# "A Mind is a Terrible Thing"--Help Me Remember This Comedy Skit **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 8, 2006, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015 "2006-01-08T15:40:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/21 "2006-01-09T15:25:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Lance, University of San Francisco… tight end. “Next year, I hope to be a wide receiver!” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/22 "2006-01-09T15:55:00Z")
> [@Mach Tuck](#): > > Bob Nelson, a stand-up comic from Long Island. And that answers a _very_ old question! I remember a kid from my elementary school making a lot of people laugh by doing this routine. I knew it wasn’t his, but I never knew who actually created it. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/23 "2006-01-09T16:11:20Z")
“Because a mind is a terrible thing. It must be stopped at all costs.” This is one of those instances of a white guy playing a dumb black guy that was just too hilarious to be offensive. There are posters out there who claim it can’t be done. It can be done. Good times. Thanks for reminding me. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/24 "2006-01-09T17:48:55Z")
“i do not go out on the field without my helmet (taps shoulderpads) and my shoulder-me-pads (taps helmet), do not go out on the field without these things on, because you could get seriously killed, i myself when i was a little children, i was playing football with my freinds, and my head was accientally ripped from my body, and my head were layin’ in the mud, and my body was running around tackling like this (mimes tackling), somehow somebody put my head back on my body, and the doctors said that i had dain bramage” “nobody ever know what a umicef is, i do, i seen 'em, they, they look like a umicorn, but they aint no umicorn, they’s a umicef, a man with a wayne johnson sticking out the top of their head, please give to umicef, they need your money desperatly…to buy hats, or you could give to the United Negro college Fund, i give to the United Negro College Fund because the mind is a terrible thing…and it must be stopped, in our lifetime…before i kill somebody, i’ve been playing football all my life, and if i did not play football, i would not be playing football today…this has been an announcement from the MFL…no, the NFL, the National Football League, thank you very much…” ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2006, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/25 "2006-01-09T20:19:46Z")
Oh, wow, these lines you all brought up are killing me! (ROFLMAO) How on earth could I have forgotten them?? I MUST buy that video that BoringDad was so kind as to Google up! ---
**Author:** ![Barrtrack2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Barrtrack2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barrtrack2)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/26 "2017-11-14T18:27:30Z")
Bob Saget ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/27 "2017-11-14T18:33:15Z")
Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there! Someone registered just to post the wrong answer to a thread that had already been answered almost 12 years ago! That’s hilarious! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/28 "2017-11-14T18:38:23Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there! Someone registered just to post the wrong answer to a thread that had already been answered almost 12 years ago! That’s hilarious! That’s ok. I think Bob Nelson is still doing the same exact act so time doesn’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/29 "2017-11-14T20:39:06Z")
From vague memories: “One of the most important pieces of equipment is the cup. It ain’t no coffee cup, it ain’t no teacup and you sure as hell don’t wanna be drinkin’ nothing out of it. Watch … _punches self repeatedly in groin_ … (in strained voice) So … I don’t have my cup on, and I can’t see shit right now … “ Teenaged me thought that was some of the funniest shit he’d ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2017, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/30 "2017-11-14T21:07:56Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > That’s ok. I think Bob Nelson is still doing the same exact act so time doesn’t matter. It’s hilarious because the question was answered many times, and the new guy still got the answer wrong. > [@neofishboy](#): > > From vague memories: > > “One of the most important pieces of equipment is the cup. It ain’t no coffee cup, it ain’t no teacup and you sure as hell don’t wanna be drinkin’ nothing out of it. Watch … _punches self repeatedly in groin_ … (in strained voice) So … I don’t have my cup on, and I can’t see shit right now … “ > > Teenaged me thought that was some of the funniest shit he’d ever seen. I dunno if he’s still doing the same act, but thanks to the wonders of modern technology, we can still watch [the original from Rodney Dangerfield’s Young Comedian’s Special](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BerJdS2VJhA). (5:05 for the NAACP slogan bit). ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2017, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/31 "2017-11-15T21:01:55Z")
I can’t watch the video. Is that the comedian with two balloons? “My dream girl.” _puts the balloons under his jersey_ “My dream girl lying on her back.” _puts the balloons under his armpits_ Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/32 "2017-11-15T21:25:42Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I can’t watch the video. Is that the comedian with two balloons? Yes, that’s him. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2017, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015/33 "2017-11-15T21:32:44Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > It’s hilarious because the question was answered many times, and the new guy still got the answer wrong. > I dunno if he’s still doing the same act, but thanks to the wonders of modern technology, we can still watch [the original from Rodney Dangerfield’s Young Comedian’s Special](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BerJdS2VJhA). (5:05 for the NAACP slogan bit). But he got it wrong with confidence. I listen to a lot of comedy podcasts. Most comics follow the code of not shitting on another comic’s act in public. They rip each other to shreds for laughs but most won’t genuinely critique another’s act. One topic I’ve heard discussion is road comics who make a good living playing in clubs using the same act they have been doing for 30 years. It was heavily implied that Bob Nelson was one of those comics. > [@Shodan](#): > > I can’t watch the video. Is that the comedian with two balloons? > > “My dream girl.” _puts the balloons under his jersey_ > > “My dream girl lying on her back.” _puts the balloons under his armpits_ > > Regards, > Shodan Yes that’s the one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-help-me-remember-this-comedy-skit/339015.md?page=1)