# A man with a gun demands you entertain him - what do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 17, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387 "2010-10-17T00:05:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/21 "2010-10-17T03:10:49Z")
Get out my top hat and cane and start singing: “Hello my baby Hello my honey Hello my ragtime gal” ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/22 "2010-10-17T03:32:38Z")
Could I use his gun as a prop? 🙂 Though I suppose that would run afoul of the ‘no chance of disarming him’ clause. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/23 "2010-10-17T03:43:35Z")
My act is snorting Kim Jong Il’s toupee through my left nostril. Sir, if you’d be so good as to go get my prop… ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/24 "2010-10-17T03:45:42Z")
My one prop is a SWAT team riot shield and my act is broken field running. Most people can’t hit the broad side of a stationary barn with a pistol, I’m willing to take my chances. ---
**Author:** ![J.D.G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@J.D.G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J.D.G)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/25 "2010-10-17T09:33:05Z")
One of two options: A) Whip out my transvestite costume and prance around to _Sweet Transvestite_. He’ll either be so frightened he’ll run away or I’ll transfix him with my macho/mince routine and be able to take the gun. Or B) Do my rendition of the _Animaniacs Presidents of the United States_ song. People usually like that one. I’m not even an American. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/26 "2010-10-17T10:47:13Z")
Well I’d start by telling him _The Story of the Merchant and the Jinni_. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/27 "2010-10-17T10:47:25Z")
Realistically? I would probably flip out and start crying and begging. I have this crazy phobia at being shot at. ---
**Author:** ![J.D.G](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@J.D.G](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J.D.G)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/28 "2010-10-17T11:06:46Z")
“Ooo can I do\* Danny Boy\*? No… _Loch Lomond_! No… _I Did It My Way_! No… _Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend_!… _Candyman_! … _Moulin Rouge_!… Tell you what, can we just come back tomorrow and get a backing group and big band?" ---
**Author:** ![Teacake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teacake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teacake)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/29 "2010-10-17T11:20:15Z")
My prop would be a guitar and I would sing to him. He would have to have a high tolerance for me forgetting songs halfway through and strumming aimlessly while I try to remember. Funny, I was only thinking this morning that if I don’t start playing my guitars again soon they’re going to put themselves on Ebay out of boredom. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/30 "2010-10-17T11:32:44Z")
Hmm. I think my prop would either be a piano, in which case I could sing and/or play the few pieces I know by heart, or lots of beer, in which case I could get drunk and start talking nonsense, which I’m told can be quite amusing (probably only to my close friends, though). Neither of these is likely to work for long, so perhaps I’d go for the latter, because by the time I get shot I might be drunk enough for it not to hurt as much. Some great one-liners upthread, by the way - you guys are going to have no problems. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/31 "2010-10-17T14:04:58Z")
I always knew my tap-dancing skills would come in handy sooner or later. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/32 "2010-10-17T14:10:19Z")
The only entertaining skill I have is the ability to perform card tricks. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/33 "2010-10-17T17:43:15Z")
For my next trick, I’ll need to lock a volunteer from the audience inside this box. You, sir, with the gun… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/34 "2010-10-17T17:50:29Z")
Get shot. I have zero talents. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/35 "2010-10-17T17:54:03Z")
I’ve just spent the last week teaching myself to play the guitar, so I’ll play the one punk song I’ve learned. Oh, he’ll still shoot me, I just want death to come quickly. It’ll also make my last moments as terrible for him as for me (not to mention the neighbours). ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/36 "2010-10-17T23:01:09Z")
Surprised no one has mentioned russian roulette yet, deer hunter style. Declan ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/37 "2010-10-17T23:49:21Z")
Jokes. I got jokes. Ever heard the moth joke? I’d tell that one. People either love it or hate it, so you’ll know in a few minutes whether you’re going to live or die, and avoid all the suspense. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/38 "2010-10-17T23:53:17Z")
I play guitar and sing, and I have plenty of material. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/39 "2010-10-18T00:33:22Z")
> [@Mach Tuck](#): > > You’re allowed one prop. > > No sex or violence. You have no chance of disarming him. So that means I can’t perform my ‘juggling unfired bullets’ trick? ---
**Author:** ![may\_be\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c5a1d2/32.png) [@may\_be\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/may_be_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/40 "2010-10-18T03:08:38Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Her eyes they shone like a diamond > You’d think she was queen of the land > With her hair pulled over her shoulder > Tied up with a black velvet band yeah you’d die [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387.md?page=3)