# A letter to my childs Kindergarten teacher - your opinions, please. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 28, 2007, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104 "2007-11-28T22:55:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/1 "2007-11-28T22:55:06Z")
Perhaps we’re expecting too much, perhaps we’re not. But we’re not very happy with Sophie’s parochial school for reasons expressed in the following letter. Questions: 1. _Are_ we expecting too much? Both from Sophie and the school? 2. Does the letter come on too strong? 3. Does it sound like we’re getting our money’s worth? Names removed to protect the innocent… > [@](#): > > JohnT and Mrs. JohnT > > School Name > > Dear Teacher: > > God’s blessings be with you and your family this Christmas season. > > We wanted to write in regards to a number of concerns we had with Sophia’s education and intellectual growth. As she has progressed throughout the past half-year at School Name, we are troubled by a number of areas in which she has seemingly _regressed_. It is our fervent hope and desire that we will be able to address these concerns on a personal basis, both in talking to you and improving our abilities as parents. However, we have no desire to “sandbag” you with a list of concerns without your being aware of them prior to our meeting – hence this letter. > > The first, and in our opinion, least important, is her regression in her math skills. Sophia entered school with a minor facility in addition: 2+2=4, 3+4=7, nothing more complicated than that: I do not believe that she understood the concept of subtraction, but she did understand addition. > > However, this small ability is no longer evident in her. When asked an addition question she has taken up the habit of guessing along the number range: “2? 3? 4?..” every single time. This is puzzling, but we are aware that children can and will display signs of regression, where an ability once in display is no longer evident. And if this were the only issue in which we’ve noticed signs of regression, we would not be writing this letter. > > A more troubling sign of regression is her newly-displayed habit of writing many of her letters and numbers backwards. From toddlerhood-onward, Sophia has always loved to draw and we have made it a priority that, since she does enjoy drawing, she should learn to “draw” (print) her letters and numbers (as well as properly hold a pencil), skills that she has worked on since the age of four and fully possessed in her fifth year. > > Unfortunately, we have noticed an increasing likelihood in the past 4 months of her writing her letters and numbers backwards, an apparent display of dyslexia in a child that never shown a tendency towards this problem. As you can imagine, this is particularly vexing as we have believed and known that Sophia entered Kindergarten already possessing the skills and ability needed to begin writing out actual words. > > However, the most disturbing sign of a lack of educational progress on Sophia’s part is her complete inability to phonetically parse out words. She obviously recognizes some words, but if you complement them with closely-spelled homonyms, she will literally guess what the following words are. For example, she recognizes the word “Cat”. However, if you give her the following list: > > 1. Cat > 2. Mat > 3. Hat > 4. Sat > 5. Bat > > She will only get the first word right, while guessing on the others. Her guesses always starts with the first letter (“Maybe?” “Maebh?” (a friend of hers) “Mackie?” (her puppy)), but come nowhere close to being correct. > > This is especially bothersome to her father: Having been taught phonetically to read at the age of four, he is of the opinion that Sophia should at least be able to sound out this list of words and is upset not merely by her inability to do so but that she shows no understanding of the basic concept of sounding out. He has never been a proponent of the whole-language school of reading, believing that many of the concepts involved are more suited towards older children (such as deriving the meaning of a word from its use in a sentence). As English is based upon a phonetic alphabet, he feels that teaching children the phonetic basis of letters and letter-groupings is a far superior method of teaching basic reading skills, even with the number of exceptions (“bough” vs. “tough”) that exist in this language. > > Our frustration and concern is not helped by the apparent daily use of a TV show in teaching literacy, the “Super Why!” programs available from PBS. To make sure there is no doubt to our position in this matter: _We do not believe in the efficacy of Television to teach intellectual concepts, especially something as anti-TV as reading and literacy_. The dichotomy between what is being taught and the methods used to teach it frankly boggles the mind: it would be akin to teaching music by mostly reading composer biographies. Television is more effective in teaching children social mores, “what is cool”, etc… but when it comes to actual learning, well, TV is useless. > > As you know, the financial commitment to School Name is not inconsiderable – at least $700/month when extra-tuition activities and fees such as BAC, food, uniforms, fund-raising, and other items are added. We have made this sacrifice in the belief that not only does Sophia benefit morally from being in a parochial school, but also that the quality of education received is higher. We are beginning to question whether we are receiving value for our money – after all, we are paying for two schools: School Name and our local public school (through our property taxes). > > We would like to meet with you later this month, at a time of your choosing, so we can discuss these issues and what we can do to both assist our daughter in her education and ensure that the quality of education received during her time in school is the best possible. Feel free to call us at the above number to set up a time and date for our meeting. > > Thank you, > > JohnT and Mrs JohnT Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/2 "2007-11-28T23:02:42Z")
Your letter sounds fine to me. But then, I’m rather tactless. Your concerns are valid. Better an involved parent than an indifferent one. Consider this a tenative “OK”. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/3 "2007-11-28T23:04:27Z")
Honestly, it doesn’t seem particularly unreasonable to me. If anything, I would hope the teacher would take this for what it is and be happy a parent is showing interest in their child. The only thing that is specifically critical of the teacher’s methods would be the comments about the utilization of television. I have to say, you make a very strong case, though I’m sure she has reasons for choosing that instructional medium. Just curious: is the teacher particularly young? I ask because she might be a newer teacher who is trying to get her footing and would perhaps appreciate the feedback. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/4 "2007-11-28T23:10:19Z")
The teacher is about 50. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/5 "2007-11-28T23:13:42Z")
I would leave out the part about how much the tuition is, I am sure the teacher is well aware of how much you pay and it is irrelevant to your concerns. I would also not italicize the part about what you believe about the efficacy of teaching through television. Consider leaving it out all together. I doubt you are going to change the curriculum. If it is that big of an issue you may need to consider changing schools. I agree with you about the TV however I doubt a school will alter its school wide policies for one parent. Maybe by getting involved with other parents you could have some success. You may also want to consult your pediatrician many of the problems you mentioned may not be the schools fault. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/6 "2007-11-28T23:21:29Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] I would also not italicize the part about what you believe about the efficacy of teaching through television. Consider leaving it out all together. I doubt you are going to change the curriculum. If it is that big of an issue you may need to consider changing schools. I agree with you about the TV however I doubt a school will alter its school wide policies for one parent. Maybe by getting involved with other parents you could have some success. [/QUOTE] Actually, I think he’s more likely to have success getting the teacher to stop showing TV programs than he is in getting the teacher to switch from whole-language to phonics instruction. Although I agree that phonetic instruction is better, generally speaking, for teaching kids to read. (Phonics combined with teaching a small number of “sight words” seems to be the best, in my limited experience.) I’m not sure I’d say that TV is completely useless for learning. I still remember stuff that I learned from Schoolhouse Rock or 3-2-1 Contact, not to mention the great phonics instruction I got from Sesame Street back in the day. However, I am of the fervent opinion that TV does not belong in the classroom, so I can’t argue with that part of the letter too much. I agree that you should strike the part about the tuition cost. Would your daughter’s situation be more acceptable to you if you were paying less money? I am going to venture a guess and say that the answer is “no”. So that section is irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/7 "2007-11-28T23:30:27Z")
heh > [@](#): > > Schoolhouse Rock Conjunction junction, what’s your function? Hookin up clauses and… or Lolly lolly lolly get your adverbs here… or I’m just a Bill, sittin here on Capitol Hill… ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/8 "2007-11-28T23:32:15Z")
Chalk me up as thinking that you are expecting too much. Kindergarten differs from preschool in a number of ways and there is a lot more going on socially and in terms of the attentional demands placed on the kids. My observation is that kids periodically regress in some areas as they learn more complex concepts and understand things more deeply. For example, she may be writing letters backwards because she’s concentrating more on what she has to say than on the physical act of writing. She may also be adding a whole-word approach to reading now, too, which is a more advanced skill than phonetically parsing words. Kids also learn at different rates. My son wasn’t reading pretty much at all through the first third or so of first grade. The teacher was pushing us to have him evaluated for ADHD, but we dug in our heels and followed the advice of our pediatrician who said just let him develop. Sure enough, his reading took off like a rocket when he was good and ready, and now, in the third grade, he’s reading at at least a 6th grade level. Kindergarten has become way too much of a hot house, in my opinion. Largely it’s due to the pressure to maintain standardized test scores–not because it’s any better for the kids. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/9 "2007-11-28T23:34:09Z")
It sounds fine, except for this part: > [@](#): > > after all, we are paying for two schools: School Name and our local public school (through our property taxes). I do not intend to start a hijack about why I don’t care for it, but it doesn’t really add anything to your letter. Concern for your daughter’s education is what is important, and is something the teacher has direct control over. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/10 "2007-11-28T23:41:55Z")
Psychologically, when a teacher gets a letter from a parent that they have concerns about their childs education and they CC the superintendent or dean or what have you, teachers tend to pay attention to those types of correspondence. An active parent is practical one, no matter what the letter says the issues will get addressed. And if not, perhaps your child is in the wrong learning environment and should move on to a better school. Bad PR is crushing to come schools so they will take you seriously. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/11 "2007-11-29T00:09:44Z")
I think your concerns are valid, but I think you also need to explore other options. Has Sophia been seen by a doctor recently? There may be a medical reason for your daughter’s regression. By all means, meet with the teacher and see what she says, but I wouldn’t single out the teaching methods as the one and only reason. You need to make sure there’s nothing else going on. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/12 "2007-11-29T00:15:45Z")
My kindergartener has regressed in some ways as well, but not all of the reasons have to do with school. IMHO, kids will regress somewhat because whatever one to one teaching you did with your kid at home is replaced by one teacher (plus aides) trying to find a good pace to teach 20 or 30 kids who may not have their parents spending the time that you did before kindergarten. My kid has ADHD, but he knew his colors and shapes at age 3. He could tell the difference between circles and ovals, rectangles from trapezoids and hexagons from octagons. But now, he sometimes mislabels these shapes, and we may get some hostility from him if he can’t remember them. Part of it is the ADHD, but the other part is that the reinforcement isn’t there as much as it used to be, although we do have him with a tutor (2x weekly) and 10 workbooks at Preschool and K level. We also have resorted to medication to help him focus better and stay on task which is improving, but not near 100%. We also spend about 1 hour a night on these books. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/13 "2007-11-29T01:26:09Z")
I think it’s a good letter, but you should take out all the references to money. They’re not necessary at all. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/14 "2007-11-29T01:43:44Z")
Quick question- Why start with a letter? Why not schedule a conference to discuss your concerns and ask to see your daughter’s in class work, compare with earlier school/home papers etc. Sometimes letters can be seen as aggressive or confrontational, as if you’re trying to document some perceived offense. I’m speaking directly from my own experiences- when my now 7th grade son was in Kindergarten we did the letter to teacher route and found that we ended up having much better interactions by starting face-to-face. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/15 "2007-11-29T01:47:29Z")
[QUOTE=dangermom] I think it’s a good letter, but you should take out all the references to money. They’re not necessary at all. [/QUOTE] Agreed, this is not relevant to the teacher at all. I also think you’re expecting too much. It seems you’re unfairly placing all the blame on the teacher. After all, shouldn’t a good portion of learning (such as learning to read) take place at home? I also agree that you should take her to a doctor to be sure it’s not some sort of disability manifesting itself. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/16 "2007-11-29T01:53:29Z")
I think your concerns are completely valid, and your idea of sending a letter in advance of a meeting so the teacher won’t be blindsided is well-intentioned. But I’ve learned the hard way that if the tone of the discourse puts the teacher on the defensive, you will have an uphill battle ahead of you. I would reduce the body of the letter to bullet points and save the detail for the face-to-face meeting. I would take out the parts about TV and tuition. Regardless of whether the teacher believes TV is a wonderful teaching medium or is lazy, she is not likely to change her classroom methods because your opinion differs from hers. This is a topic I would reserve for the meeting with her. Kindergarten – you feel like your kid’s intellectual foundations are being forged here, and it’s scary as hell if you think your kid is not in good hands. \*\*Ivylass’\*\*s suggestion of getting some additional evaluation is excellent. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/17 "2007-11-29T02:49:27Z")
OK, once again, as in previous threads about noisy neighbours, or trespassing neighbours, I’'m perplexed as to why – seemingly only in the US – you would prefer to begin dialog with a FUCKING LETTER. Go and speak to the damned teacher already! ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/18 "2007-11-29T03:02:48Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] I would leave out the part about how much the tuition is, I am sure the teacher is well aware of how much you pay and it is irrelevant to your concerns. I would also not italicize the part about what you believe about the efficacy of teaching through television. Consider leaving it out all together. I doubt you are going to change the curriculum. If it is that big of an issue you may need to consider changing schools. I agree with you about the TV however I doubt a school will alter its school wide policies for one parent. Maybe by getting involved with other parents you could have some success. You may also want to consult your pediatrician many of the problems you mentioned may not be the schools fault. [/QUOTE] Noted about the money part. Probably will do in the rewrite. You know how it is… you kind of get in the swing of things and you’re bringing out all the issues, not just the ones that matters. 😉 I’m going to leave the thing about the TV in, though, as it is a BIG thing with me. I (being a little bastard that I am) have actually tested this a number of times with my wife, friends, and Sophie. We’ll watch an “educational” show about whatever and about 15 minutes/half hour after watching I’ll start asking questions about it… the lack of correct responses is amazing. One time, my wife watched an entire show about Egyptian pyramids (not just Cheops) and couldn’t remember the name of the guy who first designed one, how many blocks were used at Cheops (within 500,000), or what kind of rocks were originally on the outside. Good advice about the pediatrician. Danke. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/19 "2007-11-29T03:05:08Z")
[QUOTE=MsWhatsit] I’m not sure I’d say that TV is completely useless for learning. I still remember stuff that I learned from Schoolhouse Rock or 3-2-1 Contact, not to mention the great phonics instruction I got from Sesame Street back in the day. However, I am of the fervent opinion that TV does not belong in the classroom, so I can’t argue with that part of the letter too much. [/QUOTE] But let me ask… is it the _songs_ you remember, or the facts that were spoken? In my experience, people do mention Schoolhouse Rock and Sesame Street… and when I ask, they tend to reference the music more than anything else. (For some reason, I tend to remember those space creatures who imitated the phone in a Bert and Ernie skit. Go figure). Yeah, I’ll drop the tuition bit. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104/20 "2007-11-29T03:06:51Z")
[QUOTE=cher3] Chalk me up as thinking that you are expecting too much. Kindergarten differs from preschool in a number of ways and there is a lot more going on socially and in terms of the attentional demands placed on the kids. My observation is that kids periodically regress in some areas as they learn more complex concepts and understand things more deeply. For example, she may be writing letters backwards because she’s concentrating more on what she has to say than on the physical act of writing. She may also be adding a whole-word approach to reading now, too, which is a more advanced skill than phonetically parsing words. Kids also learn at different rates. My son wasn’t reading pretty much at all through the first third or so of first grade. The teacher was pushing us to have him evaluated for ADHD, but we dug in our heels and followed the advice of our pediatrician who said just let him develop. Sure enough, his reading took off like a rocket when he was good and ready, and now, in the third grade, he’s reading at at least a 6th grade level. Kindergarten has become way too much of a hot house, in my opinion. Largely it’s due to the pressure to maintain standardized test scores–not because it’s any better for the kids. [/QUOTE] Yeah… but. It’s that she’s seemingly regressing in a lot of areas, not just one or two. I didn’t go into it in the letter, but her social skills have slipped a bit as well. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-letter-to-my-childs-kindergarten-teacher-your-opinions-please/428104.md?page=2)