# A miscarriage, a pregnancy and a death (long) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 14, 2002, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376 "2002-09-14T01:02:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/1 "2002-09-14T01:02:39Z")
In a previous thread: [Mr Asshole - Passport Control](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=130913) I talked about my wife, **Washte** going to the US to visit her father who was suffering from lung cancer. Before she left, **Washte** suspected that she may be pregnant. Having had four miscarriages in the two years we’ve been married, the idea of all the flying mentioned in the previous thread did not fill us with glee. But with her dad being in a really bad way, she decided that she had to go. So **Washte** got to spend some time with her mom and dad, cooked 'em some lovely English grub (Toad in the hole with mashed potatos and mushy peas - yum!) and helped with her dad’s care. She told her folks that she thought she may be pregnant, then got a test kit and found out that she was. The news excited her dad and seemed to give him a bit more life. Then on the Sunday before she had to leave, she started to bleed. She knew what was happening and so excused herself to go lay down in her trailer. A couple of hours later she was woken by her brother in law, who told her that her dad was having trouble breathing and was being taken to ER. **Washte** got up and went with him. While in the ER, a nurse saw that she wasn’t looking too good and asked her what was wrong. When **Washte** told her she rushed into action and got her looked at. **Washte** was quite worried about paying for all this, said that she couldn’t afford treatment many times and was directed to the signs on the walls that said that in cases such as her’s she had to be treated if she could pay or not. (This I am gonna point out when we get sent any bill). Sadly, very sadly, my wife had lost a fifth child. But there is good news even at time like this. She had been carrying twins and only one had been lost. After being given a shot or two **Washte** was cut loose and went back to her folk’s place (her dad had been treated and sent back home an hour or two earlier). So then she spent a couple more days with her folks before coming home (The doctor had cleared her to travel). We had a couple of scares over that weekend, but a scan showed us our lovely chavvie had doubled in size and his little heart was beating ten to the dozen. This week, we’ve had our first visit to the midwife. It looks like some health issues **Washte** has will make this a difficult pregnancy and she’ll be looked at by the hospital, not the midwife. Today, we got an email from her mom asking us to call. **Washte’s** dad passed away yesterday (12th September) at 5pm. He had just been released by the hospital after a short stay and had slept peacefully the previous night. He spent his last day almost comatose but awoke about 4.50pm when the pastor from the hospital popped in to see him and say a few words. He asked the pastor to read Psalm 23 and passed away just as he finished reading. To my Father in Law, Jimmie Knight: You, sir, were a wonderful man. I treasured the time I got to spend in your company and am saddend by your passing. You died well, with dignity and style. Travel on, travel well and please - if you would - keep an eye on our baby. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/2 "2002-09-14T01:12:57Z")
How sad, and how exciting. It’s good that **Washte** got to see her dad before he died, and I’m sure it was a comfort to him and her mother. I wish you both the best with the pregnancy - sending all the good thoughts I can muster in your general direction! ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/3 "2002-09-14T10:11:26Z")
I just wanted to offer you my condolences and my congratulations. CJ ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/4 "2002-09-14T10:22:30Z")
Kal, i’m so sorry for your family’s losses. and i’m so glad for your good news. my thoughts are with you and Washte and your families. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/5 "2002-09-14T12:05:10Z")
Talk about mixed emotions… My condolences for your loss, and my heartfelt best wishes for your family. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/6 "2002-09-14T12:53:34Z")
Thank you for your kind thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/7 "2002-09-14T19:08:22Z")
My prayers and my heart go out to you. I am so sorry you lost your dad…but it warms my heart that he was such a wonderful guy that his SIL mourns him as a father. You must be very proud of him, and of the relationship you two had. I am so very sorry that you and **Washte** suffered these great losses…but VERY happy that you are going to have a baby! And…how wonderful that dad got to share the good news before he moved on. All my best to the both of you. Much Love, Cheri ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/8 "2002-09-14T22:42:28Z")
i will keep y’all in my thoughts and prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2002, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/9 "2002-09-14T23:23:40Z")
Thanks for that **Scotticher**. Yes, it really perked him up to find out that **Washte** was pregnant and also that she got to see him. He knew his time was short and said that he hoped that he could hold on until she got back home, he didn’t want to cause another miscarriage. We were able to let him know that everything was okay and the baby was growing well. My mother in law told us that made him happy. Yeah, I thought of him as a father to me and he in turn called me “The son I never had”. I had a huge falling out with my own dad 18 years ago (and when two Gypsies fall out, they _really_ fall out.) so found that acceptance from him to be wonderful. I won’t bother talking about his character, because I just thought that he was great. That and my blubbing makes typing hard. Next week he’s gonna be cremated. His ashes are gonna be stored until the next time **Washte** and I can go over there - with the chavvie that may make it a year or two from now. Then we’re all gonna take a trip to his favourite spot, where his old friend Hoagy’s ashes were scattered and do the same for him. It’ll be nice to say goodbye. Kushti bok, Kal ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2002, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/10 "2002-09-20T02:44:52Z")
"And the circle goes round and round . . . " My condolences on your family’s loss, my best wishes to all of you in this most trying time. I appreciate you sharing this with us, it’s sadness but sweet too, good family stories always are. All blessings to you and especially your baby. your humble TubaDiva ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2002, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/11 "2002-09-20T03:08:27Z")
Well, my reply got lost in the outage. Doesn’t matter, though. You know what I said. And I still mean it with all my heart. 🙂 F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/12 "2002-09-22T21:30:03Z")
Thank you **Tubadiva** and **Flammie**. About 6 hours ago, **Washte** started bleeding. She’s been admitted to hospital and will be having a scan tomorrow morning to see what’s happening. On the positive side, the bleeding has virtually stopped. We are hoping for the best but preparing ourselves for the worst. Once again, we both thank you for all your kind words. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/13 "2002-09-22T22:59:00Z")
Prayers and postive, healing, HEALTHY BABY thoughts coming your way… Much Love, Cheri ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/14 "2002-09-23T21:29:17Z")
It is with great sadness that I have to tell you our baby died. **Washte** was scanned this morning and there was no heartbeat. Our big, beautiful baby had died. Late this afternoon, **Washte** had a D&C and is now recovering in hospital. With luck she will be home tomorrow. Thank you to everyone for your prayers, good thoughts and best wishes. I’m sorry our story didn’t have a happy ending, not all do. Kal ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/15 "2002-09-23T21:33:02Z")
My condolences to you and **Washte**. StG ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/16 "2002-09-23T23:56:55Z")
I’m so sorry. My heart aches for you both. I am sure that Washte’s father gathered joy from the fact that a baby was in the picture. My own father passed away in June, shortly after I told him I was able to return to work after a long and serious illness. I truly believe that people in the various stages of dying take comfort in good news. My sincere condolences to you both. May you find a peaceful path to make it through this series of horrible events. ---
**Author:** ![tsarina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@tsarina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tsarina)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/17 "2002-09-24T01:33:29Z")
I do hope you become parents eventually, through the birth of your own child or through adoption, because you sound like you’d be terrific at it. I’ll be sending good thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/18 "2002-09-24T02:04:37Z")
I’m so sorry. I take heart in the fact that you so obviously love each other so much…I know that when the time comes you will be so VERY good about sharing that love with a child. Prayers and best wishes and hopes for the future! Much Love, Cheri ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/19 "2002-09-24T10:26:35Z")
{{{{kal and washte}}}} Your kind words to me last week meant a lot. I just wish I could do something for you now. Please consider me standing by with hugs and tissues. CJ ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376/20 "2002-09-24T11:16:09Z")
(((Kal &Washte))) i’m so sorry. heartfelt condolences and you are in my thoughts [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-miscarriage-a-pregnancy-and-a-death-long/128376.md?page=2)