# A momentary lift
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [July 28, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636 "2011-07-28T16:33:21Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/1 "2011-07-28T16:33:21Z")
So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you hear from me, that’s on the worst day of my life.
A few minutes ago, however, someone handed me a brand new Rio Red Swingline 747 stapler, and a box of the premium!!! staples recommended for that model. So, looks like it’s not the worst day of my life after all. Ask me again tomorrow.
That is all.
---
### Author:  [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2011, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/2 "2011-07-28T16:35:21Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#):
>
> So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you hear from me, that’s on the worst day of my life.
>
> A few minutes ago, however, someone handed me a brand new Rio Red Swingline 747 stapler, and a box of the premium!!! staples recommended for that model. So, looks like it’s not the worst day of my life after all. Ask me again tomorrow.
>
> That is all.
Um, excuse me, but I believe you have MY stapler. I’d like it back please…
---
### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2011, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/3 "2011-07-28T16:50:50Z")
> [@Labtrash](#):
>
> Um, excuse me, but I believe you have MY stapler. I’d like it back please…
Yeah, well, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I’m keeping my Swingline stapler because it doesn’t bind up as much, and I’m keeping the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire.
---
### Author:  [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2011, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/4 "2011-07-28T16:53:37Z")
Just remember listen to your radio at a reasonable volume between 9 and 11. That’s all I ask.
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### Author:  [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2011, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/5 "2011-07-28T17:10:42Z")
and please for the love of god DON’T show us your O face. That’s all I ask.
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### Author:  [@FrancisCastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrancisCastle)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2011, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/6 "2011-07-28T17:13:37Z")
Just as long as I get a piece of cake. Last time I didn’t get one.
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### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/7 "2011-07-28T18:03:13Z")
And don’t put strychnine in the guacamole.
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### Author:  [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/8 "2011-07-28T18:49:55Z")
PC load letter? What the f\*\*k does that mean?
Congrats on your new stapler, dude. I hope it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
PS… If you’re ever feeling down, try creating some staple art. You know, staple a picture onto a piece of paper. It’s pretty fun. Nothing better than using office supplies to create beautiful works of art.
---
### Author:  [@Bri2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bri2k)
#### Post date: [July 28, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/9 "2011-07-28T21:27:34Z")
Never underestimate the power of a [Swingline](http://www.acco.com/swingline/default.aspx)!
Glad to hear things are looking up, **El\_Kabong**! May this be the first in a run of good luck for you!
Bri2k
---
### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/10 "2011-07-29T12:04:08Z")
This thread lacks flair.
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### Author:  [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/11 "2011-07-29T13:19:53Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#):
>
> This thread lacks flair.
It has the minimum required amount of flair.
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### Author:  [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/12 "2011-07-29T13:51:46Z")
Why is that a simple thing like a stapler can’t be made right? It’s so difficult to end up with properly working stapler… or is it just me?
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### Author:  [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/13 "2011-07-29T13:54:07Z")
Yeah, I’m gonna need you to come in on Saturday…
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### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/14 "2011-07-29T14:15:32Z")
> [@Snickers](#):
>
> Yeah, I’m gonna need you to come in on Saturday…
Well, I, uh, I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore.
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### Author:  [@howye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/howye)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/15 "2011-07-29T14:18:45Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#):
>
> Well, I, uh, I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore.
So you’re going to quit?
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### Author:  [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/16 "2011-07-29T14:26:31Z")
You know what would be nice right now? Some Michael Bolton music.
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### Author:  [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/17 "2011-07-29T14:29:07Z")
> [@howye](#):
>
> So you’re going to quit?
Not really. I’m, uh, just gonna stop going.
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### Author:  [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/18 "2011-07-29T14:50:26Z")
> [@Satchmo](#):
>
> It has the minimum required amount of flair.
But do you want to be the kind of person who does the _minimum_?
---
### Author:  [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/19 "2011-07-29T15:31:17Z")
[QUOTE=El\_Kabong]
… Ask me again tomorrow.
[/QUOTE]
Well now it’s tomorrow, how’s it going?
I just got a handful of red post-office rubber bands from stationary, so not too shabby today.
---
### Author:  [@BlakeTyner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlakeTyner)
#### Post date: [July 29, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-momentary-lift/590636/20 "2011-07-29T15:57:09Z")
Guys! Check out channel nine! The breast exam is on!
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