# A Mild Rant: Please quit commenting on my appearance. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 16, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856 "2002-04-16T01:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2002, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/81 "2002-04-20T17:41:11Z")
**SkyKing** darling, sweety. While I appreciate your little “pep-talk” you’ve completely missed the point. This rant isn’t about my ability to handle people that are ignorant ass-hats - I do just fine, thanks very much. This rant isn’t about my own self-esteem or lack thereof - again - no problems, as previously mentioned _in this very thread_ I have tonnes of confidence - oodles, even. Nor is this rant about my ability to file a harrasment charge with the appropriate authorities - I’m pretty sure I could do that as well, should the need present itself. No - this rant is about other people. About how I wish other poeple would shut up about my appearance, cus really - it’s none of their business. Despite what you seem to think, I really _DON’T_ care what a complete stranger thinks about my abs, or my tits, or my ass, or my shoes, or my looks - what I care about is that they keep their opinion to themselves. If my friend tells me I look nice does it make me feel good? Sure - they are my friend - I care about their opinions - otherwise I wouldn’t have a relationship with them in the first place. But total strangers? No - I really don’t give a shit. So, now to sum up. If you would like to join me in my rant about other people spontaniously offering their opinions about things that are none of their business, please do so. If, on the other hand, you would like to give me your opinion on how to “look nicer” or “handle ignorant people” or how to have “positive self-esteem” please, save it. Thanks - that is all. ---
**Author:** ![Kru-baby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6bbea6/32.png) [@Kru-baby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kru-baby)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/82 "2002-04-21T08:23:50Z")
Ok, so when did a smile not become part of an appearance? If you always frown, you will most likely be deemed a bitch, if you were to smile a little, you wouldnt be assumend a bitch - either way, you are still doing something wrong, even your posts come across bitchy, no matter what he subject. All I said was it was either your attitude or your overall appearance including the expression of your face make a difference. However, even if no one physically sees you all day, one would still think you were a bitch judging on your blatant comments and AMOST ALWAYS rude replies. As far as me, I dont care if you like me or not, I’m not going anywhere. If you work on your body that much and care about your physical appearence at least have the common courtousy to say thank you when someone compliments you. ---
**Author:** ![SkyKing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@SkyKing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyKing)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/83 "2002-04-21T14:11:39Z")
> [@](#): > > So, now to sum up. If you would like to join me in my rant about other people spontaniously offering their opinions about things that are none of their business, please do so. My Honey-Bunny, Alice!! Your question pertains to one about OTHER’S behavior (human nature). More specifically…why do people (strangers) offer spontaneous comments about someone’s appearance. Since I, and the others I’ve noticed, ASSUMED beforehand that you had the common sense and the intelligence to realize that human nature being what it is, and the fact that we can’t CONTROL what OTHER people do or say, it is logical that the only thing we can control is our own attitude and how WE react to those comments! Therefore, the majority of the responses to your question were along the lines of offering you some suggestions on how you may psychologically and realistically better handle the situation, since it apparently “pisses” you off to get unwarranted attention and comments about how you look! Again, your question and attitude flies in the face of how most people would react in that situation. As I mentioned to you before in my previous post, people are motivated to work at looking good because of the attention it will give them which in turn will validate their self-worth! (Don’t go and tell me now that most people work-out because they want to add 1.63 years to their lifesan!) It doesn’t really matter where those comments come from…friends, relatives or strangers! Of course, it means more when it comes from someone you know, but why should it bother you if it comes from strangers? I’ve been a body-builder for over 20 years…starting when I was 15 yrs. old. I used to compete on the local level in my early 20’s and won my share of trophies. I’ve gotten more than my share of compliments, stares, comments, and “put-downs”! I took it all in stride and actually enjoyed it very much! It actually motivated me to keep doing it despite the hard work, discipline and sacrifices in maintaining my physique. I might not get paid for it monetarily, but I do psychologically! So to reiterate…it’s common sense that we can’t change human nature or how and what others do or say, but we can control OUR ATTITUDE and our OWN responses to such attention and/or comments! Take Care… SkyKing ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/84 "2002-04-21T17:04:07Z")
Ya know what would make me really happy? Is if people: a) would shut the fuck up about my appearance. b) don’t presume to tell me what I do and do not like, or analyze my motivations for fitness, without ever having met me. I don’t want advice. I didn’t ask for advice. I was merely venting my spleen. If you have some sort of problem with that, then please, go to another thread. This thread is to bitch about people offering unsolicited comments or advice. Thankfully, both **Kru-baby** and **SkyKing** have made my point beautifully. I don’t even know these people, and yet they seem insistent on commenting on my appearance (which interestingly **Kru-baby** has never seen - clearly she is psychic) and offering advice. So, now, because I obviously wasn’t clear before - **SHUT THE FUCK UP! I DON’T GIVE A RATS ASS WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MY APPEARANCE. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU THINK I’M BEING BITCHY - GUESS WHAT, _KRU-BABY_ I _AM_ BEING BITCHY. THAT’S BECAUSE I’M SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF ASS-HATS, SUCH AS YOURSELF, DECIDING THAT I NEED TO KNOW YOUR FUCKING OPINION ABOUT MY APPEARNACE, OK? I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU THINK I SHOULD SMILE, JUST _SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!_ _SKYKING_ I DON’T GIVE A RATS ASS WHAT YOUR MOTIVATIONS FOR EXERCISING ARE – THEY ARE DIFFERNET THAN MINE, OK SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING YAP AND KEEP YOUR “ADVICE” TO YOURSELF – I DIDN’T ASK FOR IT, AND I DON’T NEED IT, UMMMM FUCKING K?!?!?** Ahem. We now return to your regularly scheduled Alice… ---
**Author:** ![SkyKing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@SkyKing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyKing)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/85 "2002-04-21T17:21:41Z")
Alice!!! It’s obvious to everyone here…you’re a NUT CASE in need of some very serious Professional help!!! Anyone else who so desires to respond to your asinine posts, may do so at the risk of wasting their perfectly good time!! It’s also become obvious that you had an ulterior motive for posting such a thread to begin with…to bring attention to yourself from strangers (like me and the rest of us posters)!! I believe you really wanted to let it be known in an indirect way to the visitors who frequent this MB that you are “supposedly” in “fit” shape/condition. Of course, none of us know that for sure!! For what we know, you could weigh 650 lbs and be a man!! Robert Frost once wrote: “If we could only see ourselves as others see us”! I can only speak for myself, but I see you as a very angry person with many psychological issues that need to be worked out with a professional!!! Hope you get the help you need, dear!! Good Luck (You’re going to need it!!!) SkyKIng ---
**Author:** ![cercaria](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@cercaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cercaria)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/86 "2002-04-21T17:34:25Z")
**SkyKing** : Don’t make me hit you with my shoe. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/87 "2002-04-21T17:46:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*Ya know what would make me really happy? Is if people: > > a) would shut the fuck up about my appearance. > b) don’t presume to tell me what I do and do not like, or analyze my motivations for fitness, without ever having met me. > > I don’t want advice. I didn’t ask for advice. I was merely venting my spleen. If you have some sort of problem with that, then please, go to another thread. > > This thread is to bitch about people offering unsolicited comments or advice. > > Thankfully, both **Kru-baby** and **SkyKing** have made my point beautifully. > > I don’t even know these people, and yet they seem insistent on commenting on my appearance (which interestingly **Kru-baby** has never seen - clearly she is psychic) and offering advice. > > So, now, because I obviously wasn’t clear before - **SHUT THE FUCK UP! I DON’T GIVE A RATS ASS WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MY APPEARANCE. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU THINK I’M BEING BITCHY - GUESS WHAT, _KRU-BABY_ I _AM_ BEING BITCHY. THAT’S BECAUSE I’M SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF ASS-HATS, SUCH AS YOURSELF, DECIDING THAT I NEED TO KNOW YOUR FUCKING OPINION ABOUT MY APPEARNACE, OK? I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU THINK I SHOULD SMILE, JUST _SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!_ _SKYKING_ I DON’T GIVE A RATS ASS WHAT YOUR MOTIVATIONS FOR EXERCISING ARE – THEY ARE DIFFERNET THAN MINE, OK SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING YAP AND KEEP YOUR “ADVICE” TO YOURSELF – I DIDN’T ASK FOR IT, AND I DON’T NEED IT, UMMMM FUCKING K?!?!?** > > Ahem. > > We now return to your regularly scheduled Alice… \*\* I would make a comment about people who start Pit threads trying to direct commentary after the fact but… gosh I couldn’t help noticing that you’re…you’re so pretty when you’re enraged. All that fightin’ blood flowing makes your skin postively glow and those deep angrified breaths make your defined abs ripple and undulate in an entracing manner. I’m hypnotized with fear and wonder at your beautiful rage. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/88 "2002-04-21T17:49:40Z")
Owwwwww… where did that shoe come from? ---
**Author:** ![SkyKing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@SkyKing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyKing)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/89 "2002-04-21T18:11:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t make me hit you with my shoe. Cescaria… I’m not worried!! ZoneAlarm and Norton’s has assured me that it’s impossible for a shoe to fit thru the phone lines!! Whew…!!! Seein’ that you’re from Manhattan…you can’t throw a shoe more than say, 400 miles, can you?? Just wonderin’, that’s all!! OUCH!!! WHAT THE HELL …??? ---
**Author:** ![cercaria](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@cercaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cercaria)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/90 "2002-04-21T18:14:57Z")
😃 It is right to fear the Shoe Ninja. ---
**Author:** ![SkyKing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@SkyKing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyKing)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/91 "2002-04-21T18:42:35Z")
> [@](#): > > It is right to fear the Shoe Ninja It’s nice to see that Imelda Marcos has a 2nd job!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/92 "2002-04-21T18:49:22Z")
…I have walked through the valley of the shadow of **alice** , and lemme just TELL YOU about fearing evil !!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/93 "2002-04-21T21:19:58Z")
Oh for the love of Pete. I give up. [Here](http://www.ucalgary.ca/~grodgers/aiw) I am - if anyone has anything to say about my appearance - please, feel free. Away you go. Comment away. Unsolicited advice about how I can improve my look - please, go right ahead. Unsolicited advice in general? Please, be my guest. Al. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/94 "2002-04-21T21:20:27Z")
Since I am gravitationally challenged (when I have an orgasm I get letters from the Richter Lab) people don’t usually comment on my abs, glutes, delts or whatever. They’ve been covered with fat for so long nobody can see them to comment. Anyway, they’d probably be arfraid I’d sit on them. Forget all that stuff **alice,** (he said, rubbing his hands together and drooling) where can I find that nudity thread? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hobgnoblin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hobgnoblin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hobgnoblin)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/95 "2002-04-21T21:43:33Z")
Gee, **alice** , you don’t look all that bitchy to me. :shoe-shields up: See, **Kru-baby** , she _does_ smile. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/96 "2002-04-22T00:41:33Z")
Like a bridge over troubled water… ---
**Author:** ![SkyKing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@SkyKing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyKing)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/97 "2002-04-22T04:00:16Z")
Alice…That’s a REALLY Great picture of uh…uh…boulder!! Is that a real one, or one of those fake plastic ones they use as a prop? And btw…the um…black leotard is really nice, too!! Quick…EVERYBODY DUCK!!! ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/98 "2002-04-22T04:38:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*Oh for the love of Pete. I give up. > > [Here](http://www.ucalgary.ca/~grodgers/aiw) I am - if anyone has anything to say about my appearance - please, feel free. Away you go. Comment away. Unsolicited advice about how I can improve my look - please, go right ahead. Unsolicited advice in general? Please, be my guest. > Al. \*\* Am I permitted to swoon? By the way, which one did you pick? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/99 "2002-04-22T05:07:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by galen ubal \* > \*\* > > Am I permitted to swoon? > > By the way, which one did you pick? \*\* **Galen** my darling, you can swoon in my direction anytime. 😉 I decided on bottom right - I liked the angles in it the best. Sort of a nifty “S” thing going on. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2002, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856/100 "2002-04-22T05:11:13Z")
Ok, that would be bottom _LEFT_ of course… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-please-quit-commenting-on-my-appearance/103856.md?page=6)