# A modest proposal (and she modestly accepted) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 8, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671 "2007-11-08T17:19:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/1 "2007-11-08T17:19:42Z")
Almost a year ago (10 days short, I just checked) I received a note in response to my personal ad posted on Craig’s List. I personal ad was loooong. I figured write it all, they might as well reject me sooner than later for some quibbling detail. (In retrospect, it was too long but I only posted it once.) She suffered through my novella and wrote back a couple paragraphs that caught my attention immediately. First face-to-face date three weeks later (Red Robin at lunchtime followed by a long walk). Became “exclusive” in March and she met my kids formally around June. Fast forward to Tuesday. It was her birthday (She’s almost two years younger than I). I had two gifts, one to give if she said yes, one if she said “no”. I gave her the smaller package (she’ll get the other at Christmas now.) It’s a token, but a pretty one. My finances are still devastated by the post-divorce process so it’s not a diamond but it is pretty, flashes with her favorite colors, and caught my eye as “just the thing”. She’s really very wonderful and makes me happy. We have the ability to sit quietly together, doing nothing, and doesn’t require me to entertain her in order to have a nice evening. We have fun, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not going out to a club or dancing the night away. Cards with friends, dinner out, a movie, game-night playing “Scene-it” or Scrabble. Quieter times but hand-in-hand while doing it. Last night I cooked her a nice steak dinner (bought New-York strips to celebrate the engagement) and we watched a DVD while snuggling on my bed. We both come with our baggage, mine centers around a slightly caustic (but slowly improving) relationship with my ex and three children much younger than most 42-year old men have. Hers is damage left behind by an suicidal (inept but successful) ex-husband and a 15-year old daughter who’s early involvement with drugs and sex makes me very nervous. A long engagement, steady thoughtful steps, shared faith, and time will be our friends. The wedding is at some nebulous future date - right now she’s thinking 1Q09 and I’m thinking Fall '08. For now, it’s a traditional relationship, she’s living at her home, me at mine. Maybe there will be the “rent with an option to buy” cohabitation come mid-summer but there’s still child custody issues to work out on my side that will throttle decisions like that. I’m kind-of twitterpated today. She wrote me a first-thing-in-the-morning email with the subject of “Morning, Fiance” and that feels good. Wow. Here I go again… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/2 "2007-11-08T17:27:40Z")
Sounds like despite your caution, she’s just too good to pass up. Congrats, lucky guy. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/3 "2007-11-08T17:32:07Z")
Congrats! Is she a doper as well? ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/4 "2007-11-08T17:55:37Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] Congrats! Is she a doper as well? [/QUOTE] Nope - I’m actually a bit happy about this. This has been my place to admit some embarrassing stuff and a place to poll about the bad things in my last marriage. Kind-of my private space (well, private between just me and the teeming millions). ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/5 "2007-11-08T18:18:11Z")
Congratulations. Blessings on you both, and all the kids, too. I hope things will keep getting better and better for you all. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/6 "2007-11-08T18:40:48Z")
Congratulations, **Belrix**. May you and she be happy. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/7 "2007-11-08T19:02:07Z")
Congratulations. Wishing you both a lifetime of love and joy together. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/8 "2007-11-08T19:11:04Z")
I thought this was going to be about eating children. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/9 "2007-11-08T19:15:12Z")
Another pat on the back for you, **Belrix** …it’s good to hear that someone nice is coming your way. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/10 "2007-11-08T19:16:28Z")
[QUOTE=lobstermobster] I thought this was going to be about eating children. [/QUOTE] Ok, it’s time for your daily spanking. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/11 "2007-11-08T20:07:05Z")
Congratulations! I’m sure you’ve both learned a lot over the years, and that can only enrich your relationship. A night cuddling in front of a DVD…swoon! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/12 "2007-11-08T21:12:04Z")
That’s awesome! Congratulations to you both. I wish you every happiness. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/13 "2007-11-08T22:30:22Z")
Well I hope you’re happy. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/14 "2007-11-08T22:35:23Z")
Good going, **Belrix**. That’s wonderful news. I hope you feel as healthy as you sound. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/15 "2007-11-08T22:38:51Z")
Always makes my day when I can sincerely congratulate someone. Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/16 "2007-11-08T23:02:21Z")
Good show, **Belrix**! Many long & happy years to you both. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/17 "2007-11-08T23:54:04Z")
Congratulations! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/18 "2007-11-09T00:11:26Z")
Congrats! There’s really nothing like having someone to play board games with. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/19 "2007-11-09T01:18:53Z")
[QUOTE=lobstermobster] I thought this was going to be about eating children. [/QUOTE] Well, to save costs at the wedding dinner… I’ll show myself into the handbasket. Congratulations, **Belrix**! _smooch_ ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2007, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671/20 "2007-11-09T02:31:06Z")
[QUOTE=Belrix] Nope - I’m actually a bit happy about this. This has been my place to admit some embarrassing stuff and a place to poll about the bad things in my last marriage. Kind-of my private space (well, private between just me and the teeming millions). [/QUOTE] Don’t feel the least bit bad about that, **Belrix**. If I had it all to do over again, I’d have fought harder to keep the Dope to myself as well. Now that the missus is the ex-to-be, I know that any future Love o’ My Life will be one of two types: the type that’s perfectly happy to let me have the Dope to myself or someone I meet here, who’s already been exposed to the kind of foolishness I reveal to the TM. And congratulations, dude! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-modest-proposal-and-she-modestly-accepted/425671.md?page=2)