# A morbid question: What happens to SDMB if Cecil dies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 29, 2004, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090 "2004-12-29T14:05:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/81 "2005-01-02T05:50:40Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Actually, the clue is in the final words of Ed’s afterword to one of the Cecil collections. He expresses surprise that everyone is quite willing to assume that his real name is Ed Zotti. > > (Where’s the best place to hide something?) In the waste-bin at the foot of the stairs on the northwest corner of the Dearborn Street stop on the El. Why? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/82 "2005-01-02T16:18:00Z")
YAY! My first threadspotting! 9000+ posts of pure crap and in one felled swoop I not only get Threadspotting, but **The Perfect Master** to respond. Thanks, Cartooniverse! Whooooo Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooo! ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/83 "2005-01-03T00:20:30Z")
> [@The Gaspode](#): > > um, no. > Many real people are ™, e.g. Billy Joel: > I for one believe that with Cecil, it’s the same as with Dr. Who. Many people, but only one Doctor. And all of them are the Doctor and it’s all true. > > I suppose we dopers are the daleks. No, we’d be the Cybermen. Normal humans enhanced beyond our limits. 🙂 That’s similiar to what I first heard years ago: that “Cecil Adams” is the _nom de guerre_ used by the Straight Dope Advisory Board when they unanimously (or nearly so) agree on the answer to a question. When there’s significant opposition to the majority viewpoint the reply gets attributed to a named individual on that board. Over time the SDAB membership will change but the SDAB as personified by Cecil will be eternal. I have no idea if this is true and don’t expect we’re going to get an answer here, but it’s something to consider. Nor for that matter do I recall who made the claim initially, it’s not my original theory. For all I know he’s really a highly-evolved decendant of the old Eliza/SIMP program from decades past. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/84 "2005-01-03T00:55:20Z")
\<------------kneels down, bows over , prostrates self before **Shirley**. To quote Robin Williams in **Bicentennial Man** " One is pleased to be of service. " 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/85 "2005-01-03T02:57:18Z")
> [@Cynical Optimist](#): > > No, we’d be the Cybermen. Normal humans enhanced beyond our limits. 🙂 > > That’s similiar to what I first heard years ago: that “Cecil Adams” is the _nom de guerre_ used by the Straight Dope Advisory Board when they unanimously (or nearly so) agree on the answer to a question. When there’s significant opposition to the majority viewpoint the reply gets attributed to a named individual on that board. Over time the SDAB membership will change but the SDAB as personified by Cecil will be eternal. > > I have no idea if this is true and don’t expect we’re going to get an answer here, but it’s something to consider. Nor for that matter do I recall who made the claim initially, it’s not my original theory. For all I know he’s really a highly-evolved decendant of the old Eliza/SIMP program from decades past. **Cecil Adams** is a _per curiam_ opinion!? :smack: I love it! My theory: **Cecil Adams** is a pseudonym under which someone with an unusual name – call him Zbigniew – writes columns. Like Esther Pauline Lederer’s pseudonym, it is not the intellectual property of the individual using it, but of the Chicago Reader, Inc. Others, including **Ed Zotti** , have from time to time generated prose under the name (whether original or adapting Zbigniew’s “Cecil Adams” work, I don’t know). Because Zbigniew does not care for the limelight, other than this board, the individual we know as **Ed Zotti** does, or did, the occasional public appearance as “Cecil Adams,” as well as being Zbigniew’s longtime editor. This accounts for all the facts we know about him, including the insistence that he is a single real person who is not **Ed** , and also the evidence pointing to its being a Reader trademark and to the “real Cecil Adams is Ed Zotti” evidence. (But is “Ed Zotti” really someone named Ed Zotti?) That’s all I have, other than the fact that Ed Zotti anagrams to “tit doze” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/86 "2005-01-03T03:15:05Z")
> [@sturmhauke](#): > > It’s really very simple. Cecil is like the Speaker for the Dead, only without so much empathy and more wisdom and intelligence of the gluteus. He travels about the universe at .99c, experiencing time extremely slowly relative to us yet still able to communicate by means of instantaneous hyperspace transmission. He’s not immortal or anything, but he’ll sure live a lot longer with this method than most of us :wally:es. I think I just choked on a strand of philotic twine. 😉 > [@Tripler](#): > > So you’re saying Cecil is. . . _The Pope_? > > Wow. This is a bigger conspiracy than I thought. Personally, I for one welcome our new divinely-ascended, Jack-Chick-hated, supreme all-knowing overlord. > > Tripler > But if we all have to die like Jamestown, may it be by the muzzle of a 1920s-style Death Ray. Straight Dope? You thought it said Straight Dope. Nawww, this is The Straight _Pope_. No one loves catholics more than Unca Cecil. [Take his word for it](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=289928): > [@](#): > > As for your second question, we must point out that, scientifically speaking, animals always do it for fun. The only critters who do it because they have to are Catholics. Take it from your Unca Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/87 "2005-01-03T03:17:26Z")
> [@Cynical Optimist](#): > > That’s similiar to what I first heard years ago: that “Cecil Adams” is the _nom de guerre_ used by the Straight Dope Advisory Board when they unanimously (or nearly so) agree on the answer to a question. When there’s significant opposition to the majority viewpoint the reply gets attributed to a named individual on that board. Over time the SDAB membership will change but the SDAB as personified by Cecil will be eternal. > > I have no idea if this is true and don’t expect we’re going to get an answer here, … Here’s your answer to that bit of lore, directly from the mouth of a mod/SDAB member. Cecil answers questions at his whim. While we have access to a board that lists all of the questions that have been sent to Cecil(and you can’t BELIEVE how many he gets!), we in no way influence what he chooses. We have no input. We just do our thing, and he does his. You give the staff too much credit, suggesting that we co-ordinate enough as a committee to do the work of THE PERFECT MASTER. Hell, it’s hard enough for Dex to find someone to write a Staff Report. Just ask him. ---
**Author:** ![alterego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6bbea6/32.png) [@alterego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alterego)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/88 "2005-01-03T03:29:14Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > Here’s your answer to that bit of lore, directly from the mouth of a mod/SDAB member. Oh my god, the moderators believe in Cecil too. So much for the USPTO!! ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/89 "2005-01-03T03:32:54Z")
Too bad I know an editor from the Reader…he told me there was no Cecil, that is was a group of people and that they “farm out” the questions. He was drinking though and was probably trying to throw me off. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/90 "2005-01-03T03:37:06Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > What would happen to this place if our Beloved Leader suddenly dropped dead? On my moderately busy message board, I’ve given my site “vitals” – DNS registrar and binding information, software registration information, Web hosting information, control panel URLs, and all associated usernames, serial numbers and passwords – to a _very_ trusted third party. In case of my extended absence, the mods and admins have been instructed to contact my parents. The third party will also confirm. In case of a worst case scenario - death, coma, incarceration or anything else that would stop me from continuing the site – the third party will release the vitals to the mods. ---
**Author:** ![rfgdxm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c0e974/32.png) [@rfgdxm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rfgdxm)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/91 "2005-01-03T03:37:38Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > According to that site, Cecil “died” quite some time ago. > > Other Data CECIL ADAMS DOES NOT IDENTIFY ANY PARTICULAR INDIVIDUAL BUT WAS DEVISED AS A FANCIFUL NAME > Live/Dead Indicator DEAD > Abandonment Date March 29, 1989 No. That is saying that Cecil Adams never existed as a person. “Cecil Adams” was a trademark, and the paper could use anyone to write as Cecil Adams they wanted to. How accurate the above is I don’t know. For whatever reason, the Reader abandoned “Cecil Adams” as a trademark. ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/92 "2005-01-03T08:51:47Z")
No worries, i have already cloned Cecil and will decant him upon the great one’s death 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/93 "2005-01-03T09:34:02Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > the kind of immortality that doesn’t require feeding off of the blood of others. So, you’re saying he _doesn’t_ have **Porphyria**? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090/94 "2005-01-03T22:09:16Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > You give the staff too much credit, suggesting that we co-ordinate enough as a committee to do the work of THE PERFECT MASTER. Hell, it’s hard enough for Dex to find someone to write a Staff Report. Just ask him. An utterly risible idea. I’m sure that **Dex’s** job in coordinating the SDSAB is rather akin to herding cats as it is. While I answer Mailbag questions in my own field of expertise, and may occasionally provide some information to Cecil on such subjects, I don’t think that I’m qualified to “agree” or “disagree” on most of the reports submitted by other Staff members, much less on Cecil’s columns on the many other kinds of topics he covers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question-what-happens-to-sdmb-if-cecil-dies/282090.md?page=4)