# A morbid question...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question/164903>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [March 28, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question/164903 "2003-03-28T22:00:59Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question/164903/1 "2003-03-28T22:00:59Z")

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Is there a term for one’s deceased spouse?

“My (insert word here) was an accountant.”

It sounds so strange to say, “My dead husband was an accountant.” “My deceased husband was an accountant.”

It’s almost easier to say ex-husband…less shock and sympathy, which is not needed at this time…

Any ideas how to refer to him?

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**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question/164903/2 "2003-03-28T22:04:43Z")

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“Late husband”?

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**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question/164903/3 "2003-03-28T22:08:57Z")

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I think “My husband **was** …” pretty well explains the situation.

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**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question/164903/4 "2003-03-28T22:11:22Z")

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I think “late” works well.

“Was” might have some ambiguity in that they may think he merely changed profession.

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**Author:** ![Splanky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@Splanky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Splanky)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question/164903/5 "2003-03-28T22:14:14Z")

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**jesuslynch** , saying was is definitely not a good idea. Someone told me their dad was a dentist. I made some witty remark like, “What, he got tired of all those teeth?” and the guy replied, “No, he’s DEAD!”. This was a kid BTW. Not a comfortable situation.

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**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\
**Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-morbid-question/164903/6 "2003-03-29T01:29:59Z")

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I definitely vote for “late.” Everyone knows what you mean, and it flows into conversation easily. Though, depending on the situation you might not need (or want) to explain. For instance, after my dad died, I got his car. So, now I’m in high school driving a BMW, so people would occaisionaly hassle me (“Hey man, you got money, buy me lunch” or whatever) and I could just say “It was my late father’s” and there would be an instant change of attitude. However, if I’m relating a story about my dad, odds are I’ll just say “One time my dad…”