# A Load of Cobblers
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 11, 2009, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174 "2009-11-11T13:08:09Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/22 "2009-11-12T16:24:24Z")
Oh come on, people. It’s blindingly obvious that this “cobbler’s shop” is in reality a front for an international terrorist organization. The boots mistakenly got included in with a shipment of yellowcake from Niger being sent to North Korea. You know how hard it is to get stuff back from North Korea?
When you get those boots back, I’d run them past a Geiger counter if I were you.
---
### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/23 "2009-11-12T16:33:58Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#):
>
> The cobbler is of East European origin. I suspect that he has lost the boots, or mistakenly given them to somebody else, and his culture does not permit him to lose face by telling us this.
Along these lines, it may be well to note that cultures with a strong craft tradition typically do not trifle with such niceties as customer retention. Traditional crafts require an individual with a lot of pride, and it’s not in the nature of a proud person to face his mistakes.
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/24 "2009-11-12T19:17:09Z")
Your boots are half full of urine. Because there are no instructions on the heels, you’ll never get them back. Next time, buy the “manager” boots, which have the instructions printed on the heels.
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### Author:  [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/25 "2009-11-12T19:25:47Z")
I sent a pair of shoes for heel repair to a place in San Diego (because they were the authorized repair place for that brand). I had the idea that the place is located in San Diego so that they can take them across the border and repair them cheaply in Mexico, although I have no evidence aside from the location.
So perhaps your Eastern European cobbler sent the boots off to his home country for repair there? How does his shop look? Do you see any tools or any other sign that he repairs shoes on premises?
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### Author:  [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/26 "2009-11-12T19:43:26Z")
Variation on These Boots Were Made for Walking.
You keep saying you’ve got something for me.
something you call boots, but confess.
You’ve been messin’ where you shouldn’t have been a messin’
and now someone else is gettin’ all your boots.
These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.
You keep lying, when you oughta be truthin’
and you keep losin’ when you oughta not bet.
You keep scamin’ when you oughta be changin’.
Now what’s right is right, but you ain’t been right yet.
These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do
one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.
You keep playin’ where you shouldn’t be playin
and you keep thinkin’ that you´ll never get burnt.
Ha! I just found me a brand new red hot cobbler yeah
and what he know you ain’t had time to learn.
Are you ready boots? Start walkin’!
---
### Author:  [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/27 "2009-11-12T20:12:46Z")
> [@not\_austin](#):
>
> Apparently Nelson Mandela visited his cobbler the day after his release from Ellis Island to collect the shoes he’d put in for repair before his detention.
>
> The cobbler told him they’d be ready Tuesday!
Har. This whole thing reminds me of a joke I heard on the radio the other day, told by Ronald Regan, who said it was told to him by a Soviet as an example of the sense of humor they have about their society:
Cars in the USSR are hard to come by. You must fill out extensive paperwork and pay $50,000. And still, after you have paid, you must wait ten years for your car to be delivered to you. So, a man goes to the car dealer, fills out his paperwork, and pays the $50,000.
“That’s all we need from you,” says the dealer, “your car will be delivered to you in ten years.”
“Morning or afternoon?” the man asks.
The dealer is puzzled. “It’s ten years away, why should it matter?”
The man replies, “The plumber is coming in the morning.”
---
### Author:  [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/28 "2009-11-12T21:15:58Z")
Frankly, I’m a bit suspicious that this whole thing is a fabrication by the England Tourism Board or something, trying to convince us Americans that England is all small towns chock full of eccentric Python-esque characters performing various old-fashioned but charming trades like shoe repair and numerogically-based excuse fabrication.
---
### Author:  [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/29 "2009-11-12T22:49:34Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#):
>
> I think you should visit as often as you can. Maybe you can get that book ready for publishing by this Christmas, or at the very least next. Can you imagine, septupuling your output with daily visits?!
I consider this to be unwise.
We’d probably wear out the heels on those shoes we still have, walking from the carpark to the shop and back seven times a week, with disastrous consequences for our rapidly diminishing shoe supplies.
---
### Author:  [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/30 "2009-11-12T22:52:06Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#):
>
> So perhaps your Eastern European cobbler sent the boots off to his home country for repair there? How does his shop look? Do you see any tools or any other sign that he repairs shoes on premises?
If the cobbler sent the boots to his home country then it probably won’t be for repair. I bet there’s an underground boot trade that operates on the same lines as stolen cars. These gangs only steal the best vehicles - Mercedes, BMWs and the like - so the boots might have been stolen to order on the instructions of a Russian oligarch.
The shop isn’t part of a chain, and I’m fairly sure the owner is a sole trader. To be honest, it looks a bit down at heel, as if the owner is on his uppers.
---
### Author:  [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)
#### Post date: [November 12, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/31 "2009-11-12T23:19:50Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#):
>
> The shop isn’t part of a chain, and I’m fairly sure the owner is a sole trader. To be honest, it looks a bit down at heel, as if the owner is on his uppers.
I hope you gave him a severe tongue lashing.
---
### Author:  [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2009, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/32 "2009-11-13T06:19:33Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#):
>
> If the cobbler sent the boots to his home country then it probably won’t be for repair. I bet there’s an underground boot trade that operates on the same lines as stolen cars. These gangs only steal the best vehicles - Mercedes, BMWs and the like - so the boots might have been stolen to order on the instructions of a Russian oligarch.
I think you’re misunderstanding the situation.
It’s quite simple, really:
1. Take **Chez Guevara** ’s boots.
2. ???
3. Profit!
This cobbler’s isn’t owned by Zaphod Beeblebrox, is it? It sounds like it’d be a handy companion operation to his “second hand biro” business. 😃
---
### Author:  [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/33 "2009-11-13T18:40:17Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#):
>
> The cobbler is of East European origin.
If you weren’t paying in pounds and located in a city spelled with a number of unecessary and unpronounced letters, I might suspect we had the same cobbler. Or perhaps it is simply in the nature of cobblers to be East European.
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### Author:  [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/34 "2009-11-13T19:53:55Z")
I’m thinking you should look around your place for other items needing the attention of local tradesmen. Surely the lawn mower blade needs sharpening, windows washed, an old couch refurbished, anything.
I wait in eager anticipation of your report.
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### Author:  [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/35 "2009-11-13T22:16:41Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#):
>
> If you weren’t paying in pounds and located in a city spelled with a number of unecessary and unpronounced letters, I might suspect we had the same cobbler. Or perhaps it is simply in the nature of cobblers to be East European.
It is in the nature of people in the skilled clothing trades, these days anyway, to be from very poor countries and emigrate to richer ones. The skills take years to acquire, yet are not worth much in an era of mass-production throwaway apparel and shoes. If you’re in these trades, it’s usually because it’s a) in your family and b) all you have.
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### Author:  [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/36 "2009-11-13T22:33:59Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#):
>
> I consider this to be unwise.
>
> We’d probably wear out the heels on those shoes we still have, walking from the carpark to the shop and back seven times a week, with disastrous consequences for our rapidly diminishing shoe supplies.
Precisely why he gave you a ticket for a free heel repair.
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### Author:  [@Kitten\_Caboodle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitten_Caboodle)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2009, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/37 "2009-11-14T11:38:03Z")
I’m definitely seeing this as more of a “cheese shop” variant:
Chez: My boots, perhaps?
Cobb: Ah! We have your boots, yessir.
Chez: You do! Excellent. Hand them over with all speed!
Cobb: Oooooooh!
Chez: What now?
Cobb: The cat’s eaten them.
Chez: Has he?
Cobb: She, sir…
---
### Author:  [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)
#### Post date: [November 14, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/38 "2009-11-14T19:01:10Z")
> [@cjepson](#):
>
> Oh come on, people. It’s blindingly obvious that this “cobbler’s shop” is in reality a front for an international terrorist organization. The boots mistakenly got included in with a shipment of yellowcake from Niger being sent to North Korea. You know how hard it is to get stuff back from North Korea?
>
> When you get those boots back, I’d run them past a Geiger counter if I were you.
Rubbish. The fella is from eastern europe so he clearly is a soldier for the russian mafia. **Chez** ’s boots have become unwitting drug mules for high-priced drugs to the continent and are likely somewhere in france or italy by now.
Enjoying the story so far. I, too, hope the excuses don’t end soon. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@SecTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecTech)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2009, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/39 "2009-11-16T08:00:02Z")
> [@Chez\_Guevara](#):
>
> **20 October 2009**
>
> I can’t be too critical of the shoe repairer. There are, after all, four key elements involved in successful shoe-repairing. These are (1) taking in the boots for repair (2) accepting the payment (3) repairing the boots and (4) returning the boots to the owner. He has a strong handle on items (1) and (2), of that there can be no doubt. In fact, he excels in those departments. With item (3) the jury is still out. Only item (4) is a function he definitely needs to brush up on. Therefore he has mastered at least 50% of the required elements of shoe-repairing, with only the other 50% remaining a work-in-progress.
>
> .
All well and good, and highly entertaining, but are there reliable cobblers in Britain?
I need to know as I am buying a home there, and won’t ship my old boots if I can’t get them repaired.
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### Author:  [@Yoyodyne\_Propulsion\_Systems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yoyodyne_Propulsion_Systems)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2009, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/40 "2009-11-16T13:01:20Z")
A fabulous tale, I look forward to it’s continuation, though no final conclusion is in sight. The whole thing makes me seriously consider damaging my boots and searching for a local cobbler…
just to see what happens…
---
### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-load-of-cobblers/517174/41 "2009-11-16T13:09:38Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#):
>
> Rubbish. The fella is from eastern europe so he clearly is a soldier for the russian mafia. **Chez** ’s boots have become unwitting \*\*drug mules \*\*for high-priced drugs to the continent and are likely somewhere in france or italy by now.
If you get a pair of mules back, you’ve got someone else’s shoes by mistake.
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