# A message to all atheists, unbelievers, and lukewarm christians **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [August 25, 2013, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164 "2013-08-25T23:56:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/21 "2013-08-26T00:18:33Z")
> [@akennett](#): > > I will accept that you are serious. In light of that seriousness, can you please explain why Jesus lied about when he would return? (Matt 16:28, Mark 9:1, Luke 9:27) > > I mean, come on, you don’t seriously believe that there are 2000 year old Jews wandering the Earth, do you? [Of course there are!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=NO04zWdh8_Y#t=122) ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/22 "2013-08-26T00:24:40Z")
Coming back? Can’t. Was never here. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/23 "2013-08-26T00:25:01Z")
> [@jesusguy](#): > > Jesus is coming back someday and he’ll back like a thief in the night. (1 Thessalonians 5:2) [Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant Police Squad][I knew it!](http://thief.wikia.com/wiki/Garrett)[/SFD,DLPS] ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/24 "2013-08-26T00:25:19Z")
> [@jesusguy](#): > > Jesus is coming back someday and he’ll back like a thief in the night. (1 Thessalonians 5:2) We need to examine our lives and get serious. For those who haven’t you need to accept jesus as your savior and repent for your sins to get to heaven - no other belief, religion, or way will get you there. > > For those who accepted jesus but aren’t living righteously, you need to repent for your sins daily and ask God for the strength and wisdom to live righteously. > > -God bless, take it easy. I can live with eternal damnation or non-existence) as long as I don’t need to violate my personal morals or integrity. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/25 "2013-08-26T00:25:27Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Jesus is not coming back. In fact I’m doubtful he was even here in the first place. Saying Jesus did not exist is as a ridiculous as young earth creationism. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/26 "2013-08-26T00:26:06Z")
We have an imposter. Here’s the real [Jesus Guy.](http://www.thejesusguy.com/) ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/27 "2013-08-26T00:27:10Z")
> [@akennett](#): > > I mean, come on, you don’t seriously believe that there are 2000 year old Jews wandering the Earth, do you? Well, of course there aren’t 2,000-year-old Jew **s** wandering the Earth. _ **THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!** _ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/28 "2013-08-26T00:27:53Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Saying Jesus did not exist is as a ridiculous as young earth creationism. So if He’s real, what’s His Social Security number? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/29 "2013-08-26T00:29:01Z")
> [@jesusguy](#): > > Yes, I’m dead serious about everything I wrote in that entire post. What an amazing coincidence-Jesus was serious, and he’s dead too! ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/30 "2013-08-26T00:32:38Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Well, of course there aren’t 2,000-year-old Jew **s** wandering the Earth. > _ **THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!** _ So, Jesus’ return will be like a really bad sequel? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/31 "2013-08-26T00:35:38Z")
> [@jesusguy](#): > > Jesus is coming back someday and he’ll back like a thief in the night. (1 Thessalonians 5:2) We need to examine our lives and get serious. For those who haven’t you need to accept jesus as your savior and repent for your sins to get to heaven - no other belief, religion, or way will get you there. > > For those who accepted jesus but aren’t living righteously, you need to repent for your sins daily and ask God for the strength and wisdom to live righteously. > > -God bless, take it easy. What if your not an atheist, unbeliever or lukewarm Christian but believe something different? We cool? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/32 "2013-08-26T00:36:35Z")
> [@jesusguy](#): > > Jesus is coming back someday and he’ll back like a thief in the night. (1 Thessalonians 5:2) We need to examine our lives and get serious. For those who haven’t you need to accept jesus as your savior and repent for your sins to get to heaven - no other belief, religion, or way will get you there. > > For those who accepted jesus but aren’t living righteously, you need to repent for your sins daily and ask God for the strength and wisdom to live righteously. > > -God bless, take it easy. Jesus was supposed to come back while his disciples were still alive…screwed the pooch on that one. Got any other gods I can take a look at? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/33 "2013-08-26T00:38:48Z")
You did not hear? Jesus _did_ come back already. Some while back, he was in West Bend Iowa leading a bunch of followers over to the Grotto of the Redemption, presumably for a hearty prayer session. A twenty-two year old farm hand in his F-350 came up 148th a bit too fast, turned hard onto 2nd street, and was unable to stop in time. The paramedics arrived, but the holy incarnation redux was badly mangled and had lost too much precious blood. And so it was, Jesus died on the cross-walk. Word is, the updated stigmata is in the form of a 3" oval surrounded by a sort of grillwork pattern (it was a pretty old truck). ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/34 "2013-08-26T00:40:54Z")
I resent that the OP was addressed only to all atheists, unbelievers, and lukewarm Christians. What about aliens, pagans, zombies, and all the other categories out there? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/35 "2013-08-26T00:42:36Z")
> [@jesusguy](#): > > A message to all atheists, unbelievers, and lukewarm christians Speaking as a Jew, it seems I’m exempt. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/36 "2013-08-26T00:44:58Z")
It occurs to me that if ‘jesusguy’ was serious - he would have picked less of an obnoxious handle - ‘jesusguy’ simply opens the floodgates for not taking his message seriously - and since the bible specifically says that “many will come in my name saying the time is near… do not follow them” - he pretty much pissed himself right there. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/37 "2013-08-26T00:45:37Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Speaking as a Jew, it seems I’m exempt. As an atheist Jew… I’m confused. Am I exempt or hosed? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/38 "2013-08-26T00:47:14Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > As an atheist Jew… I’m confused. Am I exempt or hosed? That depends-are you a Reformed atheist Jew or an Orthodox atheist Jew? ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/39 "2013-08-26T00:52:20Z")
[“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re privileged to have with us the man known all over the world as the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeGA2o3KXmM) Stranger ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164/40 "2013-08-26T00:57:21Z")
> [@simster](#): > > I’ll be more impressed if he comes back - I’ll give him three days. Heck, I’ll give you even odds he won’t even coment on any of these posts. And to the OP what about Jesus saying to the masses(I’m not goning to look up the chapter and verse so I’ll paraphrase) “There are those of you here today that won’t taste death before God establishes his kingdom on Earth.” Guess he was a bit wrong there. I believe Jesus existed but was just a mortal Apocalyptic Jew. When God didn’t show up the Apostles had to come up with a new story so they invented the resurection. Since both the Romans and Joesphous (sp?) each mention the historical Jesus I find it rather strange thst they wouldn’t mention something so big as a resurrection. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-message-to-all-atheists-unbelievers-and-lukewarm-christians/667164.md?page=3)