# A man's absolute worst nightmare. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 6, 2017, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896 "2017-04-06T16:42:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/21 "2017-04-06T18:16:49Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > I watched the 1980’s cases play out in the news. A lot of good people were hurt. > > [Day-care sex-abuse hysteria - Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day-care_sex-abuse_hysteria) > > I’m just saying men have to be careful in today’s world. The burdon is on us to prove our innocence. I’m noticing a lot of women in your link about people being falsely accused. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/22 "2017-04-06T18:21:49Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > I’m a man, and my worst nightmares involve something really painful and terrible happening to my wife or children. I was imagining this was going to have something to do with scrota and violent removal of such. Disappointed! ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/23 "2017-04-06T18:29:54Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > … I spend absolutely zero time worrying about being randomly accused of rape by random crazy women. Thanks for posting pretty much what I was thinking. > [@gigi](#): > > I was imagining this was going to have something to do with scrota and violent removal of such. Disappointed! Sorry to disappoint. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/24 "2017-04-06T18:37:00Z")
> [@TroutMan](#): > > What a scary, scary world you live in, **ace**. [263 years in prison seems scary enough to me.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Holtzclaw) [This link is a long read](http://justicefordanielholtzclaw.com/?page_id=36), but if you skip to accuser #8 as an example you can see on what basis he got 62 years added to his sentence. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/25 "2017-04-06T18:39:42Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I’m noticing a lot of women in your link about people being falsely accused. Anyone can be falsely accused of any crime. There’s just a bigger social stigma attached to sex crimes. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/26 "2017-04-06T18:44:43Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Anyone can be falsely accused of any crime. > > There’s just a bigger social stigma attached to sex crimes. At least _one_ of us actually read the link you provided, in which both men _and_ women were falsely accused of sex crimes, and both men _and_ women suffered for it. ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/27 "2017-04-06T18:50:41Z")
> [@Ale](#): > > [263 years in prison seems scary enough to me.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Holtzclaw) > > [This link is a long read](http://justicefordanielholtzclaw.com/?page_id=36), but if you skip to accuser #8 as an example you can see on what basis he got 62 years added to his sentence. That’s a guy you think was falsely accused? ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/28 "2017-04-06T19:17:38Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > At least _one_ of us actually read the link you provided, in which both men _and_ women were falsely accused of sex crimes, and both men _and_ women suffered for it. That’s what I said. Anyone can be falsely accused of a crime. Sexual assaults are typically made against men. But there are occasional exceptions. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/29 "2017-04-06T19:22:53Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > That’s what I said. Anyone can be falsely accused of a crime. > > Sexual assaults are typically made against men. But there are occasional exceptions. I don’t know if you noticed, but that link you provided was about sexual assault by men and women on children, both male and female-child abuse cases. No occasional exceptions in those cases, just whoever was minding the kids when the mass hysteria hit. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/30 "2017-04-06T19:23:02Z")
“If you didn’t want sex, you would have fought back. You didn’t, so you did.” “It’s your fault for accepting a drink from a stranger.” “Don’t dress like that if you don’t want guys hitting on you.” “You shouldn’t have been out alone that late at night.” “You did so agree. You just don’t remember because you were drunk/stoned.” “Everyone knows girls play hard to get and no really means yes, keep trying.” “[That person] is a good [teacher/coach/minister] and would never do something like that.” “Quit making up stories to get attention.” “You’re just trying to make trouble for [person] because you don’t like them.” That’s how easy it is for a woman or child sex crime victim to be taken seriously by law enforcement and their own families. It’s so easy I don’t know why we all don’t do it! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/31 "2017-04-06T19:26:14Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > That’s what I said. Anyone can be falsely accused of a crime. > > Sexual assaults are typically made against men. But there are occasional exceptions. I agree with you to some extent. It’s a different world today. Whenever I interviewed women for jobs, I made sure the office door stayed open, as I was once accused of being racist by a woman who didn’t get hired. When HR told me about it, I pointed out that while I didn’t hire that woman (who was Hispanic), I did hire the black woman I interviewed for the same job because skilz. :rolleyes: With kids, it is indeed a minefield. There was a brilliant little girl who lived next door who considered us her best friends, and her mother trusted us with her. Even so, if I was home alone, I wouldn’t let her come into the house, but would spend some time with her outside on the porch. It’s just too easy for there to be misunderstandings, or for the adult relationship to go sideways and the revenge comes in the form of accusations. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/32 "2017-04-06T19:31:58Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Anyone can be falsely accused of any crime. > > There’s just a bigger social stigma attached to sex crimes. More than that, there’s a presumption of guilt - if a woman or child cries “Smoke” there must be some fire somewhere, and as a society we have chosen to bend over backwards from the “dismiss and hide” era by giving full credence and exposure to the claims until proven otherwise… at which point it is often too late for the accused, his family, and maybe even the accuser. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/33 "2017-04-06T19:32:27Z")
> [@Azeotrope](#): > > “If you didn’t want sex, you would have fought back. You didn’t, so you did.” > > “It’s your fault for accepting a drink from a stranger.” > > “Don’t dress like that if you don’t want guys hitting on you.” > > “You shouldn’t have been out alone that late at night.” > > “You did so agree. You just don’t remember because you were drunk/stoned.” > > “Everyone knows girls play hard to get and no really means yes, keep trying.” > > “[That person] is a good [teacher/coach/minister] and would never do something like that.” > > “Quit making up stories to get attention.” > > “You’re just trying to make trouble for [person] because you don’t like them.” > > That’s how easy it is for a woman or child sex crime victim to be taken seriously by law enforcement and their own families. It’s so easy I don’t know why we all don’t do it! Hell, until recently marital rape wasn’t even a crime! ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/34 "2017-04-06T19:53:52Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Well, he wasn’t when he went in. Haha, prison rape joke. Sweet. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/35 "2017-04-06T20:01:10Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I don’t know if you noticed, but that link you provided was about sexual assault by men and women on children, both male and female-child abuse cases. No occasional exceptions in those cases, just whoever was minding the kids when the mass hysteria hit. I’m familiar with those cases. I watched them unfold in the news back then. 60 Minutes interviewed some of the accused couples. The link was to point out specific cases where innocent people were falsely accused. There needs to be more balance in investgating these crimes. How credible is the accusations? What physical evidence is there? Certainly the guilty need to be punished. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/36 "2017-04-06T20:16:03Z")
**Ace** , honest question. What do you think happens more frequently - a woman falsely accuses a man of a sex crime, or a man escapes prosecution for an assault against a woman because there was insufficient evidence, the woman wasn’t believed, or the woman didn’t report the crime for fear of not being believed, being accused of being a slut, etc.? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/37 "2017-04-06T20:20:17Z")
And I would like to know what possible solutions are there to this problem you see that wouldn’t make it harder for women to press legitimate cases forward? ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/38 "2017-04-06T20:20:25Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I have represented more people falsely accused of sex crimes than any other crime. (In my opinion, of course. I can’t ever be certain.) > > Nonetheless, I spend exactly zero time worrying about it. I wouldn’t call it my worst nightmare by a long shot. Not surprising. An FBI study found that rape (and sexual assault generally) had a much higher rate of purposefully false allegations than any other crime. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/39 "2017-04-06T20:22:16Z")
[QUOTE=aceplace] This happens more frequently than it should. A man gets a woman or kid angry and they may make false charges against you. [/QUOTE] Uh…you mean, “him,” right? Given that the OP’s only example yielded 0 false accusations, even with the added complications of crazy and racism, really not sure why the OP elevates this particular threat to the level he has. There are so many ways nearly everyone you meet or interact with might potentially harm you, focusing on this one seems a little haphazard. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2017, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896/40 "2017-04-06T20:22:33Z")
I think most sexual assault charges are probably true. I don’t know how many can’t be proved. It depends on the physical evidence, witnesses and what the victim says. I want to see the guilty go to prison. A lot of these cases are extremely hard too disprove too. That’s why my office door is open when I meet with a female co-worker. I meet co-workers for business lunches. We don’t drive over in the same car. I do what I can to protect myself. I don’t want any of my actions being misunderstood. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mans-absolute-worst-nightmare/783896.md?page=3)