# A man who wants his wife to do it with other men **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2015, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976 "2015-12-21T05:01:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/1 "2015-12-21T05:01:30Z")
Let’s assume he (the husband) wants it purely for his own selfish viewing pleasure. Does that make him a homosexual? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/2 "2015-12-21T05:07:58Z")
Only if he wants to kick his wife out of the way and take over with the other guy. I think what you are describing is a fairly well-documented fetish. There is also, I believe, a lively category of porn with that premise. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/3 "2015-12-21T05:13:31Z")
No. If he wanted to have sex with other men while his wife watched, that may make him a homosexual, or at least bisexual. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/4 "2015-12-21T05:20:42Z")
A good friend of mine and his wife play that way. He’s not into the men. He’s into watching his wife enjoy other men or he and the other going doing her together. He never interacts with the other dude directly. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/5 "2015-12-21T05:21:53Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I believe, a lively category of porn with that premise. If Rule 43 is to be believed there is a lively category of porn with _any_ premise. I believe the term for what the OP describes is cuckold. He’s watching a live heterosexual act & not participating; not homosexual. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/6 "2015-12-21T05:45:43Z")
I’m reading expert opinion, I presume. I just heard the premise from one psychologist. The psych said such a man dreams of making love to other men and now he wants to do it through his wife. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/7 "2015-12-21T06:40:31Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > I’m reading expert opinion, I presume. I just heard the premise from one psychologist. The psych said such a man dreams of making love to other men and now he wants to do it through his wife. Too much projection on the part of that psychologist? Or perhaps in places or times where homosexuality is / was unthinkable; perhaps, but reading Dan Savage makes the other explanations more believable. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/8 "2015-12-21T07:25:40Z")
He’s a voyeur. Or he wants to put something in the bank for when he cheats on his wife. Or for when he already cheated on his wife. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/9 "2015-12-21T11:17:48Z")
Watching a man doing it with a woman is porn. Watching a man doing with a woman you find attractive is porn. Watching a man doing it with another man you find attractive is gay porn. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/10 "2015-12-21T15:15:24Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > He’s a voyeur. Or he wants to put something in the bank for when he cheats on his wife. Or for when he already cheated on his wife. No wrt the latter. Not into this, but I read quite a lot from people who are. Either a voyeur, as you say, or into the humiliation of being cuckolded (surprisingly common). WRT the OP, some in the latter category go as far as wanting to feel/taste the semen of the other man or even having to service him. Despite the appearances, even in these cases, I’m not convinced it’s related to homosexuality. More the humiliation thing, again. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2015, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/11 "2015-12-21T19:22:00Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > No wrt the latter. Not into this, but I read quite a lot from people who are. Either a voyeur, as you say, or into the humiliation of being cuckolded (surprisingly common). In the case of my friend mentioned above, it is definitely the voyeur thing with some domination thrown in. He is the one controlling the action. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/12 "2015-12-22T00:42:00Z")
When the guy is watching his wife doing it with another man, which of the two is he mostly watching? ---
**Author:** ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-who-wants-his-wife-to-do-it-with-other-men/740976/13 "2015-12-22T11:45:11Z")
Depends on the guy, I would imagine.