# A morbid question: What happens to SDMB if Cecil dies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 29, 2004, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090 "2004-12-29T14:05:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smoke)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/21 "2004-12-29T16:57:15Z")
Why does it list him as “ABANDONED” on the trademark site? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/22 "2004-12-29T17:05:04Z")
Dear Dead Cecil, So, what’s the straight dope on the Afterlife? ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/23 "2004-12-29T17:11:36Z")
> [@Uvula Donor](#): > > Cecil, like any other [fictional character registered as a trademark](http://tess2.uspto.gov/bin/showfield?f=doc&state=2hn2n0.2.1), will only “die” when the Chicago Reader has no further use of “him”. Uh, sorry to have to tell you this, chaps… > [@](#): > > Live/Dead Indicator **DEAD** > > Abandonment Date \*\*March 29, 1989 \*\* Looks like ol’ Cece has been Fighting Decomposition Since 1989[sup]TM[/sup] (It’s… well, taken longer than we thought). ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/24 "2004-12-29T17:13:47Z")
So he has been fighting ignorance in the afterlife since 1989? ☹ Still, he might find a lot of it to fight, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/25 "2004-12-29T17:17:26Z")
If you read the bottom of the page you will see that “The Straight Dope by Cecil Adams” is a registered trademark of the Chicago Reader. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/26 "2004-12-29T17:17:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Looks like ol’ Cece has been Fighting Decomposition Since 1989TM (It’s… well, taken longer than we thought). _guffaw_ _snerk_ _chortle_ _sputter and spew_ _wanders off looking for paper towels_ ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/27 "2004-12-29T17:25:41Z")
Will we Dopers be one day viewed as cultists? Cecil, Happy New Year! ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/28 "2004-12-29T17:26:20Z")
> [@smoke](#): > > Why does it list him as “ABANDONED” on the trademark site? Abandoned? Say it ain’t so! I hope those bastards didn’t abandon him in some frozen wasteland, like Alaska or Siberia. Maybe we could all chip in a few bucks for a plane ticket to get him back to civilization. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/29 "2004-12-29T17:27:08Z")
Hmm. The plot thickens. > [@](#): > > Abandonment Date \*\*March 29, 1989 \*\* > [@](#): > > \*\*March 29, 1989 \*\* in [History](http://www.brainyhistory.com/events/1989/march_29_1989_162289.html) > > Event: > 1st US private commercial rocket makes suborbital test flight :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![aahala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e4f/32.png) [@aahala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aahala)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/30 "2004-12-29T17:35:51Z")
I’ll say what I said in the Jan 2003 thread titled “How old is Ceciil?” Cecil was cloned many times over the years, so all the above answers are correct for certain additions (I found my quote because I remembered Cecil posted immediately after me in that thread. He also showed is his wisdom, by completing ignoring my post.) ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/31 "2004-12-29T17:44:54Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > Hmm. The plot thickens. > > > [@](#): > > > > Abandonment Date **March 29, 1989** > > > [@](#): > > > > **March 29, 1989** in [History](http://www.brainyhistory.com/events/1989/march_29_1989_162289.html) > > > > Event: > > 1st US private commercial rocket makes suborbital test flight > > :dubious: Er, didn’t that rocket get smashed in a zillion pieces when it hit the ocean? :eek: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/32 "2004-12-29T17:53:35Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > Er, didn’t that rocket get smashed in a zillion pieces when it hit the ocean? :eek: ☹ A zillion? I doubt it. 17,541 at most. ---
**Author:** ![\_len](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/c0e974/32.png) [@\_len](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_len)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/33 "2004-12-29T18:02:17Z")
Rats, Colophon. Maybe we ought to take a closer look at those asteroid impact calculations. I suppose we could always worship Cecil as a deity, making our leader wear a funny hat, laying siege to Jerusalem (Chicago, your choice), and generally studying Cecil’s writings as if we were Talmudic scholars. But that’s _soooooo_ been done. And besides, Mel Gibson might want to make a movie about it, another disincentive. I propose that, should Cecil’s fateful day come, we pester Congress until they make Cecil’s birthday a national holiday. Endless years of schoolchildren will be required to learn some sort of vague generalization about Cecil’s life. With any luck, we’ll be able to create an entire mythology around his life. (Ummm, not that your reputation requires embellishing, Unca’ Cecil…bow, bow, scrape, scrape.) Then we’ll go on cable TV and start telling people how the whole country’s been going to H-E-double-hockey-sticks since Cecil died, and how Cecil would have wanted us to live our lives. If we play our cards right, we could milk that gig for a long, long time. And I think that’s what Cecil would have wanted. Len ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/34 "2004-12-29T18:06:08Z")
Does anyone know when The Great One’s birthday is, anyways? ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/35 "2004-12-29T18:17:34Z")
Probably the same day as Betty Crocker’s, Ronald McDonald’s, Speedy Alkaseltzer’s, or Bugs Bunny’s. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/36 "2004-12-29T19:00:24Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Does anyone know when The Great One’s birthday is, anyways? Well… > [@](#): > > Filing Date **November 24, 1986** Cecil ain’t even old enough to drink!! But wait - he died at the age of two anyway ☹ Or did he? > [@](#): > > FIRST USE: **19730202**. FIRST USE IN COMMERCE: **19730202** Cecil was Fighting Ignorance[sup]TM[/sup] more than 13 years before he was born! Now there’s dedication for you. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/37 "2004-12-29T19:02:02Z")
Not only is “he” dead, but: > [@US Patent & Trademark Office](#): > > CECIL ADAMS DOES NOT IDENTIFY ANY PARTICULAR INDIVIDUAL BUT WAS DEVISED AS A FANCIFUL NAME \ It’s taken us 21 years to figure this out? It does take longer than orignally thought! ---
**Author:** ![\_len](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/c0e974/32.png) [@\_len](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_len)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/38 "2004-12-29T21:12:45Z")
Obviously a conspiracy to make us think Cecil doesn’t exist. I take it no one has to be reminded that the government makes or covers up a convenient “fact” now and again to suit their own ends. Present administrations excluded, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/39 "2004-12-29T22:24:35Z")
> [@braintree](#): > > Isn’t it like Jonestown? Don’t we all have to die too? “All right, everybody, time to eat of the semen trees…” ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/40 "2004-12-29T22:31:57Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > “All right, everybody, time to eat of the semen trees…” Not regular pan fried semen? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090.md?page=3)