# A mild rant to jarmommy **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 23, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095 "2001-10-23T15:30:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/41 "2001-10-24T15:51:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*And the jarbabyj award for MOST VICIOUSLY HIJACKED THREAD goes to… > 😃 \*\* You mean you can’t tell these jokes to your mom? ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/42 "2001-10-24T15:51:54Z")
**Fiver** - it could have been a typo on **Uke** ’s part, forgetting the ‘ant’ part of the penguins’ habitat. I do have ant bites right now and they itch like hell. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/43 "2001-10-24T16:00:28Z")
I know exactly what you mean, **screech-owl**. I don’t care for my Aunt Frances either. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/44 "2001-10-24T16:02:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > I do have ant bites right now and they itch like hell. I bet they’re fire ant bites. Those things can itch for days. **jarbabyj** , I’m still waiting to hear the winner of that award. I swear, all you female award-presenters like to get up in front of the cameras and wear those low-cut, see-through dresses and such and just stand there and preen while we gawk at the beautiful expanse of boob-flesh on display and drool and generally make idiots of ourselves just because there’s a beautiful woman standing there with her boobs on display. We never find out who won the dadgum award because you just want to show off your boobs. Mmmm … boobs. I’m sorry, what were we saying? ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/45 "2001-10-24T16:09:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Scott: Listen, I gotta fight the lion. That’s what that guy Scott’s all about. I know. I’ve studied him already. > > Schlick: But why couldn’t you fight a penguin? > > McRettin: Great! (falls over) > > Scott: Fight a rotten penguin? > > Schlick: It needn’t be a little penguin. It can be the biggest penguin you’ve ever seen. An electric penguin, twenty feet high, with long green tentacles that sting people, and you can stab it in the wings and the blood can go spurting psssssshhhh in slow motion. You see, now there’s a situation where a duck just wouldn’t make any sense. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/46 "2001-10-24T16:12:37Z")
all you mother fuckers be bullshit :: stalks off angry:: ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/47 "2001-10-24T16:21:22Z")
**screech** : I TOLD you it needed work. **Fiver** : Did I ever tell you that I lived in France when I was nineteen? You know, all these American tourists who complain about how snotty the Parisians are, I just don’t get it. I thought they treated me wonderfully, and I had a great time. As long as you try to communicate with them in French and don’t bang your fist on the cafe tables and make loud demands in English, the Parisians can’t do enough for you. And those French women…Ooh, la la! Yes, I’d recommend a trip to France to just about anyone. Even for your aunt, France’s wonderful! ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/48 "2001-10-24T16:22:45Z")
So, **screech-owl** , are you gonna swear out a warrant against your Aunt Frances for biting you, or what? ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/49 "2001-10-24T16:49:37Z")
Is **jarbabyj** really angry? If so, I apologize for any inadvertant hijacking; I thought I was going along with the “suggested jokes for jarmommy” thing. And **Ukelele Ike** deserves **pun** ishment of the severest sort. Mebbe being locked in a small room with Jerry Lewis for a decade or so. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/50 "2001-10-24T16:56:01Z")
Yes. You can always tell when I’m angry, because I resort to ebonics. 😃 Actually, I don’t care. I was just hoping to hear more stories about people ruining good jokes. For instance, I sent my mother (who doesn’t like swearing or drinking or ‘naughty talk’) the ducks going to the zoo joke and she said: “How did he get all those ducks in the first place?” So you see what I’m up against. j ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/51 "2001-10-24T17:00:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*all you mother fuckers be bullshit > > :: stalks off angry:: \*\* (Is she gone?) Good, I thought she’d never leave this thread. All those duck & penguin jokes were kind of cruel, but we had to make sure she’d flee. Now we can start planning the “We love **jarbaby** ” surprise party. Okay now, the hall is rented. I’ve talked to Till’s people, and he’ll be arriving that afternoon. We’ve got a lot of people signed up to bring desserts, but we still could use a couple of appetizers. Ooh, and ice, gotta have ice. Now as far as presents go… Wait, here she comes. Everyone shuddup you mouth about this. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/52 "2001-10-24T17:11:13Z")
Try watching _The Kids in the Hall_ with your mom: Dave Foley (in evening gown accepting award): I’d like to thank my producer, and the writers, and everyone at the studio. I’d like to thank Mark and Amy for their support. I’d like to thank Hitler, and I’d like to thank… Pete’ mom: Why did he thank Hitler? Pete: It’s a joke. Mom: Hitler is a joke to you kids? Pete: But that’s the joke. Mom: You think Nazis are funny? and so on, and so on, and so on… _Q. Why do ducks have webbed feet? A. From stomping out forest fires. Q. Then, why do elephants have flat feet? A. From stomping out flaming ducks!_ ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/53 "2001-10-24T17:13:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*“How did he get all those ducks in the first place?” \*\* LOL Sorry, **jarbaby** , but that’s really funny. Is she doing that on purpose, or is she just clueless? If the latter, then she’s not ruining jokes, she’s the perfect straight (wo)man. She’s Data! Take advantage of it! ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/54 "2001-10-24T17:16:16Z")
Aaarrrrrgggghhhh!!! I hate fucking delay. I draft up the jarbaby party thread, hit submit, while waiting notice that she’s posted, cancel submit, reload the thread. Phew, looks like it cancelled. Write new repsonse. Fuck there it is, the curse of the new page. I hate Wednesdays. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/55 "2001-10-24T17:21:55Z")
Does that mean Till isn’t coming? to the party I mean? ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/56 "2001-10-24T17:28:46Z")
Who’s Till? Eulenspiegel? Therewasyou? Thesunshinesnellie? Iwaltzagainwithyou? Themorningcomes? Wemeetagain? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/57 "2001-10-24T17:34:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pcubed \* > **Ooh, and ice, gotta have ice.** PLENTY of ice. I’m bringing the penguins. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/58 "2001-10-24T17:37:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by screech-owl \* > \*\*Who’s Till? > > Eulenspiegel? > Therewasyou? > Thesunshinesnellie? > Iwaltzagainwithyou? > Themorningcomes? > Wemeetagain? \*\* [Till. Man of Mystery](http://www.geocities.com/jarbabyj/wwtd/wwtd.html) ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/59 "2001-10-24T17:38:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*I’m bringing the penguins. \*\* Cool, that takes care of dinner, because as we all know… (Wait for it) [Hobo on train in Bugs Bunny Cartoon] Pen-goo-wins is prac-tic-a-ly chicken. [/Hobo] ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mild-rant-to-jarmommy/89095/60 "2001-10-24T17:43:26Z")
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