# A man with a gun demands you entertain him - what do you do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 17, 2010, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387 "2010-10-17T00:05:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rex\_Goliath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bcef8e/32.png) [@Rex\_Goliath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rex_Goliath)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/41 "2010-10-18T06:29:09Z")
Probably tell Carl Hanratty’s joke from _Catch Me If You Can_, which is in the running for top twenty jokes ever. Knock knock. _Who’s there?_ … … … Go fuck yourself. ---
**Author:** ![VanillaGorilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f9ae1b/32.png) [@VanillaGorilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VanillaGorilla)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/42 "2010-10-18T07:27:16Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Get shot. I have zero talents. Same here my friend, same here… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/43 "2010-10-18T08:17:30Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > H.M.S. Pinafore Ha, my thought exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/44 "2010-10-18T12:04:29Z")
Some fun answers here. But I’m starting to think that [shaggy dog stories](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=582241) may be the way to go. Even if he shoots you afterward, you bought yourself a fair amount of time! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/45 "2010-10-18T14:00:22Z")
I could dance. I could sing, but then I’d just get shot. No one has said they’d try to seduce him with a sexy dance? Dunno if it would work, though, but technically it is entertaining. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/46 "2010-10-18T14:01:30Z")
Well, I hope the gun-man likes story time, because I certainly have a fair-to-middling amount of what have been called entertaining personal stories. I can sing decent too, but I can’t play guitar so it might suck royally without instrumentation. Although, I can do a not-half-bad ‘Over the Rainbow.’ Although squared, that could lead the situation from bad to worse _ba-dum-tish_ ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/47 "2010-10-18T14:02:40Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > No one has said they’d try to seduce him with a sexy dance? Dunno if it would work, though, but technically it is entertaining. > [@Mach Tuck](#): > > No sex ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/48 "2010-10-18T14:08:41Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > ☹ I said no sex, meaning actual sex. A sexy dance is entertainment, and therefore permitted as long as it has artistic merit. Please send me videos of such if there are further questions, and I will provide guidance. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/49 "2010-10-18T14:19:05Z")
My one prop is a loaded gun.😃 ---
**Author:** ![limegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@limegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/limegreen)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/50 "2010-10-18T14:22:20Z")
Well, I was a professional storyteller for a while, so maybe I could, like Scherezade, keep him listening until someone could rescue me. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/51 "2010-10-18T14:56:27Z")
I would sing [this.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNTxr2NJHa0)(You Tube) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/52 "2010-10-18T16:18:17Z")
> [@J.D.G](#): > > One of two options: > > A) Whip out my transvestite costume and prance around to _Sweet Transvestite_. He’ll either be so frightened he’ll run away or I’ll transfix him with my macho/mince routine and be able to take the gun. > > . I would have to join you as a reverse drag Dr Scott, at least I actually have spike heels [somewhere] fishnets [also somewhere] a plaid stadium blanket [um, somewhere] and a wheelchair. Although I used to do Janet, I could probably get it sorted out reasonably well. I guess being a gimp does come in handy 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/53 "2010-10-18T17:00:29Z")
IRl I do not handle ultimatums very well. I would tell him to go fuck himself. ---
**Author:** ![MrFloppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@MrFloppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrFloppy)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/54 "2010-10-18T17:15:34Z")
I do my Ozzy Osbourne impression. My fake Brummie accent is brilliant I tell ya. SHARRRRRONNNNNNN! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/55 "2010-10-18T17:20:11Z")
Sing and play guitar. In this circumstance, mostly lullabys. Maybe some Coldplay. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/56 "2010-10-18T17:44:39Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > IRl I do not handle ultimatums very well. I would tell him to go fuck himself. The OP said “no sex”. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/57 "2010-10-18T17:53:44Z")
I’d probably go with poetry recitation. Jokes have the potential to be better, but they also have a much greater potential to be much worse. At the very least, people seem to be impressed by the fact that I actually memorize poems (it’s really not as hard as most folks think). ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/58 "2010-10-18T22:12:24Z")
> [@Corner\_Case](#): > > The OP said “no sex”. That’s not sex, it’s masturbation. Right? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/59 "2010-10-18T22:51:11Z")
“Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.” – Woody Allen I tend to tell myself bad jokes when I get really deathly afraid, so I’d probably be doing an impromptu stand-up routine anyway. Death will be swift. Alternately: _“Hey, look over there!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387/60 "2010-10-19T00:23:26Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > “Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love.” – Woody Allen > > I tend to tell myself bad jokes when I get really deathly afraid, so I’d probably be doing an impromptu stand-up routine anyway. Death will be swift. > > Alternately: > > _“Hey, look over there!”_ Tim Allen (of Home Improvement fame) claims to have avoided getting beat up/killed in prison because he was funny. Seems some guy had him up against the wall and, for reasons he could never explain, Tim started doing Elmer Fudd impersonations to make the guy laugh. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-man-with-a-gun-demands-you-entertain-him-what-do-you-do/557387.md?page=4)