-08T13:48:38Z")
My ex husband was reported once for not supervising my daughter while she was playing outside at his home when she was visiting for the weekend. I assume his neighbor called on him. I think it was the right decision as it was reported that she was playing in the street unsupervised, she was four at the time. I was contacted even though the incident did not happen in my home. I did return at least a dozen calls to the social worker but she never returned my calls. Six moths later I got a certified letter stating that I was in danger of losing my children if I did not contact them. I again called and still no return call. I finally got a hold of the main operator and I insisted to speak to a supervisor. I was then told that the worker that was handling the case at that time was out on medical leave and that is why I never got any return calls months ago. I don’t know why there was not another case worker assigned to her cases. I assume a different case worker was the one following up and sent the certified letter but the information on the letter was the same case worker from before. I can only imagine the poor children that were in danger and needed that social workers assistance. I am not blaming the social worker for having to take medical leave but the system in general for not making sure her cases where followed up in a more timely manner. By the time the certified letter came I had moved to another county and the case was then transferred to them. With in two weeks a case worker was at my home and inspecting it to make sure I had food and the kids had proper clothes and beds. They also spoke to the kids about the incident but so much time had passed that neither of them really remember it. To this day do not understand why I was inspected as the incident did not happen at my home and I was not the one that put my child in danger. They did not even go to my ex husbands home and he never received any letters. They only spoke with him over the phone about the incident. I knew his home was fine as I saw it every other weekend when I dropped the kids off. He did have a bedroom they shared with separate beds and he always had food and toys for the kids. I think somewhere along the way something went wrong in this case. He never really took the whole thing as anything serious because he never got a letter and his home was not inspected. I can tell you that after I got done with him he had different outlook. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/44 "2004-12-08T14:07:28Z")
One of my closest friends takes in foster children, the toughest cases – abused, physically and sexually, handicapped, retarded – the toughest cases outside of an institutional setting. Her current wards are a seven-year-old boy with cerebral palsy who can barely walk, and such bad seizures that he has to wear a football helmet all the time for protection; and a two-year-old little boy who came to her in a full lower-body cast for broken legs and a history of broken arms. Yup, little “G” had had all his limbs broken and been removed from his mother and her live-in boyfriend. “G” is now healed, happy, and an absolute doll of a child. My friend is dreading the day when the state will start the process of reuniting him with his mother. That’s right – it can’t be proved who beat the crap out of the kid, so his mother will get counseling and training, with the goal that “G” be returned to her. My friend has no illusions about the state’s preference to return children to their natural parents. Another little boy she took in, several years ago, had been whored out to men at the age of two. By his mother. He made a remarkable recovery in my friend’s care – she’s wonderfuly adept at healing the broken – and her adult daughter started the process of adopting “M”. Then the authorities (caseworker? judge?) decided “M” should be reunited with mommy dearest. My friend and her daughter fought as hard as they could – and lost, even though transition meetings of “M” with his mother left the child hysterical and acting out. This story has a happy ending, kind of. After a few months, “M” was in such bad shape emotionally (and abused again? I don’t know) that he was removed again from his mother, and this time she lost custody permanently. Unfortunately, by this point “M” had lost all trust in anyone, even his foster family that had promised him his mother would never get her hands on him again. He’s now been adopted for several years and is a good kid, though his mother’s drug habit while he was in utero has left him with some deficits. But he went through a bad time soon after his adoption, acting out and defiant, testing his security, and it took intensive counseling to win some trust back. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/45 "2004-12-08T14:27:36Z")
Actually, in Georgia and Tennessee back in the 60s, there was a CPS agent and a judge who did in fact steal people’s children – they then sold them for adoption. Disgusting stuff. Not saying that it’s going on now, just that there’s a history there. There are a lot of allegations that stuff like that still goes on, but it’s hard to sort out the wheat from the chaff as much of it comes from “spare the rod” religious types who have had run-ins with CPS. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/46 "2004-12-08T14:48:04Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > …but it’s hard to sort out the wheat from the chaff as much of it comes from “spare the rod” religious types who have had run-ins with CPS. I think this is an image a lot of people have of this kind of conflict, too. However, there is another side to religious involvement in CPS/CYA affairs: Foster care. A good half of our foster parents here in Amish country are Mennonite. (The Amish themselves rarely end up fostering, at least partly because of the limitations of non-motor transportation…there are a LOT of appointments foster kids need to be driven to (parent visits, mandatory doctor appointments, school team meetings for kids with special educational needs, etc.)). I don’t think I’ve ever heard of any child, parent or worker with a complaint about one of the Mennonite fosters. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/47 "2004-12-15T13:24:30Z")
Actually, the state will attempt to remove the children if they are “desirable” adoptees. The reason you see children being returned to the parents is because for whatever reason they are concidered unadoptable. In fact, if you should ever visit dependancy court sometime you will find mostly white people in there because non-white children are concidered too hard to adopt out. As far as putting children with relatives cause it’s cheaper and using foster care as a last resort, totally inaccurate. How do you think the department gets funding? They get a certain amount from the state to put children in foster care and they recieve even more for adopting children out. About have of this money is given to the foster/adopting parents as an allowance, the rest the department keeps. That is why Arnold Schwarzenegger made it in the headlines awhile back. Because he changed California laws so that CPS gets bonus’s for reuniting families instead of tearing them apart. Every other state still gives bonus’s for taking children away. Try checking out your states CPS adoption sites. You will find children being offered up for adoption but being future dated because the parents haven’t lost parental rights YET. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/48 "2004-12-15T13:30:03Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > I’ve seen this lady put her kids out on the metal steps at night in the cold wearing nothing but t-shirts and shorts as punishment. Telling them, as they’re sitting there shivering and crying “Well, it’s your own fault.” Yes, it’s Tucson, but in the winter it gets into the 20’s and 30’s at night. > I’ve heard her screaming profanities at them. I’ve witnessed her being gone from the house for up to 30 minutes, leaving a 7 year-old in charge of three smaller children. I’ve had them knock on MY door to ask me if I knew where their mother was. I’ve heard her beating them- if you heard it, you’d know there’s no mistaking that sound. I’ve seen and heard them running around at 11 or 12 o’clock at night with no supervision. > You can’t tell me there’s ANY question of abuse. I’ve seen and heard it. I’m not saying that the way she is raising them is right. But out of the things you accused I only saw one thing that would be concidered illegal and that is leaving her children alone for 30 minutes. The law states that the children can be left alone for up to 15 minutes. Believe me, I am not defending her actions but I do defend her legal rights. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/49 "2004-12-15T13:34:41Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Really? That’s a very um, “interesting” site. :dubious: > > There was a little girl here in Pittsburgh who was recently starved to death by her moronic “real parents”. She was taken away from her doting foster mother who wanted to adopt her. She had a medical condition that needed constant monitoring. She went back to her parents, AGAINST the reccomendations of her foster mother, and now she’s dead. > > For every case of foster parent abuse, I could find one of biological parent abuse, shithead. Very mature. You are obviously incapable of carying on a intelligent conversation. I posted no flames or insults. I posted simple facts. But because you don’t agree with my facts you result to profanity. I’m sorry but you won’t convince me or anyone else with a brain otherwise by throwing insults. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/50 "2004-12-15T13:40:09Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > And don’t forget Tausha Lanham, who was starved to death by mother and boyfriend while her father and her paternal grandmother pleaded with CYS to do something about the situation. > > When she died at age 7, Tausha Lanham weighed 11 pounds. Her mother was convicted of murder and has been sentenced to death. > > Hopefully CPS in the OP’s situation will be much more effective than they were in Washington County. Don’t forget about Rilya Wilson here in Florida. She was in foster care and for a year the case worker falsified documents claiming to have visited the child in foster care even after the child turned up missing. Rilya Wilson has never been found. DCF lost her. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/51 "2004-12-15T13:52:49Z")
> [@Izzybella](#): > > Wow, that’s surprising. Most states don’t release that information. They will obtain your name, but they don’t release it. At any rate, thank you for calling. You are awesome! > > **Donar** , I fail to see any real research on the site you linked to regarding the culpability of CPS in child death. CPS caseworkers have the hardest job I can imagine. People bash them for doing too much or too little. They’re by and large understaffed, under-funded, overworked, and underpaid. The only press they get is bad press–you never see the success story on the front page, just the stories about how CPS is ineffective. That’s sad because I know plenty of children who’ve been helped by a CPS worker–kids who weren’t lost by the system. CPS caseworkers do an incredibly valuable and important service, but they’re pretty much treated like crap. Most of them really care about what they do and are trying as hard as they can to make a difference even though they frequently get bogged down by policy and bureaucracy. As far as I’m concerned CPS workers (and for that matter anyone who protects people who can’t protect themselves) are my heroes. In that case I would assume I am your hero because I help parents when they can’t help themselves. But I do make them do the work so if they truly care about their children they will fight. Otherwise they don’t fight and lose their children. At least they are given a choice. The site is my site. It is there to document the things I have had to go through with the department when my ex made false allegations. It’s not there to show statistics. I made this site so parents can research the material I used to fight for my rights so they may learn to fight for theirs. The internet is a great research tool and my site is not the only one out there with this type of information. Yes, DCF/CPS is over worked. But it’s because they investigate when they shouldn’t be doing so. My last dealing with the department was last christmas when my ex called claiming that my wife answers the door with dirty feet and dirty clothes. DCF found that reason enough to come out to my house on Christmas day and come out the day after christmas and force they way into my house sans warrent (they still require a warrent to enter your house unwanted) with the cops. The cops had their guns drawn on my open doorway with my children in the living room and they were threatening to shoot my childrens dogs (which were in a separate room in a crate) in front of my children. All could have been avoided if they would figure out that dirty feet and clothes on one of the parents is not abuse. ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/52 "2004-12-15T13:55:15Z")
donar, I suggest you channel your obvious over abundance of energy into: 1. Reforming the system (maybe apply to work as a DCF employee) 2. Starting Foster Parent training. Your talents are obviously wasted on us. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/53 "2004-12-15T14:06:47Z")
> [@Agonist](#): > > Let me start this response by saying I know nothing about CPS other than what I hear on the news. I would, in fact, like to learn more - does anyone have any web sites with actual information, especially on how to learn what CPS policies are and who is responsible for oversight? > > On to my anecdote: > > Five years ago my husband and I had a roommate, a good friend, who was a single mother. When the baby was three months old or so, she took him to the ER because of a fever. While there, someone reported her to CPS. She was told this was because of two things: > > 1. He was underweight - in reality a typo had him listed as two months older than he really was. > 2. He had a bruise on his bottom - in reality a birthmark. > > She explained this to the case worker who contacted her, but it apparently did not help. They sent a “nurse” out to inspect her home. The first visit, the nurse told her “Strike One”. Because there was a roasting pan soaking in the kitchen. The second visit was “Strike Two”. Because her unmade bed was a strangulation risk. > > After Strike Two, my friend simply stopped answering her phone. Eventually they stopped calling. > > She was never given any written instructions, reports, or expectations, as far as I know. She didn’t have any idea what might occur if there ever was a Strike Three. I did some research on the internet, but was not able to find any standards, appeals process, or anything. > > I’m glad nothing ever came of it, but the incident definitely made me nervous of calling on such a powerful, yet faceless, organization. > > This is not to say that \*\*trublmakr \*\* shouldn’t have called CPS in this situation. From what s/he says, it sounds like exactly the right thing to do. I just don’t think it’s what should be done in every situation. [http://www.parentsrights.org/](http://www.parentsrights.org/) [http://www.fww.org/famnews/1292000c.htm](http://www.fww.org/famnews/1292000c.htm) [http://www.angelfire.com/wa/support/](http://www.angelfire.com/wa/support/) [http://www.copaa.net/](http://www.copaa.net/) > **[Yahoo | Mail, Weather, Search, Politics, News, Finance, Sports & Videos](https://www.yahoo.com/)** > > Latest news coverage, email, free stock quotes, live scores and video are just the beginning. Discover more every day at Yahoo! This should be enough to get you started. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/54 "2004-12-15T14:11:41Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > A few weeks ago, someone on this board pointed out that CPS does not “take kids away”. All they can do is present a case to a judge, who then makes the decision, about placement or supervision or whatever. Actually, all dependancy cases are in special court rooms with special judges who “rubber stamp” whatever the department puts in front of them because judges are ELECTED and would not get re-elected if they went against the department. Try sitting in dependancy court some time. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/55 "2004-12-15T14:22:08Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Absolutely true! Personal anecdote: a vindictive neighbor called CPS on us (because my daughter had accused her son of stealing some of her YuGiOh cards; I know it was that neighbor because of a particular complaint). The CPS worker came on one of the days that the house was at its _worst_ (and I’ve taken steps since then to see that it never gets that bad again), and said some cleaning up was needed; however she was most concerned about the bedroom my oldest daughters shared. She said with all the clothes on the floor, it was a fire hazard. I said I knew my daughters were messy, but part of the problem was that our house has no closets and they didn’t have adequate dresser space, and we didn’t have money for more dressers. Part of the complaint was that the kids didn’t have adequate bedding, and there were springs poking through the mattress. Well, that was true on the day the one neighbors’ child was visiting, and a spring tore her shorts, but we had since bought an egg crate mattress to help until we could afford a new mattress. The CPS worker told me there were funds available for dressers, and a few days later she took me shopping, and each girl got a new dresser! About a month later, she called and asked if they still needed a mattress. The Holiday Inn had just replaced _all_ of their mattresses, and CPS had gladly taken all the ones that were still good. We had to go to a worker’s house, and pick out a mattress that was still in excellent shape. > > For a couple of days after we got the dressers, I went around saying, loudly, “Boy, I don’t know who reported us to CPS, but I’m sure glad they did, because now we have two new dressers!” 😃 > > CPS does not _want_ to take the children, they want to do what is in the children’s best interest. I’m certain there are some workers who _always_ think taking the children is the best thing, and others who think that’s _never_ the best thing, but most of them look at it as a necessary last resort, I believe, and try everything else first. On the rare occation the department does do good. However, the fund you are speaking of are called flex funds. When we were being investigated we requested flex funds to fix the “problems” the department saw we were denied. Later we were able to get a copy of our file and found that we were actually approved for funds but never recieved them. Instead DCF kept the money. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/56 "2004-12-15T14:28:28Z")
> [@AsecretK](#): > > My ex husband was reported once for not supervising my daughter while she was playing outside at his home when she was visiting for the weekend. I assume his neighbor called on him. I think it was the right decision as it was reported that she was playing in the street unsupervised, she was four at the time. > > I was contacted even though the incident did not happen in my home. I did return at least a dozen calls to the social worker but she never returned my calls. Six moths later I got a certified letter stating that I was in danger of losing my children if I did not contact them. I again called and still no return call. I finally got a hold of the main operator and I insisted to speak to a supervisor. I was then told that the worker that was handling the case at that time was out on medical leave and that is why I never got any return calls months ago. I don’t know why there was not another case worker assigned to her cases. I assume a different case worker was the one following up and sent the certified letter but the information on the letter was the same case worker from before. I can only imagine the poor children that were in danger and needed that social workers assistance. I am not blaming the social worker for having to take medical leave but the system in general for not making sure her cases where followed up in a more timely manner. > > By the time the certified letter came I had moved to another county and the case was then transferred to them. With in two weeks a case worker was at my home and inspecting it to make sure I had food and the kids had proper clothes and beds. They also spoke to the kids about the incident but so much time had passed that neither of them really remember it. To this day do not understand why I was inspected as the incident did not happen at my home and I was not the one that put my child in danger. They did not even go to my ex husbands home and he never received any letters. They only spoke with him over the phone about the incident. > > I knew his home was fine as I saw it every other weekend when I dropped the kids off. He did have a bedroom they shared with separate beds and he always had food and toys for the kids. > > I think somewhere along the way something went wrong in this case. He never really took the whole thing as anything serious because he never got a letter and his home was not inspected. I can tell you that after I got done with him he had different outlook. In any dependancy case they cannot see only one parent as the culprit. If an allegation is made against only one parent then nine times out of ten the other parent is hit with failure to protect, even if in a different household. Just ask my ex who falsley called on me and was investigated herself. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/57 "2004-12-15T14:41:32Z")
> [@Mynn](#): > > donar, I suggest you channel your obvious over abundance of energy into: > > 1. Reforming the system (maybe apply to work as a DCF employee) > 2. Starting Foster Parent training. > > Your talents are obviously wasted on us. I am working on reforming the system. It is a long and hard battle though. I cannot work as a DCF employee because a call has been made against me. It was dismissed but since it is still on my record I can never work with children in any fasion. This is tramatic for me because i am currently going to school to be a child psychologist. Me and my wife are currently working on a way for parents who have had wrongfull allegations to expunge their records. Someone had mentioned that there is no 3 strike rule. Well, there is, the first 2 times workers are called to the house they do so with prejudice. The third time however they are required to take action reguardless of the outcome of previous allegations. We are also working on creating a workshop for parents to learn the laws that protect them and to help them find the help they may or may not need to better raise their children. But the choise is ultimately theirs, not ours. Talents are never wasted when it means someones eyes are opened. I’m here to educate EVERYONE. For every parent that is educated in these matters we have another potential person that can help to bring reform to pass. ---
**Author:** ![donar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@donar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donar)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/58 "2004-12-15T17:59:18Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Take it to the Pit and try to bring facts and leave your baggage behind. I’m sorry, I was unaware I was not allowed to post my opinion like everyone else here. You are sitting in front of the greatest research tool the world has known, the internet. I can post news stories, statistics, court logs, etc… But I’m sure most people here would not like the fact that it would flood the board. There is simply too many facts to post in one forum. But if you MUST have a fact I’ll give you one, but the road to discovery must be paved by oneself. I cannot do it for you. If you want more you will have to do the research yourself. If you do not want more that is your choice. Denver’s new mayor apologized to Native American couple whose newborn infant was taken by Denver Department of Human Services shortly after birth on the mistaken “belief” the couple was homeless…This case received TV coverage showing the mayor’s apology…BTW, the couple wasn’t homeless…they had lived intheir home for over 3 years… When the hospital social workersquestionedthe Motherthe day after the birth, they mistook her shyness to mean she was secretive…Twig From: the [RockyMountainNews.com](http://RockyMountainNews.com) August 13, 2003 Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper apologized Tuesday to an American Indian couple whose newborn daughter was briefly taken by social workers after she was born. But whether the apology means the city erred is a matter of opinion among those who attended a private meeting Tuesday in the mayor’s office with the Westminster couple and members of the Indian community. {snipped-Lynn} The case has since been transferred to the Adams County Social Services Department. [bartels@RockyMountainNews.com](mailto:bartels@RockyMountainNews.com) or 303-892-5327 ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/59 "2004-12-15T18:02:56Z")
While I appreciate your efforts, **donar** , your “facts” are largely what might be better termed “opinion.” I think your obvious passion has blinded you in many instances, and you use a shotgun when you need a scalpel. I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences. It sucks. I have too. I’ve seen horrible, terrible fuckups by Utah DCFS firsthand. But to focus on the fuckups alone is shortsighted and foolish. ---
**Author:** ![35340](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/8baadc/32.png) [@35340](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/35340)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834/60 "2004-12-15T18:55:48Z")
> [@donar](#): > > I am working on reforming the system. It is a long and hard battle though. > > I cannot work as a DCF employee because a call has been made against me. > > We are also working on creating a workshop for parents to learn the laws that protect them and to help them find the help they may or may not need to better raise their children. But the choise is ultimately theirs, not ours. > > Talents are never wasted when it means someones eyes are opened. I’m here to educate EVERYONE. For every parent that is educated in these matters we have another potential person that can help to bring reform to pass. I didn’t know you’d been victimized by your ex or I wouldn’t have commented in that particular wording. But I concur with others that your site needs more fact based information and you’d best be served by bringing some legal expertise in on your efforts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-child-abusing-neighbor/277834.md?page=4)